My thread on AIBU about DSD

[BOMgoneoff]

here

Hello, i'm not sure of the ettiquette here but I thought i should ask for some advice over here because this problem is specifically DSD related.

I don't know if people would prefer to comment on the other thread if it keeps it 'tidier'?

Many thanks in advance.

Hi BGO- I've followed both your threads with interest but sadly don't have any advice as my DBDs are 10 & 9 and I have DD7. I have no experience of teenage years (I know it's coming)

I can quite understand how distressing this must be for you and DH and how frustrating that your attemps to help her are undermined by her selfish & immature mother..

There are plenty of other BoMs with experience of Teens that will probably come along and help I'm sure.

Thanks so much, it's good to know there is some support - I feel like Im stabbing in the dark!

Original thread has gone?

Can't find thread - was it the one about chatting on fb to man she hadn't met?

this it?

I'm sorry, I had to delete it. DSD discovered I had writen about the situation on here from sneaking at my history and there was some stuff that was a bit adult and about her mum that I don't think she is ready to see or understand.

Dp has told her to delete him, she actually said she understood and that she would do so... but she hasn't so we've got a fraught evening ahead of us

Neither DP nor I really know what on earth to do..

BOMgoneoff Oh dear :( been following your threads but have not advice for you.

What did your DP say when you told him? Hope it goes ok tonight

Dp is confused too, whilst he was certain that it was wrong and he would take her off FB, he said it is probably just normal for kids to explore their sexuality and that these days this is how they do it. Then I showed him the messages which are extremely needy i.e. "I'm all alone, and scared and do you really love me?" etc and I think it sunk in that she does maybe have a problem.
He gave her the chance to delete the boy in order to stay on FB but as she hasn't I guess she'll be comeing off tonight. At least, at our house.

Sorry - this is a bit cryptic if you didnt read the original thread!

BGO- I hope all goes well tonight.

BOM sounds like DP was in denial about it, hopefully it's sunk in now.

Good luck for later, you know where we are if you need to rant later :)

Thats so kind, thank you.

Sooo, by the time she got to ours she had deleted the boy. So at least he?s gone and I will be keeping an eye. It doesn?t sort out why she is feeling the need to do this though. She and I went out to the cinema last night once my DD was in bed. And she and DP are doing something just the two of them on Thursday. I can?t do anything about when she is at her mum?s but if she gets a lot of attention and love here hopefully that will help.

I think you are doing the right thing here- lots of nice time with her.

You can't control her home life at her mums but you certainly can make yours nice. If she feels valued and loved at yours it can only be positive.

She did tell me last night that she appreicates that me and DP dont go out when we have her and my DD at home. She couldnt understand why we don't and seemed shocked when I said it was because we enjoy their company!!

DP and I have decided that lots of love rather than lots of telling off will probably work best! But she knows if she adds anyone else on facebook whom she hasn't met, she will be off it. At least at our house.

although, as DP reminded me, we bought her laptop and iphone so we could actually say she cant have it at her mums if necessary!

Result ! Hope all gets better from now on. She is lucky to have you.

ha, I didnt think she thought she was lucky to have us but now I think maybe she does