DH labelling ice-cream in freezer

[nomedoit]

My son, aged 19, has been home for uni over the summer. He is a nightmare. Rude (really, you could say almost abusive to me), hostile, lazy, untidy, disorganized. My DH and I are both counting down the days til he goes back and I stop running a hotel for him. I've tried the whole boundary thing but nothing works, he is immune to it all. He made very little effort even to get a job. Honestly this the DS day:

1pm - get up
1.30 - large breakfast plus TV
4.00 - nap
5.00 - contents of fridge plus TV
7.00 - huge dinner
8.00 - go out to friend's house
4am - bedtime

Poor DH has withdrawn. Anyhow. tonight he has labelled some ice-cream he bought, 'Do not eat.' Because DS bloody eats everything. And I felt like crying. Labelling our food just seemed to symbolize how fractured our 'family' is.

i would try and contact him in every form of communication possible i.e - text, phone, email, facebook, even leaving message with his form tutor.

Make it clear in all the messages that you want to come and see him but you "understand" how busy he is so if you don't hear from him by ...... time/day then you wont make the journey and will post his card.

this way he cant say you didnt contact him but you are also being "understanding" of how busy he is

That is so clever IAP - any chance you coming to stay at mine for a while ?

I just feel so sorry for you all being treated like this. My ds1 is only 7 years and I am dreading the teenage years already.

One thing I have gleamed from these posts is that I do need to make sure my sons are self reliant (i.e can cook, clean etc) and to "NIP" bad behaviour quickly!!

IAP - he finally replied at 3am! Says OK to come down. That was a great suggestion. Yes, don't do anythnig for the DS's that they are capable of doing for themselves. And learn from my mistakes - make them do jobs around the house and tidy up their rooms!