To dread England loosing

[Soxy2154]

My DH is out tonight watching the game, I'm home praying England win tonight.
If England loose i know I will be in for a beating.

Not that easy at midnight with no money. Refuges don’t always have room. @Soxy2154please call a helpline asap.

Call an uber and go straight to a hospital and wait in the waiting room so you're in a safe public space. Ideally go to the police station and say you're in danger and fear for your life.

How are you @Soxy2154

Oh yes I didn’t mean immediately, it does take time to secure an available place, organise travel etc. I meant that someone always has options, even when a perpetrator has left them feeling powerless and dependent.

If you won’t leave for you, do it for your children. You are doing them irreversible damage by staying in an abusive relationship.

Refuge will help you claim benefits and find somewhere to stay. You can leave him.

You can go to a refuge with your children. Staying is a choice you're making and it's not fair on your children. Not saying it's easy but you have to do it. Don't kid yourself or say that you can't leave. Of course you can.

Agreed. Although can be very difficult.

Leave now.
Work out the details later.

A good women's domestic abuse charity will normally work with partner agencies to help with housing, benefits etc.

OP. You have 4 days to make a plan. It’s very, very scary but you and your children deserve not to live a life of fear.

Please please please set up emergency texting for the UK 999 service (EmergencySMS), simply text the word register to 999. You will receive a reply text; read it, then reply to that text with yes to complete the registration. You will get a final message confirming success.
Once registered, if you ever need to contact emergency services and cannot make a voice call, send a text to 999 with the following information:
Who: The service you need (e.g., Police, Ambulance, Fire, Coastguard, or Mountain Rescue)
What: A brief description of the emergency
Where: Your exact location (including postcode, road name, house number, or nearby landmarks)
You can write this info out before hand and not send on most iphones and probably Android, but I’m not sure, then come out of that message and it saves it as draft, so you can just press send when you need it.
Alternatively, and maybe safer if your abuser checks your phone you can delete 999 set up message.
On an iPhone, use Text Replacement. It lets you type a short trigger (like addror home) and have it expand into your full address.
Here’s how:

1. Open Settings.
2. Tap General.
3. Tap Keyboard.
4. Tap Text Replacement.
5. Tap the + in the top-right corner.
6. In Phrase, type police, domestic violence happening now, your full address and anything else.
7. In Shortcut, type a short trigger, such as helpme or dv or a safe word you choose that is short, easy to type and you don’t use in normal life because it would auto populate everywhere.
8. Tap Save.

If you have Android, I suggest you google to find out how to do this for your specific phone.

Also get in touch with women’s aid

If you call 999 from the landline and press 55 once the handler picks up, they know you can't speak and to send the police to the address associated with the number.

This is very good advice for anyone in an unsafe, or potentially unsafe situation to know. Especially the step by step guide, particularly useful to put into phone (if possible) when in a “calm” moment, to then have to hand when needed, rather than panicking and trying to do it when you do need it. The shortcut idea is a very good one, to make it so much quicker and safer when needed. But even having just the steps for registering, please, anyone this might help, do it as soon as you can. Thank you @knottywig

@mnhqis there anywhere, on the relevant boards, where this, and other messages/info like this can somehow be “pinned” where maybe it can be visible?

Are you okay op?

Thankyou all, me and my children are safe today.
I know it sounds silly but he's made me so reliant on him I truly feel trapped. I also seen another post on MN claiming I had made this up which made me feel even worse & totally stupid.

Contact women’s aid or similar or your local police - they will help you leave. There’s organisations that will get you back on your feet. If you are in n Somerset pm me because I can put you in touch with people who can help you

It’s well known that domestic violence has a massive spike when England loose games

It's Rangers,Celtic games in Scotland
DV in all it's forms is pathetic.

You are not stupid, it can happen to any woman because these men are skilled manipulators.

When you say you are safe, do you mean that you have left, or that you are still there but he isn't being abusive today?

Why can't you leave OP?

@Soxy2154 can you go to your parents or a friend's house for a day or two until he's calmed down?

You don't understand how abuse works at all.

If you're still there, please try to leave or at least make some kind of safety plan in time for Wednesday night's game. Realistically, Argentina will win.

Does he work? Could you call Refuge or Women's Aid whilst he's at work?

Please get in touch with one of the helpful organisations posted above. Make immediate plans to let (preferably before Wednesday). You can do this. Best wishes to you and your children.

@Soxy2154
Thank you for checking in.
You are NOT stupid.
Have you had a chance to read some of the really helpful posts here?