Page 4 | To dread England loosing

Soxy2154 · 2026-07-11T22:45:58+00:00

My DH is out tonight watching the game, I'm home praying England win tonight. If England loose i know I will be in for a beating.

notatinydancer · 12/07/2026 19:49

MrSchubertWhiskers · 12/07/2026 18:04

I do have experience of abusive situations and understand how it works.

The op is clearly not about to go to the police - or barricade the door - despite urging because she needs more of a plan. She is also in imminent danger. Removing her & her children from the immediate situation could give her the breathing space needed to line up the support and head space needed to get out.

Its harder to do that when you're constantly on tenterhooks waiting for him to come through the door.

Posters on mumsnet also don't seem to be aware, or forget, that leaving an abusive station isn't simple. Most women take several attempts to do so. Therefore reams of posts telling her to 'get out now' are unhelpful. She knows she needs to leave. Sometimes, it can be more helpful to offer interim suggestions. It is also less overwhelming.

I trust the op would know whether going to stay with a family member or friend for a night or two would make it worse or not. He might not be someone who is triggered by her staying with her mum for the night, for example, so I trust the op to judge whether the suggestion I made is safe for her or not.

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I understand plenty about DV Thank you both personally and through work. I just hope the OP can leave safely whenever and however she can.

cestlavielife · 12/07/2026 19:57

Tomorrow go speak to the police
or your gp
or go to boots with a pharmacist ask for a consultation . Tell them everything .
You and d c will be helped to a safe place
Dont wait for the next match

JustSawJohnny · 12/07/2026 20:58

Soxy2154 · 12/07/2026 17:58

Thankyou all for your care & concern it is truly appreciated.
I have heard you all. i just wish it was easy to put into practice. Im not innocent in all this I've deserved it at times, I can irritate my DH without knowing and he looses his temper very easily. I try to keep the peace but sometimes it doesn't work. I feel for my children who are innocent in all this.

Nobody EVER deserves a beating, OP.

Nothing you could say or do would justify it.

You are the victim and utterly innocent in all ways bar one - allowing your kids to be in a house with an abuser without trying to get them away.

He has clearly done a good job of isolating you so you are reliant on him BUT that doesn't excuse letting the kids grow up in that environment.

You need to start the wheels in motion of getting both you and them away from him.

Do not sit and wait for the inevitable.

You have 3 days to make a plan of somewhere to take the kids to.

Do you have any family members you can call?

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 13/07/2026 00:17

At some level, you know that him hitting you and raping is him doing wrong to you. That's why you started this thread in the first place.

If you tell the police and they see the bruises he's left on you, they will arrest him.

Bikergran · 13/07/2026 07:46

Soxy2154 · 12/07/2026 17:58

Thankyou all for your care & concern it is truly appreciated.
I have heard you all. i just wish it was easy to put into practice. Im not innocent in all this I've deserved it at times, I can irritate my DH without knowing and he looses his temper very easily. I try to keep the peace but sometimes it doesn't work. I feel for my children who are innocent in all this.

Nobody DESERVES domestic abuse, he has brainwashed you into believing this. Please go to the police or contact one of the helplines mentioned in other posts.

MrSchubertWhiskers · 13/07/2026 11:19

@Soxy2154 I've been thinking about you, are you safe today?

12234m · 13/07/2026 18:02

Soxy2154 · 12/07/2026 17:58

Thankyou all for your care & concern it is truly appreciated.
I have heard you all. i just wish it was easy to put into practice. Im not innocent in all this I've deserved it at times, I can irritate my DH without knowing and he looses his temper very easily. I try to keep the peace but sometimes it doesn't work. I feel for my children who are innocent in all this.

You don't bring this on yourself. If you truly feel for your children then you'll get out. You could literally call the police now, or we can, and he can be made to leave. You can choose to leave or you can choose to stay but your children have no choice.

If you said right now I want to leave, I can guarantee there will be enough mumsnetters who can talk you through the process and help you.

Yet again, I am minded to wish that mn could use some of its fortune to furnish a flat somewhere that can be used by people living in fear of beatings and being raped for those women who don't believe that they can call for help and get it.