Jesus christ the pain!!

[Carrotcakeforbreakfast]

I'm hoping to get some advice here on how to tackle this horrific spot I have.

It is huge, no head and on MY ARSE. I'm I'm absolute agony
I can't sit down
I can't walk properly.

It really really hurts. I've tried squeezing but it hasn't helped. It is just solid with no head.
It is honestly making me want to cry.

Any pro tips?

Maybe wash the whole area with hibiscrub twice a day (skirting the vulva), and wash clothes at 60 degrees?

It sounds like you have Hidradenitis suppurativa.

I thought that too @FiveEyes but isn't it usually only in the groin and armpit areas?

It can be anywhere - under breasts is common, waist for some people, around the arse, vulva is certainly not unusual and if the OP can keep it to separate sores that would be good. Squeezing can create horizontal tracts and tunnels under the skin. It can be a very difficult condition to live with and treat.

And it has nothing to do with the OPs hygiene.