What made you decide it was time to seek an autism assessment for your child? £200 voucher to be won

[EllieSmumsnet]

Wondering whether to seek an autism assessment for your child can feel like a huge decision. For some parents, it's a gradual realisation as little things start to add up. For others, it's one particular moment that makes them think, "Maybe it's time to find out more."

If you've been through this, we'd love to hear about your experience. What made you decide to seek an assessment? Was there a specific incident, a conversation with school, or had you been noticing signs for a while? And looking back, do you feel it was the right time?

Share your story below by 26/08/2026 to be entered into a prize draw to win a £200 VEX voucher for a store of your choice. Your experience could help reassure other parents who are wondering whether to take that first step. (T&Cs)

Like others, I had to fight for the assessment. The school didn't take it seriously and the GP and school kept passing the responsibility to each other. Honestly, it was all a headache, but I'm glad I stuck to my guns.

My son finally got diagnosed aged 19. He struggled socially at school but no one would help and he was getting good grades.
When he was 18 he was really struggling with his moods and anxiety. Hardly leaving the house.
We went to our GP who was absolutely fantastic with him.
Guided him through the process and after a long wait he was diagnosed.
He's on medication now and I would say he's improved 80%>
He's self confidence has soared and he's more outgoing socially.

Anxiety and difficulty with social interactions. Also, starting to know more children of the same age from when school started gave us a better view of the kind of behaviours other children present and how common our DC's traits were. Made us realise that some things our DC does just aren't universal kids' things.

knew he was different when he turned 1 and didn’t start speaking. he remained in the babbling stage until he was about 3. then at preschool, things became a bit more pressing when they assessed him to be age 9-12 months developmentally (relating to speech but also general communication and understanding). that’s when I went to the GP and asked for a referral.
he wasn’t assessed and diagnosed until a year and a half later - by then in Yr1 and massively struggling with school, spending more time outside the classroom than in it, ripping up worksheets and just get really being miserable.
thankfully he was at a tiny village infant school, so got the support before diagnosis and long before the EHCP we secured the year after.
apaprt from the long initial wait, everything went rather smoothly - the diagnosis was clear cut, the ehcp came through quickly as we had so much support and evidence from school (including SALT, OT and EdPsy involvement and reports).
he is now in Yr7 and thriving at secondary school (although he still struggles with the social side and communication). it wasn’t until Yr4 that things slowly turned around and he “accepted” school, so I’m immensely proud!
academically, he is on target or exceeding targets in almost every subject (bar English, for obvious reasons). he’s always been great at maths, but also really enjoys computer science as well as the humanities, as they align with a few of his special interests!

should probably also add that he presents “textbook autistic”: flaps his hands, spins himself around, hums to himself, robotic speech patterns. like pretty much everyone can see instantly that he is “different”. doesn’t help in some areas of life, but certainly helped with school and doctors!

I myself masked heavily and trained myself to fit into society, and wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood.

Home life was very difficult. Going out, doing anything within the home. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, having a bath.
The school thought there was absolutely ZERO issues. Heavy masker. Even with teachers with 20 plus years experience. They all thought I was going CRAZY and I was the BAD mum who can’t “control” her child 🤣 Even took the child into PJ into school (with the uniform in the school bag) as couldn’t get dressed!

Within the next two years it got worse to the point of EBSA and then no school. We just caught it early enough to apply for an EHCP (which hasn’t helped as the county I live in).

Also, the child’s OWN party that was decided by them couldn’t attend! 😬 due to anxiety and noise! I think that was when I decided I needed justification something was definitely different compared to my other children.

First child noticed the signs from a baby, but wanted to give it time and see how things developed. It was a friend mentioning their child had been diagnosed and discussing that which made us decide to pursue when our child was 3. Younger child much more subtle signs, and it was an assessment for something else that picked up issues with processing and was the final trigger that made us decide to pursue before they got to secondary school and things got harder for them.

I haven't actually had my eldest assessed yet because none of the professionals take anything I say seriously, even though she clearly has some of the traits. Right now, I'm very worried about her social development.

I'm actually on the other side of this in that, I was one of the ones that pushed for the assessment to take place for a family member. Other family members thought it was normal and tried to make me feel bad 'by having the audacity to suggest there was anything wrong with their kid'. Until now, nothing has been done. It's clear to everyone that he's autistic, but the family still treat him like their other kids and don't make adjustments for him, neither do his teachers. It's actually pretty frustrating but I'm going to continue pushing as it's only right.

When it was obvious he had no.idea how to get involved in any form of creative play. We are still awaiting assessment - it's been years.

She started to get upset that she didn't think like 'everyone else' and it was effecting her self esteem. We thought a diagnosis might help her understand herself and help other understand her

With my youngest DS, I noticed from when he was a baby and toddler that he behaved and played differently from his sibling. As he got older, those differences became more noticeable, particularly with how he coped at school. The school is under-resourced and we’re still trying to get the extra support he needs. I had lots of doubts and guilt about seeking an assessment, but eventually realised that understanding his needs was more important than worrying about a label. I’m glad I trusted my instincts, although I’m now very worried about the transition to secondary school and whether he’ll get the support he needs.

The SENCo at my daughter's primary school called me in to discuss some concerning behaviour of hers.

I'd always felt that my daughter was different to others her age but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

When she described the behaviour back to me, I suddenly realised what she was describing. I asked whether she thought my daughter was on the autistic spectrum and she said 'yes'.

So I took DD to the doctor and got a referral. All in all it took just over three and a half years to be assessed and diagnosed. I'm so glad we did it.

When it became clear that some health issues he was having were impacted by likely ND. I'd always wondered, but it hadn't affected him negatively until another major issue. One HCP mentioned ND traits in passing, and conversations with other HCPs and school led to us heading down the pathway of diagnosis. I hadn't been bothered until it became clear it was impacting his life at which point it seems useful in terms of his self understanding and accessing support going forwards.

Ds had a long history of delays and finally a new consultant suggested ASD. I was just relieved it was not muscular dystrophy which given his poor swallow and low muscle tone was a possibility. Muscular Dystrophy was raised by the consultant and had caused me huge anguish to say the least. It was becaus3 my son used his hands to get up when picking up a ball. We moved and the new consultant said ASD. He then left and we had ye5 another consultant. At this stage, the ADOS was mixed ( not enough score) and the school did not think he was ASD. Yet he was there flapping his hands in front of all of them. NHS SALT were convinced he was as he had severe language impairment diagnosed with echolalia etc. He showed clear autistic language issues. His pragmatic language was at 0.75 percentile. He also had NHS OT diagnosed severe motor issues and SPD. For us, it made no difference what it was called and his needs were high and he had an EHCP with low incident high needs funding regardless.
However when he moved, senior school were not happy with the individual diagnosis as it did not explain what was happening. We just had every individual component NHS diagnosed right down to bowel disorder, low tone and inability to distinguish sounds from different directions .

The consultant was looking to establish a differential diagnosis for kids with ND that had physical and language issues. We were kept in complex neurodiversity disorder for a decade.

His secondary school were not happy as they had to put in more support than expected as junior school had not been honest (I think) eg he needed someone in all lessons not just those requiring recording so even in domestic science to keep him safe.

That consultant retired and a new consultant immediately said ASD and arranges and urgent ADOS to confirm,