What are your non-negotiables for your child’s phone use? Win The Other Phone worth £279!

[LibbyMumsnet]

As you may have seen by now, we have launched The Other Phone, a safety-first smartphone for children, created with Mumsnet users and built with Nothing and SafetyMode.

First phones can be brilliant for independence but access to the internet on a personal device brings its own safety concerns.

That’s why we have designed a phone that brings you peace of mind: tailored safety settings that suit your family, with the design and performance of a modern smartphone that your DCs will actually want to use.

With a first phone comes new boundaries to set and everyone has a slightly different approach. We’d want to hear what has worked for your family:

• What are your house rules for phones and your DC, and which have genuinely stuck?
• Have any softened as your child has grown?

Share your thoughts below for a chance to win The Other Phone worth £279. One lucky winner will be chosen at random. Enter by 30 November. (T&C's)

There will always be apps that they can use and download, and others which I would not allow like facebook and instagram until they are old enough and mature enough to view the content.

To make sure they understand the importance of online safety before I allow the phone and to reenforce respect for others, and to balance phone use with outdoor play, reading, and family time.

Not allowed to hide any part of it from me until older.

This is a brilliant idea however, I think the price of the phone makes it very unaccessible to most families.

1. I get the final say on any apps or games she wants.
2. No phone in bedroom / overnight.
3. I get to read / explore / open anything on there at any time.
4. She can use WhatsApp for family and close friends but is not allowed to join groups.

She's 10. 11 in December. I'll alter some of these when she starts secondary.

I definitely have become less strict as my tween has gotten older as they use it to arrange meet ups with friends. Absolutely not at meal times is my biggy and not in their bedroom. Beds are for sleeping not for phones.

Phone lives on the landing, never in his room. Means we always know when he's on it. He's fine with it right now, we'll see when 13 hits....

Sounds great, wish it was cheaper

I gave DS (my eldest) his first phone quite young, before he was really interested, which made setting rules very easy. I did it because he was at the age (9) where he wanted to walk to a friends house/the park independently and I wanted him to have a way to contact me. We had and still have fairly strict rules - he is 13 now and the rules continue.

1. phones are for communication. Not games. He has an iPad and uses that for playing and watching stuff - we have separate rules and screen time limits for that - so on the phone no games are allowed. At all. It’s just for communication even though it’s an iPhone.
2. no phones (indeed no screens) in his room, or during dinner, or after 8pm (used to be earlier)
3. I have full access

No problems or arguments here. He is allowed WhatsApp now he is 13 and I monitor this closely but phones have never really been an issue for us.

His sister, who is disabled, is at the age now where he had his first phone and I haven’t given her one yet. She is not independent, won’t be for a long time, so it doesn’t feel pressing. But maybe this is the time to get her used to having a phone, I’m sure she would love it.

Thought worth posting this review of the Other phone from Tech Radar which we're super excited about!

I put time limits on their phone and limit certain apps. My other rule is that a parent can ask to check their phone and they need to hand it over.

These rules relax as they get older, but to begin with (age 10-12 ish) it was important to do as there was so many stupid messages and some borderline bullying going on. Lots of us parents locked things down or removed apps due to misuse.

No phone in the bedroom or at meal times. We have a screen limit of 2 hours although this is quite hard to stick to and causes some mild trantrums.

No phones at the table when we are eating. Phone can be checked by parents. Obviously this changes as they get older.

They use it safely, and keep it in their school bag or with teacher at school.
They need to come to me if there is anything they are not sure about, and I have to be asked about any apps they want to download.
Phones used correctly can be very useful, and your child can contact you if they need to - BUT the internet and some apps can be a place where I don't want my DS to go.

Thanks so much, am really glad you think it’s a good idea.

I hear you on the price point. It’s worth saying that, as TechRadar pointed out in their review, “On paper, the device sounds similar to the HMD Fuse, which uses SafeToNet’s HarmBlock+ AI to detect and block harmful content. The Other Phone, however, costs less than half the price of HMD’s kid-friendly phone, and in being a modified version of the best cheap phone on the market, it may better resonate with style-conscious teens.”

So while it’s not bargain-basement, for the tech (it's a really high quality device) it’s actually relatively affordable compared with other safety-focused phones - and the hardware itself is based on Nothing’s “best cheap phone on the market.”

That said, we completely get that price matters, and we’re already seeing if we can negotiate a special Mumsnetter discount to make it more accessible for parents who want a safer first phone for their kids. Watch this space!

For my 13year old - here's my list
No phones at bedtime – sleep is way more important than scrolling!
Only kind messages – if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don't text or post it.
Ask before downloading – no sneaky apps or games without permission.
Homework before screen time – school first, phone later - then it's downstairs for 7 til the next day.
Family first – if Mum or Dad calls, always answer.

No phone til start of yr 7
We have full access to the phone and control app purchases
only social media is WhatsApp and we check the contacts carefully - have to be people known IRL
Timer controls lock out phone use from 9pm-7am (it was 8pm til age 14)
Phone outside of bedroom overnight and during homework
No phones at meals or out during activities like games, watching films etc

Family Link remains on even after reach the age they can turn it off themselves. Can't be used between 8.30pm and 7am (unless out at an activity later). Didn't allow Snapchat until age 14. 2 hours limit a day.

My non-negotiables for my 12-year-old’s phone use are simple: the phone is for school and emergencies only, not for endless games or social media. It stays out of the bedroom at night and charges in a shared space. We download apps together, and I can check the phone anytime to help keep things safe, not to invade privacy. Personal details like our address, school name, or photos aren’t shared online, and all messages must be kind and respectful.

I would not allow facebook, snapchat or instagram to be added, they can play games, and use for browsing - with parental controls set, and use it for close friends, and family members when texting - not 100% sure about whether whatsapp would be one I would allow.

No phones in bed! And phones locked down until 6am. For the eldest (13) we did relent on the bed things, we were a bungalow we feel we have good visibility anyway

My kids are older now, so they didn't get a phone as a young child. But one thing I read on here that seemed like a good idea to me is to tell your child that the phone belongs to you, not them, but they are welcome to 'borrow' it, so long as they obey your rules regarding the use of it, so they give it back to you whenever you ask for it, be that for bedtime, or a random spot check or whenever you don't want them to have it. It will always be your phone, not their property. I recommended this to my grandchildren's parents.

Hi @DinkyDaffodil holding off on social media makes sense. Are there any other types of apps you’re quite strict about, or any you’re really happy for them to have?

Hi @sharond101 it’s so tough when “everyone else” seems to be allowed everything, especially in that tween stage. How do you find the peer pressure from friends and even other parents? Are you able to hold firm on your big boundaries?

@SaltyJT the landing rule is clever, you always have that bit of oversight. Do you think you will relax things as he moves through his teens, or is the phone-out-of-bedroom rule one you feel you will hang on to?

No phones in the bedroom, and if they have a group chat for a friendship group that they allow me to look at it, not sure about facebook or instagram - I want them to have their friendship groups connected with fun instagram pictures - but need to know about security settings for this.