What are your non-negotiables for your child’s phone use? Win The Other Phone worth £279!

[LibbyMumsnet]

As you may have seen by now, we have launched The Other Phone, a safety-first smartphone for children, created with Mumsnet users and built with Nothing and SafetyMode.

First phones can be brilliant for independence but access to the internet on a personal device brings its own safety concerns.

That’s why we have designed a phone that brings you peace of mind: tailored safety settings that suit your family, with the design and performance of a modern smartphone that your DCs will actually want to use.

With a first phone comes new boundaries to set and everyone has a slightly different approach. We’d want to hear what has worked for your family:

• What are your house rules for phones and your DC, and which have genuinely stuck?
• Have any softened as your child has grown?

Share your thoughts below for a chance to win The Other Phone worth £279. One lucky winner will be chosen at random. Enter by 30 November. (T&C's)

My non-negotiables for my child’s phone use are that it must always be used safely and responsibly. Phones stay on during travel so I can reach him, but no phones in lessons or during homework. Social media and apps require my approval, and location must always be on for safety. Screen time has limits, and any message, post, or contact that makes him uncomfortable please show me or his dad.

Mine is a ban on social media. My son is 14 but we have softened to allow whatsapp with school friends

No social media for as long as possible
Location app
Access any time to their phone
Talks often of what they might have seen online even via others who have more access to phones friends, family etc
Chats about social media versus reality. Shows them filters people use. Talk them through how paid People are liars.
Talk them through what certain messages they might recieve are to deceive.
Show them the short film on how what people snap is not what life people are often living.
Always remined them they can come to us with anything they see or are thinking regarding online.
Phone safety. All the general bit regarding photos and identity.
Downstairs at night.
Not at meals
Try to make sure their is "other" things we do so its not a go-to or friend to become reliant on.
Remind them what words can do to people.
Remind them of algorithm so the vacuum they might find themselves in isn't necessarily the scary reality.

No phone/ headphones can be used in the car for short distances dj we can all chat. Longer they’re allowed but at some stage we have to chat too!!

It's your responsibility to charge it up - if you cannot be responsible enough to do this -your not responsible enough to have a phone.

No phones at the dining room table we are there to eat and chat- not scroll and sulk.

The only whatsapp chats are the football club, family chat and the close school friends who I know

Use the screen protector !

Keep your phone in your bag during lessons — school comes first, texting comes later.

Not to send anything to anyone if you would be upset if it were made public.
No using phones when walking. I see so many teenagers just stepping into the road without looking because they are looking at their phones.

That no credit card of mine is linked to the games they play on their phone - I'm not paying for loot boxes or extra lives. Also the safeguarding themes of being able to look at their phone, and no phones in the bedroom when they are supposed to be winding down for bed.

I think 13 is the time I would allow a smartphone, they are just about becoming independent and meeting friends outside school - going to cinema, and needing whatsapp groups to arrange this.
My non negotiable would be to have the phone downstairs on the hallway table - to remember to take to school the next day - and not to have them in the bedroom.

Having the phone in an anti smash case - a new screen has just cost me a LOT of money.

No instagram or snapchat until they are mature enough to down load them.

No phone use after 8pm or before 8am. No downloading apps without permission. No Tik Tok ect. Phone always free for adults to check

If any of you have watched - educating Yorkshire, and just how much some of the girls have spent on their phone - I was totally shocked just how much screentime they were on their phones, it's life ruining for them - so my non negotiable would be just that - limiting screentime - to protect their mental health from this social media addiction which is a ticking timebomb for our children.
Make them aware of - yes use their phone- but the endless doomscrolling and FOMO needs to be stopped early.

My daughter had one from the start of Middle School. We can; spot check any time, no social media, no adding/talking to strangers and no group chats over 4 people. Plus no tech in rooms over night. All rules still in place 4 years later and no big issies yet!!

13 is old enough for a child to be mature and sensible enough to look after and use a smart phone - non -negotiable is the screen protector and anti smash case - and no phones in their bedroom .

That I know the password and it can is charged in the hallway in the evening and not in the bedroom.

I cannot see any reason why I would let a child have a phone before the age of 14, they simply are not mature enough to use one. I may change my views when my DS goes to secondary school and let them have one, but when I hear about the on-line bullying and content which is out there - I would want to protect my DS for as long as possible. I know other mums in my friendship group of 8 year olds think the same.
I'd need to know more about a phone and how it can protect my son and may sway my mind.

If anything online makes you feel uncomfortable, confused, or scared, come and tell me right away — you’re never in trouble for asking for help.

DC's mobile is for communication with immediate family, and emergency contacts only. Our arrangement is that its number is never given out, so effectively old-school 'ex-directory', nor are others saved on it (except for select parents of closest friends to facilitate meet ups if one party is late/out-of-sight.)

Whilst the handset and number is DC's in reality, it is thought of as a 'family device', which makes it easier for DC to breezily decline handing out number to others when asked, saying the phone is just "a loaner".
DC is actually really happy about this, as it's taken the pressure off being roped into social media and some of the toxic group-chats that were causing all manner of upset for peers in the earlier days of high school (and are undoubtably still problematic for some).

As far as mobile-internet is concerned, it remains deactivated by default.
However, the capability is an important option when circumstances merit (namely, I'll instruct/permit it to be activated to become a mobile hotspot for DC's school device if we are out and about away from our home connection).

Perhaps suprisingly, despite DC now nearing upper-teens they have no desire to change things, so this approach continues to work well all-around.

Screen time is limited and everything must be transparent. It's so hard these days, especially with social media being the norm and the added risk of danger with that.

@benjaminjamesandgraham Totally hear you on bedrooms and group chats. If you do try Instagram, you can keep it private, limit who can tag or message, and switch off suggested mentions. Would it help to start with a private account you both manage together so you can teach settings as you go?

I really need help on how to do this - how to restrict chats, and settings to they cannot be added to any inappropriate chats - I want them to enjoy social media with their close friends - but be safe. Peer pressure about being part of a group is something they need to deal with .