Do you talk to your children about emotional wellbeing? Share with the GDST for a chance to win a £300 John Lewis voucher

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There’s been a huge change over the years in how we speak out mental health, and it’s becoming more and more apparent that we need to be educating our children about their emotional wellbeing as well. The Girls’ Day School Trust (GDST), a family of 25 schools across the UK, would like to hear your views on how we can help children to be happy and feel good in the world.

What do you think affects your children's mental health and how do you talk to them about it? Do you think exam pressure or even entrance exams cause your children stress? Does social media affect your children? Do they talk to you about their emotions or do you approach the topic of mental health if you see them struggling? Do you think mental health and wellbeing should be discussed and taught in schools?

Please share how you talk to your children about their emotional wellbeing and you will be entered into a prize draw to win a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list).

Thanks

MNHQ

Terms and conditions apply

Definitely, I want my ds to know that it is important to talk about how you are feeling and not bottle it up. We have open and honest discussions about how he is feeling and why he might be feeling that way so he can understand it too.

DC are fairly young (8yo and 7yo) but DS in particular does struggle with anxiety, low self-esteem, and a short temper

We spend a lot of time talking about feelings. About how we are all allowed to feel, that our feelings are valid and that it is ok to express them. That we need to name our actual feelings and talk to someone we trust about it sooner rather than later.

And alongside this we (DH and I) work hard at building both DC's resilience. In celebrating their achievements, in congratulating their hard work, and in recognising their wins

I think that there are huge pressures on our children today, which undoubtably has an impact on their mental health and emotional wellbeing.
I have always actively encouraged emotional literacy in my daughter. Recognising our emotions is an important first step in managing them, I do approach the topic with her, but she is also able to initiate a conversation to tell me how she is feeling now.

Is it not taught in schools? If it isn’t, then it definitely should be!

I have two girls who aren't afraid to talk about how they feel. I would say that the eldest is very sensitive, but they like to sit down and have a cuddle and a chat before bed. They will tell me their worries so I hope they keep confiding in me, even if its trivial.

I talk to my daughter about this and we have open communication. From a young age I have always answered her questions honestly and as simply as possible and it has meant that she has never been too shy to ask anything or speak about any issue. There is some bullying in her school and it is important to me that she knows how to identify others being bullied and how to deal with the issue.

Yes I do encourage them both lots

I try and keep a look out for problems have an open door policy :)

We as a family have had a lot to deal with over the past five years. Not as much as some, I know. I have two children, an 8 year old girl and a five year old boy. I have had both my parents pass away (I am 36), my son is on the spectrum awaiting genetics test results for Noonan Syndrome. My girl especially has had her mental health tested quite a few times in the past five years.

We are very honest with her, we have to be as she has to often come with me to appointments with our son, that has made her grow up more than what I like but it has made her so kind hearted and the best sister my son could have and the best daughter I could have.

We talk about her mental health a lot, we make sure that she is OK. I can often tell when she isn't right and we do things to make her feel good. Be it a special bath bomb in her bath, a trip to the cinema, film night at home...anything that she likes and we can afford at the time.

She has a worry monster and a dream catcher in her room. She writes down her worries and the worry monster keeps them in his tummy until it is time to recycle the worries!

My mum dying was the worst time. That really broke her, she spent months worrying that we would die too and she said she wanted to die before we did. That really broke my heart but we talked about it, we got the school involved and together we helped her feel better and it has been two years next week since my mum died and my daughter is OK. She still has times when she gets upset over different things, she is very sensitive but we just help her as a family.

I struggle with anxiety, I have had depression too. At the moment I am very much worrying about the fact that I could of given my son Noonan Syndrome, the likelihood is that if he has it, I have it too. But I didn't know about the condition so that worry is fading.

I know it is very important to discuss mental health with your kids. I struggle talking to my son about it, he has meltdowns but we have worked out a way to make them shorter. I often speak to him about how he feels but because he has speech delay it makes it difficult but I make sure that he is loved, I make sure that they are both loved as they really are.

Absolutely we do. I feel it's really important. Children are exposed to so much so young these days that life can be quite harsh, so feel it vital. Just by talking it keeps the lines of communication open and you never know when this will be needed. I t helps keep children grounded and everything in perspective.

With my eldest, Yes. With my youngest, No.
The eldest has a lot of strong emotions, and feels things deeply, so with have lots of discussions about emotions, and how to deal with feelings.

It should be taught in schools and as much help you can give them at home.

Sharing stories of things that was difficult during our childhood & teens to show that parents might understand more than they think.

The tricky bit is talking about how everyone if different so something that helps one person may or may not work for others. Trying out different ways to cope is part of the adventure. Sometime we feel our role is to make our children do things but sometimes we should just enjoy being with them and listen to them.

I have 4 youngsters all very different. 3 of them talk to me and one never did. I think we have have all changed and developed in our attitudes towards mental health issues over the course of our family life. but it definitely helps to have an open heart to whatever they come to you with. I used to be really stuck in my ways but I have learnt that that helps no one.

DS is still very young, but I try to explore different emotions with him in an age-appropriate way. When he sometimes says things like 'I'm sad' I try to listen to why he feels like that (there's often no apparent reason) and rather than dismiss him gently explain that we all feel sad at times and that this is ok.
Reading this thread with interest as I really want to get this right as DS grows up, especially as his dad isn't particularly demonstrative (has the emotional depth of a teaspoon) and I've struggled with depression and anxiety in the past.
I think maintaining an open dialogue will be key

Yes we talk about mental health and how to deal with negative people, I am however a great believer in sticks and stones and not everyone is going to like you, move on and let it go

We talk about theirs, and also our own

I always talk to the children about how they are feeling, have they got anything they want to share with me. I try to keep it light hearted though so it never scares them.

I have an MSc in Positive Psychology which studies the factors which enable people (and children) to thrive. Resilience was a biggy in our studies and there are now many charities who work with schools to teach techniques such as mindfulness to help with relaxation and exam nerves. As a parent, the best thing you can do is just 'be there', be in the moment when you speak with them and listen to them properly. I have tried out alot of PP techniques on my 15 yr old son over the years and he seems to be faring well but still gets exam nerves! Kids need to experience failure, need to play outdoors with their peers (not in organised activity) and need less school/homework from such an early age. Watch the Decline of Play by Peter Gray on youtube and see how we have created the stress our children now all suffer from. V sad although we have the potential to change it.

And in answer to the questions above, of course exams and entrance tests create stress. Seems like a stupid question to me.

I believe that open and honest communication is key. I regularly talk to my son about stress, anxiety and general emotional health. He is encouraged to discuss anything with me but equally I understand that he may not wish to discuss with his Mum and Dad so we steer him towards his Uncle who he see's as a role model

Mh is a very big topic here... my eldest daughter struggles to such an extent that she is under cahms and is only just going back to school a few hours a week. Ive really worried not only about her but for my younger daughter as she has witnessed episodes. I make a point of asking how they are everyday, i tell them its ok to have a sad day, but find one thing that was good about it. Learn your strengths, stand up for yourself, no one has the right to make you feel bad about you. Be confident in yourself, your voice matters. And always i love you. I never refuse a hug, even the 14 yr old comes up to me randomly. You have to be their biggest supporter no matter whay. (Trust me we have been close to breaking point many times) im glad its talked about more, schools need to have someone for the kids to talk to. I beleieve mh is more important then grades.

We do talk about it! My girls are teens and they live in a very difficult world these days. We've always talked about feelings when they were younger but as they got older, my eldest developed severe anxiety which she still battles with. She's not open to counselling as she says it makes her feel worse but she is doing well at school, so well I do wonder if the anxiety drives her? I do worry about my youngest though, it's coming up to a year last Dec when a friend of hers committed suicide and then 2 weeks later another boy at their school took his own life, so we do talk openly about emotional well being and I remind them that I'm here if they need to talk. Let's keep our children safe xx

Yes we do - my son is such an emotional little boy, and we are trying to teach him ways to deal with his emotions. We’ve gone through a tough time as a family and I worried about the impact it would have on him, but thankfully there is a wonderful counselling programme at his school that he has been able to use and it was a blessing! x