Say NO to bullying with Andy Day and his brand new band Andy and the Odd Socks - share your thoughts on dealing with bullies: chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

We have been asked to find out about your childs’ experiences of bullying and to hear your tips on dealing with bullies by Andy Day and the Anti Bullying Alliance. Andy is one of the most popular faces on children’s TV as a presenter on Cbeebies.

Andy, with his band ‘Andy and the Odd Socks’, are also patrons of the Anti-Bullying Alliance and next week (13-17 Nov) they will be encouraging primary schools up and down the country to take part in Anti-Bullying Week. It's a cause Andy is very passionate about and is one of the reasons he formed the band. He believes that music is not only great entertainment for children, but is also a great way to inspire them to be accepting of each other and to show everybody is different in their own way.

Andy and the Odd Socks say “we are all about putting across a positive, inclusive fun message via our new song ‘Unique’ which has been chosen by the charity to support their message this year of ‘All Different, All Equal’”.

See below for the video for 'Unique' by Andy and the Odd Socks.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance say “the aim of the campaign is help young children understand that everyone is different and to celebrate that from an early age. The main focus of the week is the introduction of ‘Odd Socks Day’ (the official Odd Socks Day is Monday 13th November (but schools can still take part and hold an Odd Socks Day at any time)), whereby Primary Schools and their pupils are encouraged to wear odd socks for the day to promote individuality, being unique, a sense of self and awareness for the overall aim of the week....to say NO to bullying”.

So Andy and the Alliance would love to hear how you and your child have coped with bullies, any tips on avoiding being bullied and also your experiences and thoughts generally about bullying amongst primary school aged children.

Add your comment below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store of choice - from a list.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

PS If you have any questions about bullying, do join us on Monday 13 November at 11.00am where we will be Live on Facebook Live Andy Day and Lauren Segar-Smith of Kidscape

My child (aged 7 at the time) was actually part of a group of children instigating the bullying once at school, and I was brought in about it. It was very out of character for him and I was horrified and questioning myself as a parent. After a lot of thinking, instead of going in all guns blazing, I suggested he write a letter or apology to the child affected, buy him a sorry present from his money box and invite him over for tea. He came over for tea and ever since, the two have been brilliant friends and mine has not been even slightly involved with anything similar since (and hopefully won't again). At the time, I also showed him some videos on YouTube about some of the more serious consequences of bullying, and luckily I think the message sunk in vey quickly. Hopefully now, after experiencing bullying from the other side of the coin, if he was to see anybody being bullied, or be bullied himself, he would do the right thing and go to a teacher or come and tell me, since he really understands the severity of it now.

we havent had any major issues yet, but as we get closer to high school i do worry for my red haired little boy who wears glasses. i try to give him strength and positivity to stand up to anyone

I teach my children to take the higher road , and infect be kind. Kill them with kindness as they say

I've always been open to the kids and said some people can be unkind and make you feel unhappy but if anything worries them or upsets them then they can always tall to me. I'm not good at talking neither is my daughter we have a home made post box called the talking box if she has any questions or worries and don't feel like she can approach me then write it down I feel I have more time to think on situations before being put on the spot and going mad unnecessarily as I was a volunteers for a charity of children with disabilities so has always grown up around a mixture of people who are different. They are aware that everyone is different and it's not ok to upset someone else.
I think a must is always let your kids know that you won't like everyone in life but you have to deal with it and keep unhelpful opinions to themselves

I would like to add that I think it has a good impact when you are a positive role model thinking about how your behaviour and attitude can rub of onto the kids. Not saying this is every case but some

We are quite lucky as our local school (age 4-5 to 9) is a village school and everyone knows each other. To date there has not been any bullying, the only times someone has really been upset is by way of not being included in a group, but this is soon picked up by the teachers, spoken too by saying to them how would you feel about the situation if if were you that was not involved and it is soon remedied. I think if there was a case and it was reported back to the parents by the children then it would be quickly sorted. A lot different from my time in school in London! :)

My kids are homeschooled because I don't think schools do enough these days to stop bullying. They have no power and allow it to happen. It effects childrens grades and moral. My brother had his front teeth knocked out by a bully smashing his head on the stairs in drama class. The teacher saw it happen. They suspended the kid for 2 days and then he was back at school. The kid was boasting about having two days off. My dad went to the police and was told that as he was a minor he would just get a warning. I feel there should be stricter and better processes in place - bring back the Cane. Lol. My other sister experienced bullying by the internet. Whatever happened at school would be brought home and continued over the internet. She didn't want to leave her room. Social media can make things worse.

Having been bullied as an older child it is something that I am very aware of. My son has mentioned a concerning incident a couple of times and I made the school aware and it was dealt with. Standing up to them is easy to say but sometimes not that easy to do. Having friends who help support you is great and trying not to show if you feel hurt takes the wind out of their sails.

My talking to my kids and having them have an adult that's not close family and separate from the situation that they feel safe talking to about anything.

It's an awful gut wrenching feeling knowing your child is upset by bullies, We have been here in my house, you have to make sure your child knows that it's not them at fault, that they have not caused it and the person with the issues is the bully. We have only had to deal with verbal bullying however if there is violence involved I would strongly recommend your child takes a martial art / self defence class, like Taekwondo, not to fight but just to protect themselves.
You have to get your child to rise above them, don't hit back or retaliate, when a bully throws verbal abuse try to respond with, "yes your right" or "so what" these lines have very little further come back.

I've always told my eldest little girl who is only 4 years old to say STOP if one of the other kids does something to upset her, if that fails then go to a teacher and tell them. After school one day she had told me one of the boys pushed her and she did what I said, but he didn't stop so she told the teacher which put a stop to this, he's not pushed her ever since.

My first daughter was bullied very badly in a church school no less . It was very difficult time. I was bullied terribly at school and this effected me for a very long time and still might an an impact on me.i was keen for it not to effect mt daughters confidence or creativity. I made sure that my daughter received positive messages from me as my own mum made suggestions that somehow the bulling was my fault. I visited the school and spoke with the parents of some of the kids involved but not the main bully. I encouraged my daughter my find her voice and tell people how she felt she wrote a poem and sent it to the head who read it out in assembly without naming my daughter . i invited some different groups of girls to our home so my daughter formed friendship groups and the bully could see she had support and wasn't isolated.the kids them self formed an anti bullying campaign The bully continued to bully others until she was finally excluded,

making sure your child is able to come and talk to you and always be checking in with them about school so you can catch it early

Some children may find it hard to talk about it and may not respond well to direct questioning. You may not want to ask them straightaway if they are being bullied, but rather ask questions about their day, see if their behaviour has changed, how they’re feeling and give them time and opportunities to talk to you about it. If your child has difficulties in explaining what is happening to them and/or communication difficulties, you may need to use different ways to communicate with them.

i was bullied terribly at school and my daughter was when she was younger. i strongly feel this issue needs to be addreessed more and that parents should be "punished" for thier childs actionss. i dont believe a parent can say they dont know whats going on and i feel that bullies are picking things up from the parents or have some deeper issues and these need to be addressed

Always make sure they know they can speak up! Abbie had a bully at Primary & I went to the school, but at Secondary she’s standing her own (after I gave some tips) ... Never show they frighten you, always look them in the eye, don’t give them a reaction. It’s working at the moment

always stand upto bullies, they will move on

We have been lucky and have only ever had low level falling out sort of bullying that is soon resolved. I have always talked about bullying both in terms of not being a bully and not accepting being bullied but in reality I really don't know how I would handle it. When children are very young I would probably try to make contact with the bullies parents and encourage a play date where I could encourage a friendship or at least a mutual respect through lots of fun activities and maybe a little philosophical chat - I suspect I'm being idealistic!

Thank goodness my children have not been bullied, if they had I would have gone to school to report the bullying immediately , its important to always discuss with your child that they must talk and discuss any worrying issues at school

Luckily our DD hasn't been the subject of such nastiness, but it's always a worry about it ever happening in the future. We have therefore recently arranged for her to start some self-defence classes to build her confidence and hopefully nip any such instances in the bud should it happen in future.

From my child's behaviour I suspected that my son was being bullied, I :-

Found a quiet time when I won't be disturbed to talk the different types of bullying to try to get him to open up. I asked if he had ever experienced or witnessed any of the examples and encouraging him to share.

I did not make assumptions or interrupt his talking. I put my emotions aside and listened.

I made it clear that the bullying was not his fault and praised him for being brave enough to tell me. I told him that now I know what is happening, together we can sort it out.

I told him that we need to talk to the school who pride themselves in having the Princess Diana Anti Bullying award, but said if there is anything which they did not want to happen - it wouldn't..

I wanted to storm into school 'all guns blazing' as I was so upset, I told the head what had happened, the relentless name calling, taking and hiding of clothes at PE time, etc etc. The head listened, the class teacher was summonsed, the school arranged counselling for my son, and the bully, who must have had his own insecurities. Things changed - I gradually saw my son change the the little boy he used to be. We don't talk about it now, but I know if he wanted to tell me anything, he can now. If I not have stepped in, and the school acted so promptly, I dread to think what kind of life my son would have had.

My great niece is only 4 & has only just started school in September so has had no experience of bullying yet. I was bullied as a child & throughout my whole school experience because I was a good pupil who always did her homework & didn't swear or smoke. The other kids used to bully me into giving them my homework as they couldn't be bothered to do theirs but in the longrun it didn't do them any good because they all failed their exams while I passed with flying colours. I hated being bullied but I still enjoyed my school years as I loved to study.

Make your kids strong. Take them to see the film Wonder or read the book to them. Talk everyday about how unkindness affects people.

My daughter hasn't been bullied and I think there is a fine line between being "bullied" and having something rude said about you - they are NOT the same thing! That being said, we have talked about bullying and I have always told her to tell someone, not to keep it to herself.

DD is 7 in Year 3 - she says some Y5 girls are unkind to her and her friends. I don't know if this is enough to warrant a mention to her teacher or not but I am v sensitive to DD when she mentions it and encourage her to tell her teacher each time it happens.