Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

[AmeliaMumsnet]

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

Pre: I will buy only organic foods and cook fresh meals to freeze in bulk
Post: Ooh look, you can get 10 jars for a fiver - bargain!

paragon of joyful sweetness...
nerves are gone, the nights are sleepless
come again the vision happy...
help me change the hundredth nappy

I had no expectations which was fortunate really because reality was excruciatingly hard at times. I struggled through and tried not to keep thinking about the hard times or those times when I felt I perhaps could have done better. I just felt blessed to have a lovely baby.

Thought oh my very own baby doll girl. Pink dresses curls in her hair no messy hands like fantasy land! Then ooh it changed everyone wanted to hold her like no! Take her out for the day like no! Denim dungarees like no! Sticking glueing hand printing like no! Had to give in I was exhausted x

Before - They will only eat fresh home made healthy foods
After - I'm so busy nowaday's where never out of McDonalds

What I thought: I would exclusively breastfeed
What happened: I developed mastitis and was in agony so swapped to bottle feeding from five weeks.

What I thought: I would never tolerate fussy eating and my kids would eat anything from olives to hummus, curries to tapas
What happened: my 1st and 3rd children were/are the fussiest eaters known to man, and if I can manage just to get some form of food down them, it's an achievement.

What I thought: that having children would just fit in round our existing lives and nothing much would change
What happened: life as we knew it came to an end the minute I had baby number 1! Not that that's a bad thing per se, but my idealistic images of taking little ones along to festivals and on city breaks was soon laid to rest!

I could go on all day - it's easy to plan and imagine how things will be when you haven't yet met your child, but you soon find out that they make the rules!!

I thought babies would sleep!

I thought i'd have time for playing video games while she was sleeping. The reality was very different. She was always waking up so I could only play small bits here and there.

My children were going to be well-behaved and not whine, they would sit still at church etc. However my children whine constantly and have to have many time outs, I'm excitedly waiting for my niece to get a bit older so my brother gets to find out how hard it actually is...

I knew it was a 24/7 job but wow, I thought you got some breaks and me time when they played on their own! Oh no, they want constant attention, always making a mess and the chance of a bath or shower without someone calling mummy or entering the room is zero!

It was going to be easy after the birth BUT I hadn't factored in the relentless tiredness that's seemed to last weeks and make everything such hard work!

Before birth I had my ideal plan of hypnobirthing and it being so calm and wonderful. I was going to go to the midwife led unit and have a fabulous water birth. However things didn't go to plan as a growth scan showed that my baby was small and would need to be monitored during birth. I went straight to the labour ward where I was asked whether I wanted induction or c-section! However, I went into labour naturally that same afternoon and my son was born the next morning on his due date, my little 4lb 15oz gorgeous boy :)

I didn't have lots of ideals about the baby, I knew that wouldn't be easy, but I did imagine myself as some kind of earth mother - all floaty dresses and natural make-up. Ha. I'd be lucky to have the time or energy to even dress!

I would be able to do the night feeds easy as I had worked night shifts for years, not easy at all!!!!
I would breast feed for 12 months, I lasted 6 weeks!!
I would make all homemade food, jars and sachets were more often in the changing bag!!!
We are getting there 9 years later.

I imagined my post birth life like a picture from a lifestyle magazine. I would walk around the park in my gym gear and cook and bake whilst the baby peacefully sleeps in her moses basket. Nightime would be a blissful routine of stories and lullabies followed by quiet night.

Reality was that instead of a hot mama I was a hot mess. My body was havoc and the baby hated the moses basket. And napping. And she would wake up multiple times in the night, leaving me exhausted, sleep deprived and addicted to hot choc and biscuits at 5am. Or slabs of cheese at 11pm. Takeaway boxes piled up next to the sink because cooking was utopia.

8 months in, things have improved a bit. Just.

I bought all fancy wraps and baby carriers for my little one. They were all advertised so well, and it seemed a very 'mumsy' thing to do. It looked like a great way to be close to your little one. In reality they never worked for me, or the little one.. Could never get them to sit right without breaking my back !

Pre-birth ideal: I am going to go for a nice leisurely walk with the baby every day!
Post-birth reality: I have too much laundry and housework to even make it out of the house today.

Pre-birth ideal: I can't wait to snuggle up on the sofa with my baby and partner.
Post-birth reality: Baby always wants to be walked around the house and is never happy sitting still.

Pre-birth ideal: I am going to make fresh purees for my baby every day and have dinner cooked for my partner when he comes home from work.
Post-birth reality: Ella's Kitchen is one of my favourites on the Ocado saved list, and I start cooking dinner when my partner comes home and relieves me from parenting duties for the next hour or two.

Pre-birth ideal: Romantic vision of a beautiful, bright-eyed family.
Post-birth reality: Struggled to function day to day, as baby woke up hourly at night between 4 - 7 months.

I thought I'd be travelling the world with baby in a sling....

Reality was that I was lucky if I was up and dressed by midday.

Breastfeeding all the way

I planned on going back to work. Had hours halved had back to work date on calendar child minder arranged. I really believed I was going back to work and was going to be a working mum but when day came I couldn't leave my boy he changed my life. I now have 2 children and they are my world.

Before - naively I thought baby would feed peacefully for maybe half an hour and then sleep soundly in her Moses basket for a couple of hours.
After - baby feeds for maybe an hour and a half, I then spend about an hour trying to get her to sleep before I try putting her in her Moses basket, where she might sleep for anywhere between 15 mins and maybe 3 hours if we are lucky!

Oh my! I can easily say lots on this subject! I thought I would be a better mum than what I am that's for sure. I did set my expectations quite low as we have no family here to support us. I thought I would be a breastfeeding, cloth nappy, cook everything from scratch mum...ha! Who was I kidding! I have had two children and yes they were both breastfed for two months for the first, two and a half weeks for the second, cloth bummed for the first for most but my son had better ideas - leaky leaky!

In terms of cooking everything from scratch - both the little monkeys didn't like my cooking!! They do now at almost seven and three.

I also had set myself ideal goals of getting them potty trained well before they started preschool - a big fail! My first, my girl, didn't want to until she was three and a half and no matter what I tried, she refused. She was dry from day one apart from the odd accident here and there.

My son, at three and four months, doesn't have a clue when he is weeing so there you go, no chance. He does have kind of special needs so I will be patient with that one...he doesn't talk for a start so that won't help!

I got stressed about sleep with my first, she had reflux so sleep was important when I had it, I thought I would be able to solve the sleep issue with the second, even with him having reflux - both due to a milk intolerance..nope I spent two years up with him. Long-term colic!

Best thing to set your expectations lower than you think and then everything will be just fine. You may surprise yourself and everything or it mostly will go well, if not you are still a good mum regardless. Your child is surviving isn't it?! ;)

I would exclusively breastfeed - ha ha, I had no idea what a nightmare that would be with DD1. I managed it with DD2 so I know it's possible but it just wasn't with DD1.

Pre-birth ideal 1:

A vision of me in labour sitting happily, cross legged on my bed at home (or field of wildflowers), gently "Omming" while my partner rubs my back, clearly in awe of my incredible birthing skills and how in tune with mother nature I am. (Not to mention how perfectly glowy and groomed I look)

Reality: Me curled up on the floor in my mums living room screaming my face off. Flash forward to me repeatedly throwing myself on the floor at every contraction to shove my face into the desk fan, my only source of comfort, while my partner tries (somewhat half-heartedly, after 14 hours) to reassure me that I can in fact do this, despite my protestations to the contrary. Followed by a botched canula spirting blood all over the room and dramatic, hollywood movie style finale with everyone screaming "PUSH" at me.

Pre-birth ideal 2:

Me happily holding my beautiful baby for the first time, studying their face and feeling like I've seen it a thousand times before, already. Feeling a rush of love so strong it makes me weep, and feeling similar for the man across the room who went on this journey.

Post-birth reality:

Exactly that :)

journey with me*