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MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

281 replies

AmeliaMumsnet · 16/01/2017 11:58

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

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Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
KnottedAnchorChief · 25/01/2017 13:50

Oh gosh, the vision of me reading to my children in bed. I love books, stories, reading and even making up stories and so I looked forward to doing this with my children.

Reality is that bedtimes are fraught and often very drawn out, before they even get in bed. I'm tired out from a long day. Kids are grumpy and don't want to settle. Also they choose the random non-story books (like annuals, puzzle books, reproductive system of sharks type fact books) that I don't particularly want to read! Grrr!

misshoohaa · 25/01/2017 14:07

I think pre birth you are overwhelmed with the kind of parent you are going to be, which is organised, engaged, possibly strict with discipline and all of these practical ideas of how your kids will be raised.
Then they are born, and you soon realise that they are their own little characters and all the plans you have for them are all well and good, but they are their own little personalities and you love them for it.
The emotion and love you have for you children is nothing you expect when you are pregnant!

ellash · 25/01/2017 16:24

Pre-birth: NO dummy/soother. I didn't want my baby sucking away on one of them and never being able to give it up.

Post-birth: 1 week in, baby crying like mad. Me to partner: "give him that bloody dummy it's the only thing that calms him" (this was during nappy changes - he hated them.
Now... he loves his dummy! 😩

funkypyjamas · 25/01/2017 19:49

We were going to renovate our entire house once we got through the first few weeks and "everything settled down".
Four years later one room has been painted. I think we must have the only house in our road that has gone down in value Grin.

thekiwibex · 25/01/2017 20:36

Pre- and post-childbirth - that my hypnobirthing practice would get me through it. I lasted as long as I possibly could, but eventually broke down and begged for an epidural!

Pre- and post-parenting - that I already knew what sleep deprivation felt like!

farmergirl29 · 25/01/2017 21:13

Pre birth: I would loose all the baby weight quickly by eating healthy and getting out each day, we would get the baby into a good routine quickly, we wouldn't let her watch tv, she would not be allowed anything unhealthy like sugar until at least 5.

Reality: It has taken me a year of hard work to loose the weight and I dream of cake on a daily basis. It took until she was over a year to get her to sleep through the night and the only routine consisted of regular crying about why she wouldn't just sleep, tv is her best friend, biscuit is her favourite word.

pfcpompeysarah · 25/01/2017 21:57

Before - I am going to have a nice natural birth, no meds for me, I am going to soldier through it in a stoic fashion.
After - How many meds did I have again, the pain to end all pains!!

Before - I am not going to give my child a dummy.
After - Oh lord for the millionth time where has the dummy gone, he won't stop crying and I need to calm him down!! And me!!

Catmadroo · 25/01/2017 22:10

I did keep my little one from watching tv until he was 2 but failed to keep the tv off at tea times!! We have movie nights with tv on eating on front of tv and now tv is left on every time admittedly in other room butbhe doesn't stay at table for long

like7 · 25/01/2017 22:26

Where d I start...
A trivial one... I saw someone holding a baby wearing a bib that said 'Tuesday' on it and whatever day it was, it certainly wasn't Tuesday. I remember thinking that I could never get so disorganised that I would go out of the house with my baby wearing the 'wrong' day bib! 3 babies later it still makes me smile and realise that I really had no idea what was important and what it would really be like some days!!

Chippednailpolish · 26/01/2017 15:26

I was sure that my children would not have a dummy and traditional wooden toys only. The house is now full of plastic toys requiring a huge amount of batteries and my DS2 was given a dummy at 5 days old!!!

21Catherine21 · 26/01/2017 15:40

I once read about a man who had several theories on child rearing, but no children !
Later he had several children and absolutely no theories!

I'm with him Smile

Tonkatol · 26/01/2017 18:13

I think one of my pre-conceived (literally) ideals echos that of many mums -. I wasn't going to bottle feed or give my baby a dummy - was in full agreement with the "breast is best" view. I did try really hard to breastfeed; it didn't help that my midwife was on long-term sick leave and so those first home visits by a midwife meant I had a different midwife each time and each midwife had her own idea on the best way to breastfeed. I struggled so much trying to feed and became so sore that I had to use nipplesheields. After my baby was still struggling to put on weight at three weeks, I ended up breast and bottle feeding until she was 12 weeks old, at which point I gave up and put her on a bottle.

Tonkatol · 26/01/2017 18:18
  • sorry, also meant to say that I bought dummies for my first baby before she was born. For the first few days, I stuck to my resolution and didn't give her a dummy; my husband kept asking if i wanted him to get one for her and I was firmly against it Eventually, one particularly bad evening I relented and allowed my husband to give her a dummy - she loved her dummy and had one until she was 2.5 years old!
lolapops1 · 26/01/2017 20:47

That breastfeeding would be easy - babys face was mangled from forceps so nope did not work.
That I would not give a dummy - kept til the age of 3!
That I would stop giving milk at night at recommended time - again 3 years!
That I would be organised - pfffft!
That I would get support from loved ones - no comment!

However it was all that good that I done it a second time,breastfeed,no dummy,still has milk at night-time,still unorganised....

FrenchieMum2Be · 26/01/2017 21:25

I was convinced that I'd be expressing my milk so daddy could do some night feeds and I could have some sleep... My daughter dodn't take to the bottle so I gave up expressing pretty quickly! Much easier for me to just breastfeed baby.

missSonic · 26/01/2017 22:36

While happily pregnant I had planned my dream life and career around being at home hanging out with two wonderful kids.... before long I realised motherhood isn't actually much fun at all, and plans for number 2 were swiftly shelved. Damn those glossy baby magazines making it look so perfect!

sweir1 · 26/01/2017 22:46

That the house would be tidy before the homebirth - never happened!

sadiewoohoo · 26/01/2017 23:38

Up until I was about 7 months pregnant I had a water birth in mind with gas and air. Reality gave me an epidural and an emergency c section!!

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 27/01/2017 03:25

I intended to keep running throughout pregnancy and get straight back to it after giving birth. I was going to get up early and run without any problems. I was definitely going to stay fit.
In reality I stopped running at 4-5 months and took months to get back to it. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning a lot of the time.

Minty6789 · 27/01/2017 09:20

Pre birth I thought I'd go with the flow. I'd try to breastfeed but wouldn't be bothered if I had to top up or formula feed.

The reality was days of sobbing when DS had lost weight between days 5 and 10 and I was advised to mixed feed him. No one told me that with the massive amount of love you also get a massive amount of guilt!

liamell · 27/01/2017 11:06

I thought that I would have all this time on my hands for bedtime stories (we manage one a week)

I thought I would give the perfect diet to my child....sometimes i cant be bothered to cook after work all day and we pile in the car in search of Chicken Nuggets.

I bribe. With sweets...with trips out....with new toys. Anything for peace and quiet.

I let them sleep in my bed.

All the things i vowed i would never do :)

Pigeonpea · 27/01/2017 11:24

I thought it would be like everyone says - baby will sleep and breastfeeding will be natural - turns out that if you have a poorly baby neither of these sweeping statements are true and getting any form of help from Primary Care Givers is impossible - thank goodness for Fairy GodMother Google who got us to the best Consultant, who in turn helped our little one, which made life more manageable!
Ultimately, I promised myself to always listen to my 'gut instinct' and I still do - It's not wrong!

andymorris · 27/01/2017 11:48

a good idea is to watch teletubbies ,, great for kids

TiredAndRavenous · 27/01/2017 23:33

I would do daily sensory/learning activities and plan thing for the week ahead - and as I'd have a lot of free time when the babies nap, I'd learn to speak Spanish

Reality- some days I don't have time to brush my hair or get out of pjs let alone use turn the laptop on Blush

EasterRobin · 28/01/2017 09:26

I thought she'd curl up in bed with us in the mornings and we'd all snooze together like I (thought I) did with my parents when I was small. Turns out being in mama's bed is very exciting and involves jumping up and down, flailing limbs and laughter (or crying when these things are stopped). Best I can hope for is that she falls asleep while lying on my chest and face, and doesn't fart too much.