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MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

281 replies

AmeliaMumsnet · 16/01/2017 11:58

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
mummy23xxx · 23/01/2017 10:04

Before: Absolutel no sausage rolls from Greggs for toddlers in buggies, pastry everywhere - I was always so disgusted.

After: Whilst shopping with 3 under 5year olds. I was the first in Greggs at 10am for 3 sausage rolls as it was the only thing which would keep all 3 quiet for an hour whilst I did my shopping in peace.

God Bless Greggs - and their Sausage Rolls !! :D

muppet1501 · 23/01/2017 10:29

I wanted to breastfeed with my daughters but i was unable to due to not producing enough milk. I also thought i was going to cope really well as a single mum with no4 but it was a lot more challenging that i thought. My other 3 were in a routine straight away feding every 4 hours and was a breeze. DD2 (no4) was every 2 hours, a light sleeper and cried all the time. This went on for a good 9 months. I was exhausted and none of my "friends" wanted to help and her dad had moved to another country.

footdust · 23/01/2017 10:30

Having a baby wont change me, the baby will just have to fit in around my life'
hahahahahahahahahahaha - the joke was on me

hayleyjw29 · 23/01/2017 10:38

i wasnt going to have the epidural, everything would be fine...WRONG! ended up having epidural resulting in a traumatic forceps delivery and a 10lb 8oz!!!! baby!! also had 2 blood transfusions and was in hospital for 10 days after birth! ...and im due again in 10 weeks!! lets hope this one is easy x

olivia280177 · 23/01/2017 10:44

I find it more stressful than I ever imagined in respect of trying to keep them safe. I worry about them all the time when they're not with me.

gaptoothuk · 23/01/2017 11:05

I thought I would breastfeed my children and both times it proved to be very difficult and extremely stressful so they ended up bottle feeding. When it came to weaning I thought they would eat nothing but healthy vegetables and milk and water, fast forward a couple of years and all they want to eat is spaghetti hoops and biscuits! Help!

clarem100 · 23/01/2017 11:16

we wouldnt watch tv, no screen time, no shouting, no eating on the floor....too many other to mention!

beeelaine · 23/01/2017 11:23

aaah i was never a doll playing kinda girl - more of a tom boy, i was worried i would not be all this magical maternal. I did a birth plan all it said was no epidural and no ceasarian - well i ended up having to have both because the baby didnt want to come out. Turned out it was a boy too, instead of the girl I expected - but you know what i wouldnt change a thing, it wasnt an easy birth, but i got my beautiful baby and while i was there drugged up and not knowing what day of the week it was there was this perfect baby with a perfectly round head not all squished like most babies heads are.

Didnt need to worry about the maternal thing it just all came, no one was more surprised than me, and whatever I had planned in my head turned into just "going with the flow" and "lets see what happens" - he is 15 now and has more sense than me! You can plan all you like, but life is just not like that and sometimes its for the loveliest of reasons.

jandoc · 23/01/2017 11:30

I think most of the things that I thought were going to be so cosy and easy have turned out to be way harder than I perceived

phillie1 · 23/01/2017 11:31

how i thought they wouldnt change our lives and they would fit in around us!

littlemonkeyz · 23/01/2017 11:45

Before 'Yeah, I think I'm going to be Supermum for sure'.
After 'Yeah I think I'll make it through the day for sure'.

iut044 · 23/01/2017 12:21

Before: no TV
After: watches TV all the time

sarah861421 · 23/01/2017 12:47

It was 20 years ago, but nothing changes. I planned a normal boring birth, with recovery time afterwards. I ended up with an emergency caesar, and my father died 2 weeks before the birth. SOooo, I ended with planning a funeral, a devastated mother staying with me, recovering from a major operation, and acute mastitus. Oh well. he's 21 now, and all is forgiven

debbiew21 · 23/01/2017 12:52

How long have I got? The main two things were:

  1. I knew life would change massively but didn't figure how badly I would adapt to the change. I was ready for all the things that motherhood would bring but thought I'd take to it like a duck to water.
  2. I thought DH would actually help out once in a while instead of continuing to lead his pre-fatherhood life without me!
  3. (I know I said two but this is an important one) I THOUGHT THE DAMN BABY WOULD SLEEP ONCE IN A WHILE!
OK, rant over. They're fab now they're teenagers and even DH is more or less out of the doghouse...
feefeegabor · 23/01/2017 12:56

I wanted to give birth in the birthing pool with candles. Unfortunately, after being in labour for 26 hours, that didn't happen.

jlwells1986 · 23/01/2017 13:05

I envisioned plenty of notice before labour - almost like a warning so i could make sure i was prepared. However of course neither times did this happen. I dealt with the pain well but still its not how i imagined it to be. Then followed by lots of sleepless nights and the strain it puts onto a relationship is not what i imagined. However once my kiddies started sleeping through the night, things got easier. I used to always say i wouldn't let my kids have sweets, that they would never spend time on iPads and so on. I can officially say i have never stuck to this haha. Im not pregnant with my third child and this time i still though everything would go to plan, however so far nothing has gone to plan. Baby is currently breech so looking at a caesarean for birth which is so far from my plan that i terrified. Pregnancy, birth and bringing up children is never how we think it would be x

vonniebab2 · 23/01/2017 13:21

I was not going to allow our children to come into our bed, within two weeks of birth it was three in a bed!

stefalfie11 · 23/01/2017 13:28

Before: would never give my children sweets to keep them quiet or as a reward
After: DD throwing a tantrum in the supermarket me: "if you're quiet and stop shouting then you can have some chocolate buttons"!

Marg2k8 · 23/01/2017 13:34

I was going to use cloth nappies until I discovered how much easier disposables were.

I was hoping to get dressed every morning. The reality was that often by lunchtime, I had not managed to have a wash or get dressed.

gamerwidow · 23/01/2017 13:37

I thought that nothing would really change and I'd just swan around carrying on as normal getting loads of stuff done on my maternity leave. Ha my non sleeping and no napping baby soon put paid to that fantasy.

blondie123c · 23/01/2017 13:40

Planned birth; water birth, peaceful, calming relaxing!

Reality; in the back of the car on the way to hospital! But saying that it was quick!

RACHELSMITH45 · 23/01/2017 14:06

Well I hoped for a water birth both times. However I was induced, pretty much confined to a bed... on a hormone drip with antibiotics to treat an infection then needed theatre both times for stitches.. not quite the birth I imagined but I couldn't complain at 5 hours each one and have two beautiful babes as a result!!

Annieg1234 · 23/01/2017 14:13

Before - i will prepare all my babys food from fresh wholesome products
After- a few processed jars dont hurt when your busy

Before- my baby will have a strict bedtime routine
After- my baby will wake me up throughout the night and will as toddlers end up jumping in my bed with me!

:)

Bechoole · 23/01/2017 14:22

A child that slept in the first few years would have been ideal :-)

nbaskers20 · 23/01/2017 14:26

We definitely had too high hopes for when we had children. We planned to be calm, relaxed, laid back parents. We agreed that we wouldn't shout a lot, we would be quite relaxed about rules apart from anything dangerous or that was important to teach them life lessons and generally we thought we would sort of be like the Topsy and Tim family on tv. Fast forward nearly 5 years with an over active son and 2 year old adventurous daughter. We were bonkers to have thought family life could be like that, when I watch Topsy and Tim know all I can think is how blinkin unrealistic is that. I have lost count of how much I have shouted, laid back (what does that even mean?) and we have so many rules we need a rule dictionary.