Funny things - good and bad - you'd only know about if you're a parent: share with Arla Big Milk for a chance to win a £300 Love2Shop voucher - NOW CLOSED!

[AngelieMumsnet]

Parenting is a joyful, but occasionally exasperating experience, with pride and happiness frequently intermingled with tears, tantrums and toddler meltdowns.

Arla Big Milk have asked us to find out about your funny (even if only in retrospect!) 'Oh God' moments of parenting - here’s what they say:

"Being a parent comes with its ups and downs and getting your little one the nutrients they need isn’t always easy. That’s why Arla Big Milk has been developed to specifically meet the needs of growing children from ages one to five*, enriched with essential nutrients to help support children’s growth and development as part of their balanced diet and healthy lifestyle. Arla Big Milk ‘helping your little ones become big ones’."

So what snigger-worthy woes or wonders have you experienced as a parent? Has your newborn ever 'surprised' you with an unexpected and well-aimed wee? Perhaps your child has channelled their inner Picasso with crayon marks all over the wallpaper? Have you ever had to brave a completely irrational meltdown at the supermarket that (in hindsight ) makes you laugh? Whatever your stories are, Arla Big Milk would love to hear them.

Everyone who comments on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky Mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher!

Thanks and best of luck,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

*The Department of Health recommends that children at the age of one move onto fresh whole cows’ milk and that their diets are supplemented with additional Vitamin, A, D and Iron

Ds had a meltdown in a Shopping Mall whilst on holiday in Florida. I was horrified inside but put on a brave face as people tutted and walked passed. However out of the blue a middle aged woman walked up to me and whispered in my ear " you are doing really well mum ", and swiftly walked away. I was so grateful for her encouragement, and have replicated her act to others since.

That even if I'm in a terrible mood , a lovely baby laugh solves everything!

Ive learnt to never trust quietness. Our daughter was upstairs, I thougth she was playing in her room. Upon going to look at her, I found her covered in talc and baby oil in the bathroom. The black bathroom carpet was white.

That first wee on the potty that was deliberate rather than lucky. It's like you've won a gold medal. The joy, the pride, the relief. I never thought I would be so physically and mentally invested in natural bodily functions.

I've learnt to be prepared for sleepless nights and no privacy, our daughter was scared of the dark and there were many nights we woke up to her standing at the bottom of our bed!

We love hearing the word poo or trump! We all end up sniggering and giggling!

When I redecorated/painted my living room one evening, which took an eternity, I went to bed......came down in the morning with my toddler son, went in the kitchen to get him breakfast to then find that whilst I'd had my back turned he had redecorated it again with his crayons!!
I had to wipe it all down which in turn removed all of the fresh paint..aarrggggghhhhh!
Had to re-paint it all over again!!

In the summer my little one decided to shout at the top of his voice "look mummy that lady has worms and snakes growing out of her legs"

I was mortified and wanted the ground to swallow me up....... the women was suffering with varicose veins, luckily she had a sense of humour and knew the feeling of children saying the most awkward things.

My dd had such a tantrum over a nappy change the other day and I stupidly thought I'd just change it anyway and deal with the consequences. So mid screaming and flailing I took off the pooey nappy and she stuck her hands in the poo and started flapping so I had to chase her round with wipes. In the end I had poo on me, the carpet and her and we both had to have a bath. I missed my midwife appointment because of it. I have never done that again I always wait for her to calm down now before I go near the nappy area...

Oh I've had so many moments along the way! Most memorable would be Sudocrem all over our windows and TV, scooping poop out of the bath on more times than I'd like to remember and the mother of all meltdowns in our supermarket which was so bad a little old lady had to intervene!

I was in a changing room trying on some clothes when my beloved daugher asks at the top of her voice why my boobs are saggy. Highly embarassing!

My eldest hit Nanny and Grandads telly with a wooden hammer...Only cost £1300!!!

The middle child painted himself completely blue with some very unfriendly paint. After he stopped being blue, he was red for weeks.

The baby...he is 3 months old and already thinks his own trumps are funny!

There is no hope with three boys!!!!

I've haven't checked if these are here already but...

You have to point it downwards when you put the nappy on! It took me three weeks to figure that out and a whole heap of washing. Why does no-one tell you?!

Cheap baby wipes are amazing.. They even get cherry cola out of a cream Arran sweater and therefore were never used again on DC's.

I learnt that children have no filter on their mouth. Some of my daughters delightful moments were asking an overweight woman 'why she was fat' a woman 'why she had red dots (spots) all over her face' and asking a man on the bus if he had a 'willie' mortified doesn't even cover it xx

Hilarious things that come out of an innocent child's mouth, eg. my son asking for a 'soft porn egg', when he'd mis-heard me call it a 'soft-boiled egg'

My daughter drew a picture on our newly painted wall. Right by the front door where everybody could see.

My 5 year old decided it was a great idea to open the fridge door and swing on the inside where the milk goes. Milk everywhere mixed in with glass and orange juice and the inside of the fridge door in pieces!

When my four year old started school he heard other children swearing and taught it to my two year old who then took great delight at shouting "willy wank" at the top of his voice every where we went.

I have realised, (Rather than learnt- should be obvious if brain wasn't fugged!) that when your 4 year old starts school and begins to write recognised words, your political leanings may come under scrutiny...
Violet's favourite word is "is" so she writes it repeatedly; on the wall, on the fleshy leaves of the aloe vera plant, the dog...

cringe worthy moments like when a larger lady with short hair asked me the time in the shop and 3 year old ds says (very loudly) 'what did the fat man want mummy?' aaaaggghhhhh

Your child will repeat inappropriate comments/actions in public. Or just get them plain wrong.

DD decided to show a relative my exercises. And tried to copy Jillian Michael's press ups. But got them back to front and did pelvic thrusts on the carpet for aforesaid relatives saying "This is how Mummy exercises."

Good thing - the look of utter love a baby gives to it's parent.

Sorry, that's not a funny good thing.

An older lady was looking at my DD in her pushchair and saying what a beautiful little girl she was, and wasn't she just adorable. DD then projectile vomited on the lovely stranger, and I was left mortified!

Once....and this IS true, we got onto a bus and my eldest son asked why the man two seats in front of us was dressed like a lady! I just tried to shhh him but he was very confused and asked several more times! I tried to apologise to the person but they were very understanding and just laughed it off saying its only natural for a child to ask questions! Obviously looking back at it now I can see that, but there and then at that moment in time I just wanted to have the ground open up and swallow me!! Children and their verbal diarrhoea!! :o

When in a well known DIY store lost my daughter only to find her performing on a toilet in the bathroom section and she wanted to know why there was no toilet paper!