Funny things - good and bad - you'd only know about if you're a parent: share with Arla Big Milk for a chance to win a £300 Love2Shop voucher - NOW CLOSED!

[AngelieMumsnet]

Parenting is a joyful, but occasionally exasperating experience, with pride and happiness frequently intermingled with tears, tantrums and toddler meltdowns.

Arla Big Milk have asked us to find out about your funny (even if only in retrospect!) 'Oh God' moments of parenting - here’s what they say:

"Being a parent comes with its ups and downs and getting your little one the nutrients they need isn’t always easy. That’s why Arla Big Milk has been developed to specifically meet the needs of growing children from ages one to five*, enriched with essential nutrients to help support children’s growth and development as part of their balanced diet and healthy lifestyle. Arla Big Milk ‘helping your little ones become big ones’."

So what snigger-worthy woes or wonders have you experienced as a parent? Has your newborn ever 'surprised' you with an unexpected and well-aimed wee? Perhaps your child has channelled their inner Picasso with crayon marks all over the wallpaper? Have you ever had to brave a completely irrational meltdown at the supermarket that (in hindsight ) makes you laugh? Whatever your stories are, Arla Big Milk would love to hear them.

Everyone who comments on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky Mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher!

Thanks and best of luck,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

*The Department of Health recommends that children at the age of one move onto fresh whole cows’ milk and that their diets are supplemented with additional Vitamin, A, D and Iron

The most shocking thing learnt was that poo comes in various colours!

Sloppy snotty kisses from a cuddly two year old is the best! Having the ability to make the world better with a big hug and calm words which miraculously stops tears falling down a sad face is the best feeling in the world.

my little one decided to down tools in the middle of the high street today which was fun

My son was just a week old and my husband was proudly showing my mother in law how well he could change his nappy. MIL was standing at the "business end" of baby watching this procedure. Just at the nappy was removed, my DS did an amazingly impressive bout of projectile pooping which shot up and out - all over mother in laws face and shirt :-0 I had to leave the room on hands and knees due to the amount I was laughing. Needless to say she was slightly less amused :-D

My little girl (2.7) comes out with some crackers which I would never ever have contemplated hear/talking about if I wasn't a mum:
"I like bogies" "Elsa has magic boobies" and while walking back from nursery "mummy wee wee comes out your nooey"

My six year old is going through the phase of asking me who many sleeps left, I am already being asked how many sleeps till Xmas! (yes really) how many more sleeps to Easter bunny, how many more sleeps have we got left in school, how many more sleeps till my birthday etc. I then get told "alright Love" when I start to get annoyed! who's the adult here!

walking round all day at work with a sticker on my bottom!

When I was potty training my daughter we were walking home from nursery one evening and she said she needed the toilet - and NOW! We were on a main road with grass verges so I thought she's just a tot, no-one will mind if I hold her up to have a wee. It was only when I had her hovering in mid-air that I suddenly realised...it wasn't a wee she needed. I was mortified.

poo incidents are legendary!

I have learnt that you can spend quite a while and a lot of effort preparing a nice meal, only for both DC to say 'I don't like that' while pulling yucky faces. It's so disheartening, especially when it happens for consecutive evenings in a row. AND I'm not a bad cook!

I've learnt that kids legs can get stuck in benches after DSs leg got stuck in one and I had to call the fire brigade to rescue him

My DS used to creep into the kitchen and wipe out the fridge - so we put a latch on the door with a padlock at the top. Image our wonder when we came down to various items stacked on top of each other and the latch unscrewed from the door so that he could gain access to the kitchen!

I have learned that there is no predicting what will trigger a tantrum. Two of our most memorable meltdowns were prompted by 1) not being allowed to assist in the construction of a drystone wall, and 2) a random dog failing to donate its tail to 2yr-old DD.

I had my son who was aged about three at the time in the back of the car on a trip to the suermarket a guy decided to speed past me and I let slip a rude word (T%#) about him, anyway we entered the store and I put my son in the trolley and we bagan shopping when my son suddenly shouted at this guy nest to me "Mummy Mummy It's That T%#" in the loudest voice possible LOL

My son asked me if I liked donuts - yes I said, buy why ask? I thought you did, he replied, because you are called Cheryl Donut........no sweetheart, my name is Cheryl Dawn. This really did tickle me!!

They loved helping me on a local paper round but oh my it took so long.

I've had drawings on a newly decorated hall and signed by my son, called him in to question him and turns out it was his sister who had wriitten his name

When I'm putting my makeup on my 3 year old daughter simply must put on her 'lips'. This means getting a chubby stick (blusher) and smearing it all around her mouth. In a rush I have forgetten that she's done it a few times and we've gone out with her looking like coco the clown!!

My little girl is a pure chatterbox. I was in tesco doing a big shop, browsing at the cheeses. I pretty much can zone out her innane adorable chatter! But then I realised she was telling someone she loved them. I looked up to see an old lady... Who was a bit dishevelled looking. She was looking suspiciously at dd as she said again - 'I love you! You are my favourite!' I just smiled at the - frankly - wild looking woman and manoeuvred my trolly around as I told dd to be quiet.

'No mummy don't go away!' Please stay beside the Gruffalo!'

I'm hoping the lady hadn't read the book and just thinks it was childish babble! Also - she did look like the Gruffalo!

My 3 year old comes out with some right crackers.
One of the most recent:

Since she started nursery, I do a weekly nit check on her.
Anyway, I'm sat there reading when she climbs up behind me and starts scratching/rubbing my head.
I ask her what she is doing and she replies...

"Just checking you haven't got nuts Mummy"

I learnt not to be smug when your child does a poo in the potty for the first time, specifically not leaving your DH in charge whilst you text your mum. Cue DD doing another poo on the rug, standing in it, walking it around followed by the dog who was eating it.

I have also learnt not to spend £200 on an outdoor playhouse when the indoor one I got in the sale for £1 is played with constantly and the other is not "because there are flies in it".

I realised just how "big" my teen son was when he gave his best friend the last of his pocket money so that his mate could get the bus home as his mum doesn't drive.

I have never felt as proud as then, knowing that he chose to help someone else then sort himself out.

Oh funny things. Sorry!

I fake tanned myself when DS was about 3 and he took one look at me and pronounced me "stripy like a fimble"

I spent the next week (in a decent summer) in long sleeves and trousers.

Also, teaching DS to count to five in German (eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf) and have him say in public "eins, zwei, drei, vier, foof mummy!"

Dd2 once did an explosive poo over her well dressed elderly great grandma, it was so so embarrassing! From then on I always passed her to people wrapped in a blanket :)

Dd ate most of a tub of sudocrem once. The lady at nhs24 assured me it's not toxic! Nightmare to get out of hair though..