Funny things - good and bad - you'd only know about if you're a parent: share with Arla Big Milk for a chance to win a £300 Love2Shop voucher - NOW CLOSED!

[AngelieMumsnet]

Parenting is a joyful, but occasionally exasperating experience, with pride and happiness frequently intermingled with tears, tantrums and toddler meltdowns.

Arla Big Milk have asked us to find out about your funny (even if only in retrospect!) 'Oh God' moments of parenting - here’s what they say:

"Being a parent comes with its ups and downs and getting your little one the nutrients they need isn’t always easy. That’s why Arla Big Milk has been developed to specifically meet the needs of growing children from ages one to five*, enriched with essential nutrients to help support children’s growth and development as part of their balanced diet and healthy lifestyle. Arla Big Milk ‘helping your little ones become big ones’."

So what snigger-worthy woes or wonders have you experienced as a parent? Has your newborn ever 'surprised' you with an unexpected and well-aimed wee? Perhaps your child has channelled their inner Picasso with crayon marks all over the wallpaper? Have you ever had to brave a completely irrational meltdown at the supermarket that (in hindsight ) makes you laugh? Whatever your stories are, Arla Big Milk would love to hear them.

Everyone who comments on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky Mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher!

Thanks and best of luck,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

*The Department of Health recommends that children at the age of one move onto fresh whole cows’ milk and that their diets are supplemented with additional Vitamin, A, D and Iron

Walking into the room to find my two boys and a box of corn flour!

One day I was walking home with my little boy, who was then three years old. There was another person walking on the pavement on the opposite side of the road to us and my son was chatting away to me, very loudly for all to hear. He started asking me lots of questions and said "Mummy! What is that girl called?"
I stayed quiet and tried to change the subject.
"Mummy! Who is that girl over there?"
"MUMMY! What is that girl's name?!?!"

Then he pointed to the man with the long hair on the opposite side of the road who clearly heard everything..

my son who is now 19 hates me telling this story but when he was a toddler about 20 months old i used to have to make sure i parked his buggy when shopping away from any ladies as he used to like to stroke legs many a time someone's heads snapped round to catch who was feeling her up at a shop till only to realise it was my toddler son thankfully he grew out of it. I also had to keep a close eye on when he needed the toilet as up till the age of 5 he thought it was completely acceptable to whip it out wherever he was when he needed a wee thankfully not the number 2 that he reserved for the toilet, he was a little rascal he also used to hide in clothes racks in shops if I took my eye off him for a second he would be gone and then the frantic searching in clothes racks would begin when you found him he would say I didn't come when you called as we were playing hide and seek he was such a happy chappy with no tantrums unlike my drama queen daughter that you couldn't stay cross with him for long with 5 kids there's never a quiet moment around here.

My youngest told me that men like me because I have pretty eyes which I though was great and said thank you, then he said also because you have big boobies and they are nice to snuggle into??? this was infront of the nursery people, so embarrassing

When my eldest was about 2 he got hold of my red nail varnish & painted himself & my bedroom with it. It amazed me how much was in such a little bottle.

When my daughter was 4 we had a parents evening at her nursery.
30 minutes before the appointment she walked into the frontroom with felt tip drawn all over her face . Not the easiest things to scrub off in a rush, so we went to the school with a little human doodle.

A very long time ago when my son was about 3 his favourite song was Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Junior. Keen to show my parents just how clever he was I shouted out "Who you gonna call?" and the little dear shouted back at the top of his voice "Ghost bast*rds". I was mortified at the time but laugh everytime I think of it now.

My middle boy used to struggle to poo and it was really difficult to potty train him. One day, he squatted in the garden and did a big poo. I was so relieved that he had gone that we celebrated it. For a short while after he would only poo in the garden. I'm just glad the neighbours never noticed.

2 year old daughter disrobing for a poo in Debenhams. chanting "Poo" over & over while other half chased after her.

Slimy Vaseline smeared all over the bedroom is impossible to clean up :(

I have learnt that I now move towards a vomitting child, willing to catch vomit in my hands to limit the damage to the sofa! It's only been since becoming a parent I could be anywhere near vomit, let alone catch it in my hands!

I was mortified to be told my daughter had misbehaved at nursery. She and her two friends had splashed paint all over themselves and the back of one of the teachers! When she came out with a decidedly pink face and red streaks in her hair I couldn't help but snigger!

My little boy did a very well aimed wee all over my husband's shoulder...just after he had got dressed...! Hehe.

My 3 year old also can't pronounce 'Winnie the Pooh' properly but has a Winnie the Pooh bowl. He proceeded to say 'I've got willy and poo in my bowl.' Oh the shame!

My little girl got the norovirus last winter and she was napping on me when all of a sudden she looked up and was sick in my face! I think that was my lowest point of motherhood. Safe to say I came down with the bug a few days later too!

We were sitting in our kitchen around the table, my little boy was just getting into talking and pretty chuffed when he managed to join in and say something. He was a big one for repeating new things he heard.
My much loathed mother in law appeared at the bottom of the garden coming up the path on a unexpected visit, I wasn't happy to see her and said "Oh no, not her again!" to myself. She came in the back door with her hubby and went straight to her grandson sitting with me, and said "Hello little man!" or something like that, he screwed his face up in a grimace and shouted "OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!" , then looked over at me to check he'd got it right. As if it wasn't already obvious where he'd got it from.

I've had quite a few embarassing moments as a parent. When my eldest 2 boys were little we lived in a 2nd floor flat that had a walkway right outside the front door. The just wouldn't wear their clothes, everytime I dressed them, they always took their clothes off and if I had to open the front door for a delivery then they used to push past me and run up and down the walkway stark naked and shrieking and I had to chase them back in! One day they were at nursery when the courier knocked on the door with a parcel and he said "This is the flat where the naked boys run out!" They obviously made a big impression on him!

Another time they ran out naked yet again and the lady next door said to my eldest "Where are your clothes?" to which he replied that he hadn't got any!!! Cheeky monkey!

Ooh and last year I joined the list of embarrassed parents whose child thought the B&Q display toilets were real...the shame of it! All because I was trying to work out some complicated sizing and he wandered to the loo on the display right behind me!

OH learned that our usually shy, quiet and well-behaved 3 year old could reach the egg box from her seat in the trolley in the supermarket and whilst he was bending down to reach tins from the bottom shelf, she thought it was time to 'play catch Daddy' with the eggs....

Before having children, I was never late and could be out of the house easily. Since having children I learned that, however organised you may be, getting out of the house is a battle like no other - the day you are pushed for time is the day that DC is determined to be independent and put on their own clothes and shoes - very slowly.

Also, since having children I have learned that, not only do I spend half my life explaining that I did not have any input into the clothes DC was wearing but that they had chosen them personally and red and white striped tops really do go with pink swirly leggings, I also learned that DH had the same lack of clothing awareness and would nearly always choose inappropriate pairing when left to his own devices. Will never forget the time I was going out to a baptism ahead of my husband and DD and left the clothes for DD out ready so my DH couldn't get it wrong - halfway through the service I realised he had put the dress on back to front!

li is not using the toilet himself and he is so proud. took ages to get him to do it but he snuck away the other week and did it himself before shouting and demanding a big cheer.

Now, every time, he swings the door open for a round of applause from any visitor to the house.

It is funny though.

When my son was about 3 I was driving to my Mums when a woman cut me up causing me to brake sharply. I called her a silly cow under my breath & carried on until I had to stop at the next set of lights as it was on red. The woman was in her car next to mine & as it was summer both our windows were down at which point my son proceeded to inform the other driver that his mummy thought she was a silly cow! Luckily the lights changed & I drive off. I have been much more careful what I say in the car since then!

My youngest Son once came out of school and announced to the world that he'd had a great prostitute teacher that day. I'm pretty sure he meant substitute!

My son had a mega melt down because his pasta touched his peas and sweetcorn - it was the end of the world!!!

I tried to show my son, responsibly how to use superglue....I ended up squirting this in my own eye and spent a few hours in A&E (hangs head in shame) coming home looking like Jake the Pirate with my eyepatch!

My son put a keyring in the microwave when my back was turned for a second, when i switched it on to warm up his bottle my microwave set on fire!

My daughter drew some beautiful love hearts all over my solid wooden headboard (which years later makes me smile everytime i look at them)

Funny little people arent they

yoghurt poured over her head constantly

my daughter used to have a thing about bags she would be dragging bags around the floor shed put anything she could in them she once took my midwifes car keys while she was weighing my son good job i knew were they'd be