How do today's teenage stresses compare with the kind of things that stressed you out when you were a teen? Talk to the National Citizen Service and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

We've been asked by the team at NCS, the country's flagship youth programme for 16&17 year olds, to find out about Mumsnetters' opinions on the kinds of things that stress your teenagers out and how this compares to the trials and tribulations of growing up when you were the same age.

How different is life for today's teenagers? Do you think young people today are under more pressure to keep up with trends and technology? Or perhaps academic expectations are more stressful now than they were when you were young? Are you glad that social media wasn't as important when you were a teenager? What about things that really stressed you out that don't feature in modern teenage life at all?

Natasha Kizzie from NCS Trust says: "The start of the new academic year is particularly challenging for 16 and 17 year olds today. They are not only dealing with the day to day pressures of social media, coursework and exams, but they're also tasked with laying the foundations for their future after school or college. With pressure growing, it can be difficult for both teens and their parents to take a step back when it comes to making decisions."

"NCS is a truly unique experience that takes teens out of their comfort zone with lots of new experiences, an away from home stay and the opportunity to make lasting new friends friendships. It is an invaluable opportunity to gain confidence and develop the skills they need to follow their dreams."

Share your thoughts on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note your comments may be included on NCS's pages on MN, their social media channels, and possibly elsewhere, so please only post if you're comfortable with this.

Thanks & good luck,
MNHQ

I feel that the stressors that our teenagers are facing in todays society far outweigh the stressors I had myself as a teen (late nighties, early 00's). I feel that there is too much of a celebrity culture these days, and far too many of those celebrities are just awful role models. It seems everyone is famous these days, for things like having huge breasts, huge buttocks and ridiculous names. You can be famous because you appear in a reality show, because of the rubbish that you tweet.. because of the video's you upload to youtube.

Obviously there have been celebrities in my own teenage years, and way beyond that, however, there wasn't constant instant access to their lives, their, comments, their opinions.. at the click of a button!

I feel teenagers have much more stress over their weight, their body image, fuelled by the media. I feel that they have to grow up too quickly. Our children get stressed out over simple things, like being away from their mobile phones for several hours when their batteries die! They don't want to play outside anymore, they'd rather sit on their laptops/tablets/desktops reading about the world rather than taking part in it. They are anxious when they don't have the internet! For all those mums of teenagers, have you ever had complete drama should the internet not be working/isn't connected?!

Whilst I do believe technology is brilliant, I am an avid internet user myself, I do believe that it's causing alot of anxiety in our children and it is the decline of social interraction and activities outside.

I feel teenagers are forced to become adults sooner than they are emotionally ready for, they are watching programmes pre-watershed that are again, totally inappropriate. A well known TV show aimed at teenagers has murder lines, drug use, rape.. almost every day!

For some reason, todays teenagers seem far more stressed than when I was young, with all the phones apps this just seems to make things worse for them, and that makes it more stressful for us

I was bullied badly at school, if the internet and phone were as big as they are now, I think things would have been much much worse

Oh man!!!! teenage stress - it stresses me out! Yes I do think that there is a lot of pressure to be kept up to date with technology - he would not say to us (until he got a new phone) that he never got the old one out at school because all his mates had better ones!

I do feel that teenagers must 'check' each other far too much, as even with packed lunch for school there are items that are not acceptable (such as low fat cereal bars - otherwise people think you are on a diet). Thank god for the uniform or we would be having a nightmare on clothes shopping! I think there is also no room for kids to be a bit taller, smaller, fatter, thinner, big feet, small feet, wonky teeth, glasses, or have spots etc - a lot of commenting goes on which to me is a form of bullying. I think one day someone called my son for having greasy hair - when I was that age I never noticed anyone else's hair!

During my time as a teenager there were only a small number of 'cool' people and the other 95% were just normal (i.e. didnt get extra money for all the stuff you needed to be cool). Seems these days some parents feel that they need to flash money all over their teenagers to show they love them - which makes it really hard for those of us who love our teenagers very much but dont have the cash to splash. Most of things bought are not what they are cracked up to be and are a waste of money. And most of the teenagers that get money thrown at them this way turn out to be the really irritating obnoxious ones no one really wants to be friends with.

I think the academic stuff is way too stressy too for them. Our son is very lucky as he just sails through these things, but I have friends who have had private tutoring to keep their children up to a "standard" - which I feel shouldnt be necessary - the school should be doing the work with the children and everyone is different (i was a complete daydreamer and i cant add up but I turned out ok)! haha. I think some parents actually add to the stress for their children and its so unfair - there is nothing wrong with turning out like i did! There is far too much homework (not enough time for fun) and I feel that when When I was 17 it was 1988 and teenage life was not as serious. I blame social media for that - you cant fart without someone taking a photo of it these days. There is no room for "little errors" and social learning for teenagers these days.

Bullying - yes our son sees it go on and he doesnt like it. I dont like it either as I once got hit at school by a bully - its something schools should be able to STOP completely and have zero tolerance of. Schools these days are about as tough as marshmallows when it comes to keeping kids safe - the kids have to look out for each other. Our son has given advice to one of his friends about this lad who keeps saying things to him and its only a matter of time before something happens. My lad is a big lad and I have told him that if anyone hits him he has full permission from me to thump back. I cant even imagine the stress that some kids go through during their week at school. When Michael Gove was in charge of schools he changed this and that (all paper pushing) but nothing to address the marshmallow - schools need to be able to take ACTION. Merely saying there is zero tolerance is just saying it and not doing anything about it.

(My two are far off being teenagers, so this is going by my perception...)

In 'my day' (that makes me sound old!), technology was around but not to the degree it is today. I feel like teenagers now are surmounted to huge amounts of pressure in their peer groups to keep up with the latest technological trends. Mobile phones for teenagers just didn't exist back in the day.

When I was a teen there was no social media, we had a landline phone and that was the main means of contact. There was no pressure or bullying using social media. Teens were not in contact 24/7 like they seem to be today, and that meant a better quality of family life.

Although my mother worked in the family business, it meant that she was usually home when I returned from school. Today's parents are often working full time, leaving teens to return home to an empty home. I believe that can pressurise teens more than today.

When I left school there were jobs available, and no pressure to go on to further education to study and stress about whether there would be a job available at the end of long pressurised courses. Also, education was paid by the government in contrast to today when students leave uni with enormous debts.

Life was definitely less pressurised when I was a teen, it's difficult for today's teenage generation.

One big difference other than the obvious of technology is designer items, teens need the best named trainers and designer named clothes these days or they feel they will not fit in with the crowd, when i was young we just got clothes of the market or your local department store, there was not all the pressure they have now to constantly keep up with the latest trends.

I used to be afraid of bullies on the way to school and on the way home from school, these days they are pervasive and are inside the home too via the internet :( frightening stuff. We have a duty of care to protect our children - and finding that balance is difficult at times.

In my opinion, one of the most stressful things many teenagers face today that didn't concern me as a teen is the pressure to be "thin" and/or "beautiful". When I was a teen we didn't have endless digitally enhanced images of people and bodies we can never hope to look like or achieve.

I don't think kids know they are born these days. They have everything, the gaming systems are amazing compared to the grandstand TV game that I used to own. Granted there is a lot more pressure out there on social media but at the same time there is a lot more help out there. My kids couldn't imagine the amount of fun I had with a tennis ball in a sock (standing against a wall and bouncing it all around you).

I believe teenagers worry about getting a job when they leave school more than when I left school in my day. Although I had so-so grades I still managed to get a great job. It's not so likely to happen nowadays.

I used to get stressed out over my hair my son is 12 and gets stressed out because i wont let him play an 18 game with killing in it.

I was to busy playing out with friends to play consoles hows times changing

Teens suffer more from anxiety with todays access to internet. I know a 14 year old who has temper tantrums when the internet is down or cannot get online. He cant breath properly and hyperventilates. I believe this happens to a lot of teens. They feel the need to be connected at all times.

I think with all the social media around it must be difficult to escape from nastiness. We all know kids can be horrible (as can some adults) and social media creates this kind of screen to hide behind.

Todays teenagers are so much more stressed than my generation purely down to this media/social netword impression that everyone is so popular and the number of friends on these matters. Not to mention league tables and celebrity news..let them be kids, the adult world isn't as much fun as you think!

Loads of different causes of stress now (many related to tech & gadgets!) but the end result is still the same - lots of drama and shouting!

I actually dread my DDs becoming teenagers because there is so much pressure on them, ranging from how they look - female teenagers look about 25 these days where as we never wore make up and had lots of clothes, the most we did fashion wise was put in a pair of hoop earrings after school! This was only 12/13 years ago. I think academically there is a lot of pressure too, more pressure to get a good job. Obviously social media which has been said quite a lot. We did have msn but it was an hour after school and college, it didn't take over.

Two of my DCs are in their teens. I do not believe the stresses are any greater now than in previous generations. If anything I would say they are slightly lessened. Perhaps they just have different stresses and distractions to us parents had.

I agree cailin7- my teens have a lot less stress then in my generation.

Teenagers today are more stressed about keeping up with technology trends and having possessions.
When I was a teenager we had less stress because we were always outside playing.. teenagers need to remember they are CHILDREN not adults!

There's more emphasis on social media, and owning the 'right' trainers, etc now.

Cameras on mobile phones means that anything and everything gets put on facebook, etc.

There seems less chance of an extended childhood now, which is sad.

Social media has a lot to answer for in terms of the additional stress it puts on our teens, sometimes self-inflicted however. My niece was so excited to be allowed to create a FB profile when she was 13. Compared to my own childhood, it was much more carefree, thankfully.

I think it is much harder for teenagers now than it was when I went to school. There seems to be a pressure to be perfect at everything from academically to appearance wise. Everything is documented now too through social media so rumours spread quicker, pictures are more quickly circulated which add to stresses and anxiety.

More exam pressure & the fact good grades aren't enough anymore to guarantee Uni entrance. Need to do volunteer work etc in addition.

I think social media and gadgets are the main things teens stress about now but back when I was a teen it was just relationships