The Goose & Carrot Pub

[RedRegular]

A thread for all who have DC with SN. The thread is deleted in 90 days and doesn’t show in active. The season is changing and the bar is well stocked.

Yes the GC advert is either jaw droppingly out of step with reality or a PR stunt to divert from the frightening dismantling of child legislation that’s been case law tested over the last 10+years. One barrister described it as a wolf in sheep’s clothing they were pushing through.

And….. rest. Final assignment submitted on time. Me and DH had a moment. We also have to be up at 8am, that’s middle of the rem territory for me.

Heatwave ahead makes caring and getting though the day tricky for some. Also half term routine break if you have it. Honk honk

Oh well done!! Over the finish line. Breathe.

"What we need is more schools for average to high ability but reactive children and nobody who doesn't have a child like that wants their child in a school like that."

The trouble is that I'm reality, those schools would need very bespoke provision and be hugely expensive. Even with 1:1 or 2:1 support, DD2/3's school has to be very careful in their transitions and mixing of students. Student A sparks student B, Student C can't stand the noise student D makes, student E doesn't like the work...

It costs the LA about £70,000 per year, per pupil, and up to £100,000 for the ones needing 2:1 support, so they want reams of evidence to justify each year there. DD3's placement for next year still isn't confirmed (although the LA haven't consulted any other setting, so the HT has emailed them and said that if they don't confirm by X date, an invoice will be going in).

I can see why a resource base sounds attractive to the Government, who really don't know what these kids are like in the day to day.

The other factor is that because these settings are so expensive, the LA delays placement until everything else has failed, so they are trying to unpick years of educational trauma in just two years, etc.

I've just watched the Gemma Collins thing again. I urge you to listen to her. Cheery voice, everyone:

"Get to school honey, enjoy yourself, and be fabulous!"

Results on a postcard?

Even if she's trying to appeal to the "can school but won't school" teenage girls they aren't likely to find this anything under patronising.

*other than

I have just googled and Gemma is 45 - pretty ancient as far as a 16 year old demographic is concerned I would have thought. I am still confused as to the message they want to portray ??? school is pointless and you can have a social media career as long as you are confident enough.

Here's a radical thought - why don't they ask young adults who struggled at school what helped and did not help. It is only as an adult that we have fully appreciated how hard ds1 finds it to read facial expressions - never appreciated when he was finding social communication so difficult at school when he was nine but certainly explains a few things now. He also says he was confused ALL of the time by the teachers and by the other pupils - small wonder he was so stressed. Knowing both of these things would have helped teachers put in better support rather than being totally baffled why a child who appeared to be good at learning was struggling so much.

Anyway ds2 has put in his last bit of coursework after absolutely agonizing procrastination. Saturday is his last exam.

@OneInEight exhausting procrastination! Good luck for tomorrow.

It’s an expensive campaign when SEN is underfunded.

@scoopofmintchocchipicecream I know x rays have to be reported on; but why did doctors in A & E waste their breath saying

”DD1 has a sprained wrist”

She can’t localise pain, but we knew her pain was in her right shoulder and elbow (without 10 years of medical training), so we took her home and put her arm in a sling (left over from a previous shoulder injury); only for the consultant to ring us up two days later to say she had a broken collarbone and elbow!

The next time, they missed a fracture in her fibula, which we could see as soon as they showed us the x rays, in the fracture clinic!

What is the point of A & E, if they can’t diagnose and treat fractures; and they don’t listen to us either?

As for the SEN reforms, it’s basically an idea the Conservatives or their advisors came up with, before the 2010 election and I saw being floated about. However, when they got into power and found there was no money, they put that idea for SEN reforms onto the back burner.

I didn’t make any comments on the SEN reforms, because I didn’t have recent experience of the school education system; but now I have had a better look at what the mainstream school is not doing for DGD, I can see there’s the age old problem! Children get no SEN Support in some schools. I suspect the money goes on children with behavioural problems, which are probably undiagnosed SEN, but where does that leave quiet well behaved girls with SEN, struggling just as much? So, the parents only option is to seek an EHC plan and then the LA complains about year on year increases in EHCNA requests!

@RedRegular Hurrah for the final submission. Enjoy your time out with DH and friends.

Good luck to DS, @OneInEight.

I can always resuscitate it when ds is actually well enough to attend.

@Zeonlywayisup so you can make an informed decision; if the EHCP is ceased, you wouldn’t be able to just restart provision at a later date. You would have to request an EHCNA and go through the NH process.

I think a large part of the problem around SEN is LAs, governments, the general public, etc. are shortsighted. All too often they focus on immediate and short-term costs and ignore the longer term. High cost placements cost a lot, but they can save money in the longer term.

It is the same with EOTAS/EOTIS/C. Proper packages are every bit as expensive as independent SS or even more. Many resent these costs and the provision provided, but they can save money in the longer term. Forcing these DC into schools/colleges won’t help anyone - the CYP, other CYP with SEN, CYP without SEN, staff, wider services… My DSs packages are very expensive. Far more expensive than the placement Lougle mentions. However, if their educational packages were less, other costs would increase.

Phew half term is here… sigh. Hope the hot weather doesn’t dysregulate too many. I got DD out early for her “pe” she shoots around on her roller skates, then we ticked off two subjects by lunchtime and I’ve printed off the week after half terns planning yah! Productive morning gotta love paracetamol with caffeine and some hyper focus I can collapse now and breathe.

Another amazing win this week DD2 just casually says to me do you want to see my new website? She had been doing some creative planning then went into hyper focus yesterday designed and built her second website in a few hours. I’m so hoping we can can slowly build her social skills and confidence in this world because she’s got so so much potential to share. I have to file away these memories for the days when I second guess removing her from school and now I can see how far she has come.

ITA on the lack of long term planning for complex children. I appealed to the SEND tribunal four times, because of the LA’s short term planning and penny pinching - I won three and they conceded once. I would have always settled for less; but once forced to the tribunal, I always sought exactly what the professionals said, she needed!

The whole reason, she is in a specialist care home now, costing over £250,000 pa is that they tried to save £32,000 one year, by naming a school, the top NHS units in the country said couldn’t meet her needs. She suffered massive cognitive deterioration. Had she stayed as she was, we wouldn’t have dreamt of putting her in a care home; but we couldn’t cope with the stress 24/7, when she had regressed from being like an immature 15 year old to like a 2 year old with anterograde amnesia, and gone from being happy and compliant to regular verbal and physical aggression!

I don’t think they’ll cease it @scoopofmintchocchipicecream I think they’ll just not find another setting for him. Prevarication is an absolute gift at my LA.

@Zeonlywayisup the LA is far more likely to cease to maintain, especially at DS’s age. Leaving section I blank would mean EOTAS/EOTIS/C. Even if they named a type of placement but no specific placement, the LA would still be responsible for delivering F.

Redregular good work for an on time final submission.

One in Eight what a relief to submit after agonising procrastination (know that one well). Hope the final exam goes well.

I don't envy those facing high temperatures this weekend. I hope all survive without too much difficulty.

Red and lougle enjoy your outings.

Yes it’s possible. I can’t do anything about what they may or may not do though. I’m doing what is best for ds. Every day from now until I can’t do it anymore. It’s not best for him to be in that college. It’s not best for his only support to spend her time on meetings and calls instead of doing the support. I sat in that meeting listening as we went through each and every outcome. ALL progress has been at home and the vast majority as the result of very carefully planned and reliably executed support provided by me. If huge amounts of my time are wasted on supporting “education” ds is missing out. I should have pulled him out 5 months ago.

@Zeonlywayisup that is, of course, your prerogative. I just wanted to point out if the LA cease to maintain you wouldn’t be able to just restart provision so you can make an informed decision because lots of parents think they can get the EHCP back easily and quickly further down the line and are surprised when that isn’t the case.

I would add to that @Zeonlywayisup that if you needed something expensive you might find it's ok to do pencil and paper work at home but other things you can't provide.
We do moan about DS school but we could never provide the animals/gardens. That's a must in his options (but we have yet to have our questions answered about those...)

Have you ceased the placement yet? If not, you can report him as unwell at college (which is true, because every time he goes in he's distressed) and email the LA to tell them that the college is not meeting the terms of his EHCP/ not providing the support he needs.

He doesn't have to be part of that process. He can be told that he's having a break, having a holiday, doesn't need to go in today....whatever.

DD1 had another good session with the psychologist today. They worked on activities that could be good to do with carers, exploring the red/yellow/green elements of them.

DD3's teacher brought her parrot in for a visit, so that DD3 could say goodbye to him, which she loved. She's feeling a bit better now that she is going to get a 'progress letter' from her, and staff are allowed to mention that they saw her from time to time.

DD2 has finally got a TA who gets her. She apparently got very cross that DD2 has improved her attendance hugely this week but wasn't rewarded for it, so she marched into the office and advocated for DD2. She was then told that she had been given a 'positive consequence' for her efforts which effectively upgraded her to the platinum tier for her Weekly Points Reward activity. She was beaming when I got home, because she'd been seen.

I'm a little bit frustrated with the LA. The case co-ordinator wrote today to say that they have all the professional reports (not so, the SALT hasn't submitted yet) so the next step is a meeting to hold an AR to formalise the request to update her Plan, and start looking for specialist placements. We can meet w/c 15th June. That's over 3 full weeks away. Bearing in mind that term ends in July....it doesn't give long to get something in place, does it?

@drspouse similar here. Not animals/gardens, but we could never provide the support DSs have in their EHCPs either. Even DS2, who is in MS and has significantly less support than DS1&3, has support costing more than the average yearly salary.

@Lougle finally, the school noticing how hard DD2 is trying is long overdue.

Is it a formal reassessment of needs? If so, you don’t then have an AR.

lougle so good that DD2 finally has an advocate at school. Good that DD1's session with the psychologist was useful too.