my husband wants us to have more children

[Fio2]

i am not sure, infact I am petrified

dont know, he said he would have a vasectomy at 35 as in his mind that would be too old he is 36 this year

no I dont think he would pout pressure on as i am too bloody minded sometimes

Listen mate, you're not thinking and feeloing anything that any women in the world be thinking.
I'm having another child becasue I don't want Lottie to be an only child and I'd like more children, but I'm really scared that I'll have another child with SN. I mean what will be will be and I'll just have to get on with it but I really want a child without SN's, I really, really do. Not taking away from lottie, I wouldn't change a thing about her, to me, most of the time it's no worse than having a child with excema or asthma, but what if I'm not as lucky next time, what if it's more severe. I want to have the opportunity to raise a child with no SN, to know what it's like to be like everyone else. To fit in with the rest of the world. to not be carrying a 4 year old round, to watch my NT do things without being shown how for months on end. I love raising Lottie I really do, but I'd love to now raise a NT child. That's normal babes, me and you are normal in thinking that. After seeing what you've seen, friends have SN child after SN child no wonder you are terrified. It's scared the shit out of me and I didn't see it so I can pretend it didn't happen! I'm going to have this baby, I want this bay, i love it already, but if he or she is born with SN I don't know if I could get pregant again, i'd be terrified. but if I fell pregant i couldn't do anything to stop it, not knowing the SN children I know now.

i'm not helping i know, just wanted to symapthise and I've spoted a load of nonesense I'm sure.

yeah, what you wrote also scared the shit out of me! It does happen doesn't it? I also worried about having another with more severe SN, though that would be hard in our case.
DH can't have the snip at his age! He's bonkers. Me and DH were 43 and 44 when we had DD, not the best plan but that's was the way it was. Your DH is a mere stripling!

sorry didnt mean to scare anyone just with my own track record, planning not to have a child with CF (not offence to anyone, i adored my sister) and then going on to have a child with something completely different. I think i need to sort my head out and stop scaring everyone, not was not my intention. It just doesnt gho away. i think maybe I see more as my daughter is older and goes to a special school, so you do realise people have kids with different special needs which are in whatever classes. My daughters friend also has another sister at the school (so weird as it is a half sister with something different too, bollox must stop tjhis)

ALL KICK ME AND I WILL SHUT UP

and it is the 'severe' bit as my dd has microcephaly and it can be really quite profound. Although dd is classed as severely diusabled she is still really quite able, but it scares the hell out of me to think it could be worse or even progressive, but I live with that anyway

Its just scary to see it written down. I do know several people with more than one child with ASD and lots of people with kids with other disabilities though not necessarily more than one child and that is scary to me as its the unknown.
We could offer to do your DH a special MN snip using a Fisher Price My First Operation kit

oh but he might enjoy that

Perve!

I've written on another thread about our follow-up appointment yesterday with the CDC. The other thing they talked to us about was genetics.

They told us that we had a 1 in 20 chance of having another child with ASD, and a 1 in 5 chance of having a child with what they called a 'related condition' including ADHD, OCD, dyslexia etc.

This isn't specific to us, it's what they tell all parents. They said that these odds would change if either of us had a child with someone else - they think the genetic component comes from the mix of genes from both parents.

Presumably it's the genetic mix that gives you the starting point and then the heavy metals/other environmental factors push you further down the line.

beccaboo- or environmental factors could trigger it or not. eg if your problem is detoxifying heavy metals in their absence then their levels won't build up so normal development results iyswim.

think of pku- if someone has that then they are fine providing they avoid phenylalanine- so special diet and development is normal. Without the special diet development is abnormal and severe problems result.

Jimjams, it makes me wonder if some of us parents have the genetic vulnerability, but because we didn't get loads of vaccines (and antibiotics) in childhood then, like you say, it didn't become apparent.

I think environmental factors are the issue for some people but for us it doesn't explain my sister (48 yrs!) with AS and my cousin's DS with clasic ASD.