I'm so tired and I don't know what to do

[Thomcat]

I posted this in sleep but as I was talking i realised that there is a SN element to my problem.

Sorry I know JakB has posted something about sllep but my query / need for advice is a bit different and I'm hoping you might have some pearls of wisdom for me.

We've moved L into a big girls bed. She's going to sleep okay but started waking at 630 and coming into us but it's been getting earlier and earlier. We put a gate up at her door but she sits behind it and cries. This morning it was 4.30!

I'm just so tired, as is D and as is L. I'm tired anyway as early days of pregnancy, and feel nauseaus all afternoon which is being made worse by being so tired and so on. have bad headache behind eyes and feel teary and hormonal, all not helping each other basically.

So my question is, other than knowing how to get her to sllep later, how do I make her understand that it's too early to get up? The girls on sleep section of MN suggested a clock but there's no way she'll understand the concept of that yet, no way. i'm not sure what she understands tbh, not sure if me saying 'it's too early L, go back to sleep, close your eyes'.

Any ideas, I'm so tired I can't think straight, any advice would so gretafully received.

The keywords thing is a kind of happy medium.. not ignoring.. but not going to her. You just keep calling out in a repetitive way... (very easy to do when you are half alseep!!)

SJ x

I would get into bed with her, or even better, get dh/dp to do it whilst you get through your early pregnancy exhaustion.

Have posted on the other thread earlier, please just do whatever you can to get through this period. There is no right or wrong way imo, I can't leave either of mine to cry and I am sure I do things 'wrong' all the time, but at 5am I have no rules.

These teary feelings will pass love, try to keep your chin up.

xxxx

How about a story tape or favourite songs that she could listen to quietly? You could maybe have it on the landing and activate it for her without her seeing you..

And re the drink.. would juice be a happy medium..? you'll be brushing her teeth when you get up anyway...

On Sat ams when I get up early (as usual) for swimming club with the others, I put a DVD on for DS2 on DS1's play station. Gives DH a 45 minute lie in.

SJ x

She just doesn't do juice but no worries, water is better than nothing and a good idea.

I'm going to try all you suggestions.

You've all been so nice that that's making me cry now!!!!!!!!!!

Oh God!!!!!!!!!

TC,she may not completely understand the concept of time yet,but I'm sure that she would understand the concept of not getting out of bed until an alarm clock rings (even if she chooses to pretend she doesn't understand it,lol!) You can make a nice ritual out of winding it up and setting it. A regular one would do but I've seen a sweet abbit one (I think the ears wiggle when it rings) in something like Blooming Marvellous,JJMB or Urchin.

To create an association,try backward chaining. When she first comes in to you,take her back to her room and say 'Wait for the alarm clock.' You will of course have discreetly adjusted the mechanism to ensure it rings perhaps a minute or two after you return to her room. Over the weeks,you can lengthen the gap between returning to the room and the alarm ringing. Eventually she will be able to cope with returning even if it is 4:30 or whatever,as she knows that the time will come.
Will take a bit of word,but it will ultimately mean more peace for you,no going backwards and using a cot again,and the start of her understanding the concept of time.

(I'm about to start the same thing,as we are suffering similarly. Grrrrr......)

TC my ds doesn't go to bed till 10pm as he always wakes in the middle of the night otherwise, nap or not. Try winding down at least an hour before, use a lamp in the room or dimmer so that its dark and reduce stimulation (tv). We have a story then lots of night night. He usually shouts 'getting up time' when he wakes i say 'not yet, its sleep time' from my bed he usually lasts bit longer and sometimes drops back of (at least waits). If that doesn't work then its story tapes till dawn i need my sleep! All the rest of suggestions are in use to just getting a blind now!

thank you all so much. It's bad enough being tired but being pregnant tired and hormonal are just all too much. My mum just rang and ^told& me that she is having Lottie on Friday afternoon until Saturday afternoon. Needless to say I cried! Bless that woman.

I've printed off this thread, and the other one and have emailed them to D as well.
i will be puitting into action all your pearls of wisdom.

Here's to us all getting decent sleep
Thank you all for taking the time and effort to post.

Decent sleep?? Remind me what that is again .

xx

Oh mate, don't!

Mmmmmmmmmmmm decent sleep! wistful emoticon They don't call me SleepyJess for nothing you know! (Actually, they don't call me it at all.. nobody but you lot cares how sleepy I am.. and my name is not even Jess! But that's by the by really!! )

Sending you and Lottie sandman thoughts TC

SJ x

Sandman thoughts -
How lovely.

dont know i get up to my dd 5 times a night, even when pregnant, hasnt been any fun maybe thats why i come across as being such a shithead

hope you get something sorted, have you spoke to you paed?

Fio hun, you are not a shithead.. you just feel like one..which doesn't mean you are one! I felt like that all last week!

Five times a night disturbances are what we get too! (Although I'm not pregnant and not gonna be!!)

Did you used to be Keane??

SJ x

yesd i do feel like shithead just lately

Sweetheart, if going back to a cot would help, then do it. It is NOT a failure on anyone's part. Luckily ds has never, ever got out of bed (but hey, he can't put on any clothes either ) but I do think this may just be a phase due to the excitement of baby coming and new bed and will settle down as most phases do. Either that or she's training you up for having a baby who is less of an Olympic standard sleeper than Lottie was
Chin up! Have a lovely Friday night.

Thomcat a quick fix until you can get the room really dark is to tape up binbags over the windows - we sometimes still do this when we stay at friends and their curtains aren't thick enough. Also Great little trading co do pink or blue blackout curtains you can order on the net and get delivered - we have them in the kids room with a blackout blind as well and they are good.

Thank you. Just ordered her curtains from next, oh actually from ebay but from Next originally. Maybe i can get them lined with blackout material?

LOL Aloha - this is certainly training for no 2!

I do think I'd be coping better if I was n't pregnant, hormaonal, feeling sick every day all day.
This will get easier,.......... right???!!!

no it gets much worse

Fio, aka shit head , I felt like a proper shit head this morning when I was being very grumpy with L and D and being pathetically teary.
Being tired and dealing with the crap life throw at you does that to a person aye, TC x

yes unluckily it will only be a few more weeks

What will be a few more weeks? Feeling sick and tired? I do hope so mate.

TC - I have managed to completely miss that you are PG! congratulations!

No advice on the early waking - infact, I'm taking note of some of the ideas here as dd seems to be waking between 5 and 5.30 at the mo.

I am sure it will get better.

Thomcat remember the first weeks of pregnancy really REALLY make you tired. And my ds has been waking early too I really think it's the brighter weather. I hope the curtains help. And I hope you feel less grotty soon. Just round the corner is the middle trimester when you feel bursting with energy and optimism ... (I keep telling myself )

Oh Thomcat

I remember this phase with my DS when he first started nursery, we couldn't keep him awake after nursery which meant he was up early the next day.

We didn't crack it until we got the daytime nap out od the equation. We used to take an ice-cold drink for him to have on the way back from nursery and (shamefully) a very high sugar snack of some kind (starbursts were the most effective).

I found if I could get him home still awake then he would get busy doing something around the house or in the garden and would stay awake til bedtime. If he did fall asleep then that would be it for at least 2 hours and the following morning would be hell.

Another tip is to keep her talking all the way home - the odd hand behind the drivers seat to give her a prod/tickle should she start to nod off might help too

Hope you feel on top of it soon - must be a killer when combined with the 'I need to sleep and I need to sleep NOW' early pregnancy head!

i know mate I saw your post on JakB's thread and said to you to look here for tips, killer isn't it. Hope all of our early wakers and kids that wake throughout night all bloody sort it out asap