support thread for the going to be starting school or at school thread lol

[bubblagirl]

thought maybe as there is a pre school thread maybe we could have a going to be starting school or at school thread all welcome really

but we are waiting for our re written proposed statement to turn up tomorrow hoping all is going to be as we need it this time

im really nervous and anxious about him starting school bubblaboy my 4 yr old with HFA for all who may not know me

he had induction today but his sound sensitivity was played up with singing time so may have to ask if he can sit outside of the group with support when he starts and introduced to it gradually as at the moment he dont like big school dont want to go and doesn't like the singing so would hate for that to be what ruins his joy of going to school every day

Hi all. I'm so pleased its (tentatively) going well for you all. I do think its the worst time - the anticipation of not knowing how its going to go.
DS has been at school for about 7 weeks now and so far so good. The hardest thing for me has been watching him socially (although his school work is massively behind too). We invited a friend to play and DS just ignored him pretty much and the friend played with our 20 month old! I was gutted. We need to work on this.
But the main thing for me is that he's not too distressed and he's getting through the days reasonably happily. Other stuff can follow later I figure.

lol i bet you are tired

he did say yesterday he was tired and only had a little bit of energy lol

his got his packed lunch today so no major tantrums there lol im going to ask if they will sit him on a table with his friends today though as they split them all up between the 2 classes and he wasn't with anyone he knew

so fingers crossed the result will be even better than yesterday today

So glad to hear it went ok Bubblagirl. It is all about pre-empting the meltdown isn't it? ie his packed lunch. I am walking on egg shells in the morning before school because I know one upset or telling off could feasibly ruin the whole day for him.

Shells you are so right, just getting through the day is a major accomplishment. We try to help ds with the friendship thing by finding out who has been nice to him (there is one lovely little girl in his class, who has really taken him under her wing) and then really emphasising that this is because they are "friends" and that is what "friends" do, so he begins to understand that friends are a good thing to have. When he started there, he couldn't care less lol but he is getting better.

Ds had a great week, we tried a few new things at home like giving him a massive breakfast as some of his meltdowns are if he gets hungry and also his Dad comes every morning now to take him to school and so ds feels so positive at the outset every day.

Fingers crossed it carries on for all of us.

hi sunfleurs things seem to be going well for you too there

ds second day went well he didnt go in as good laying on carpet covering ears but he was actually with the other children not in corner on his own so that wa s start

when i picked him up after lunch he was very happy and seems to really have taken to the elderlyish TA so i asked if she had done 1-1 with him said yes anyway he gave her a kiss and cuddle to say goodbye and she started crying i think its the start of a great friendship there bless them

he didnt eat much lunch as she said he wanted what everyone else had lol but he ate his sarnies at least

anyway real test will be tomorrow full time but if his buttered the old girl up maybe she will make sure he has all he needs lol

so far so good anyway he walked away saying its a good school also they said he was playing with a little boy called ben who he had befriended and on the way up 3 other boys out side his little friend group lined up to say goodbye to him so his been noticed at least i thought that was relief and the TA said he was actually playing with other children so fingers crossed i know we'll have bad days but it started better than i thought so all good so far

gla dto hear its all going well for everyone .Ds stays till1 this week and has lunch everyday , though we have issues as ot not been in yet and he cant sit on stool so hes going to be usinga chair from staff room lol hope none sits on it after as hes messy eater

oh bless him lets hope your school pull there finger out soon and get all thats needed and the ot as long as he seems happy there so far then thats good it can only get better with the right help

Bubbla - smiled at your DS making the TA cry (in a good way). It can only be a good thing!

well its his first full day today he still seems ok about going to school so thats good
today will be the real test as he'll be there so long i'll remind them about the book corner if it all becomes too much so they can diffuse any meltdowns before they start

well im feeling so proud he done first full day came out happy shouted out big school is really really good ad apparently got on great while there so im really happy

bit , as DS has apparently been threatened with going to see the head for being naughty in the computer room. I say apparently because I am getting piecemeal bits of the story from DS. Will have to speak to teacher tomorrow to find out what went on (as no home/school book system). I'm not saying DS is a saint, but am not pleased with them holding the threat of the head over a 5 year old.

hope today went well bubblagirl and that seems very heavy total chaos.

We had few issues over lunch though we had 32 hrs statement turns out some of that was for preparation time so leaving lunch mostly uncovered but after problems on Monday head is onto lea asking for mor eto cover dinner but means till then for ds sake I will be covering lunch

thanks phoenix his day went well he seems to be ok we role played what he has to do when he gets into class get book sit on carpet and wait for teacher as this is what upsets him he doesnt know whats expected i need to ask this week if anything from the statement is in place as i was sure they were to do now and next with him

his started to hold his poos again so having bouts of problems but managed to dose him up enough he has gone this morning so i know he will eat and behaviour will be better too

school seems to be helping with his sleep too he wants to go at 6.30 and usually sleeps 4 hrs then up to our room but his going over 6 hrs and sleeping in until 6 or half past instead of 4-5 am so even better still needs melatonin but it seems to tire his brain enough to really settle

TC sorry to hear of that threat to your ds poor thing hope you get that sorted

phoenix sorry to hear yet again not everything is in place so much for this being your time to rest i really hope it all gets sorted soon so you can catch up on some missed sleep and just relax

Bubbla, glad things are going well. I noticed you said DS is holding poo, we are having the same problem at the moment as this came from nowhere, he just does not want to sit on the toilet, would not do it in nappy or potty. Just wondering if this is the stress of starting school. We are doing well here as well, DS does not look at me when he says bye, but very happy to see me when I go to pick him up. Unfortunately, the speech gap seems to be so enormous between him and the other kids, he is looking more lost there. He was asked what he did over the weekend, obviously it meant nothing to him as he does not have the concept of time. Everyday the teacher is asking me what he can and what he can't understand and I seem to be always telling that he does not really understand the concept . Sometimes I cant' help feeling depressed.

Phoenix, when are they going to have support in place? Is there no time limit in the statement?

TC, that's terrible, how nice of them!!!!!

tiredmummy have you done a personal passport with his about me so you can do communication etc all written from childs point of view we done this it covers likes, dislikes, communication, my autism ,toileting, food,

all the staff can then read this and understand his needs better from his point of view

do you have your statement in place are they doing anything to help him interract with other children?

my ds has never pooed on toilet but will go in a nappy but has been holding it for 5 days or more even medicated we were having to really over load with medicine until the inevitable happens but this morning i managed to talk him into trying and he did do it its an anxiety thing with my ds

well this morning ds went in got his book sat on carpet other children went to sit with him he was then showing another boy his book and talking to each other i could have cried for 2 yrs he would not sit with others at pre school

other children then sat around him and he stayed put with them chatting he doesnt talk the same as the other children his speech sounds are coming a long but his way of speaking is still quite behind other children have more playing talk and he doesnt

but i spoke to teacher and she said he plays with the other children talks to them and the other children seek him out to play and his quite popular in the class i could have cried and he comes out happy and its helping his sleep so maybe the problems will not be as severe as i was thinking we will have bad days but the fact his playing and talking is something he never really did at pre school at all

im so proud it was so nice to see him in the circle chatting with children i nudged my friend and said did you ever think you would see that she agreed not and then the teacher said the children all want to play with him was great as they never noticed him at pre school he had no play mates really

tiredmummy - sorry you are finding it a bit depressing, it's good though that the teacher is interested enough to ask these things. I agree with Bubbla- do a document listing what he can do language wise, so you hopefully just have to do it the once.

re:seeing the head. that bit was a misunderstanding - another child was taken to the head yesterday - but I am still - as teacher thought DS was not listening/being a bit rude when she gave the class instructions to do stuff on the computer, and DS just sat there and didn't go off and do it, as he didn't know what to do, and said something to the teacher allegedly about not wanting to do it (?). I mentioned the language delay to her, and how it can make the way DS phrases things seem a bit rude, but think I will have to make it crystal clear that DS does not always understand instructions. Another teacher came out to see me after school today as DS had committed the heinous crime of not wanting to pick up his jumper at playtime, and said No and walked off . Now whilst he shouldn't have done that, do I really have to be informed of tiny misdemeanours FFS.

TC they all sound slightly precious he is still indeed a child who wont always want to do what is asked if that was the case id be called up all the time lol

does it affect ds as mine if someone says can you or more demand pick your jumper up please as if someone says to ds can you pick it up or will you he will say no if they say pick it up he will pick it up
if so maybe this can be discussed also don't offer choices just tell him what's expected

lets hope they stop being so precious and just let him be a kid and try and understand him a bit better

also TC maybe you need to flag the talking to directly as ds is another who doesn't understand group instruction and will also say he doesn't want to do it if unsure of what he is supposed to do its the frustration isn't it that makes them all of a sudden back off as didnt understand what was asked

DS is I think OK with choices and slightly flowery language - I think he is OK in principle with being given instructions as part of a group, but I think in practice if he is given instructions as part of a group they won't be as tailored to his level of understanding.

It was DS first afternoon at nursery and it went well. I have been worrying about how out of place he would seem and all that, but it wasn't so bad at all. Luckily his walking has been quite good the last couple of days so he was upright most of the time.

oh fantastic boolifooli they do like to worry us lol glad his walking is much better too,

Bubbla, my DS is like yours, if he is being told what to do he will, but he will not if it is not a direct instruction. Also if he does not understand something, he will say no. We have not done a passport as he does not really have any issues that is directly related to autism (any sensory,meltdown, behavioural type of things that can directly be attributed to autism), but what he has is severe speech delay. His speech therapist has done a detailed report on what level his understanding and speech is. May be I should ask the teacher politely if she has had a chance to read that report.

Last night DH said we should look at the positives, the progresses he made. A year ago he was not calling us mummy and daddy, he was having huge meltdowns, he did not have any bedtime routine (he would rather fall a sleep on the carpet, we spent over a year taking him out every night in the car to put him to sleep), he was not eating, brushing teeth was impossible, haircutting was a definite no no, he was not able to communicate his needs, he was toilet trained, but could not tell us if he needed cleaning. DH said a year ago we did not think all these would be happening in a year's time, so may be a year later he would surprise us with his speech.

tiredmummy your ds has d came along way from what you write there

i found my ds changed alot once he got his melatonin the sleep was huge issue with sensory and behaviour issues

maybe you could do personal passport on communication and understanding from his view ds has no other real issues but he can obviously come across as defiant or rude doesnt understand his spoken to if speaking to whole class, needs to be told directly not asked , will always so no if doesnt understand whats asked i wanted all this written down also along with his sensory issues which are not apparent every day but obviously well may be one day in school and they can prepare and look out for this

so far his settled into school so much better than we thought and seems very popular with the other children he clearly stands out speech wise but luckily we gained a few speech sounds over school holidays so he doesnt sound so baby like now his words are clearer than they were

im really happy your ds has made so much progress though its so good to hear as last yr my ds was completely different boy too we would never have thought he'd be where he is now

i forget how old your ds is now?

well nearing the end of the first school week he is really enjoying school he didnt want to have 2 days off for weekend lol

he has his school friend staying here tonight my friends little boy is in same class and he is stopping here the night so will be good to see how that goes they seem to get on really well with each other so fingers crossed

ds is going well the lsa and teahcer are both on training next week on language course so fingers crossed that should help.And having been in clas is lovely to wtc how some of the children are with him definte little friends and some are even signing to

Dinner time is a issue but working on that one the dinner lady is rubbish wont sign etc and he was ment share a lsa with 1 other for lunch but poor lsa needs to be watching the other child more as she wanders of etc and poor ds is getting lef on his own in big noisy hall.

phoenix its nice to hear that he has some friends in class and children are really good with him

lets hope dinner time gets sorted out the school sound really good in trying to get him what he needs lets hope it can all be in place soon so you can relax in confidence

ds seems to be really liking school and seems to be getting on well the other children really like him and he seems really happy

his first sleep over went really well both boys were very well behaved and played well had bath together and bed top and tail ds has melatonin anyway but he actually slept in his own bed last night with his friend

his friend is good as his 6 mths older and understands my ds so he is patient with him so im hoping by having him stay it will strengthen there friendship in school also as thats what ds will need for them moments his not doing so well