A request for opinions and advice regarding Amber's departure from an outsider, but concerned friend.

[Catitainahatita]

Hi.

I am one of Amber's friends from outside the SN board. We have been distressed and upset by her departure and are unsure of how to respond to it.

We know that Amber was trying to seek a solution with MNHQ for some of the problems that she has faced on the boards recently. We would like to continue this, but are unsure of how to proceed.

To be clear: We are aware that there are many, many issues here that we do not understand or know about. It is not our intention to try to do anything that would be detrimental to other users of the SN board.

For these reasons, we seek your opinions and advice. We do not wish to be presumptious or insensitive or disrespectful in anyway. We would just like to help our friend.

One final personal comment. I realise that my own participation in a recent thread here was rude and beligerant. I apologised there and do so again here. I hope this lapse of personal control can be forgotten if not forgiven.

My only motivation here is concern for Amber; although, I repeat, this does not mean that I am looking to help her at the cost of anyone else.

I really hope there is a solution that is amenable to all. Could you all give us some help on how this might be done?

Thank you very much.

Seriously, can we not try and stick to helping making mumsnet better.

Fio, that made me larf! What was that terrible picture that everyone used to try and catch everyone out with? It was a bat or something.
Sorry, I'll crawl away laughing now

oh, that poor dog. Just not right. Thanks for making me laugh.

MrsT, those comments you pasted here from another thread were very nasty indeed. What a shame.

Mrs.T I am sorry that you are upset. I am sorry that you feel underattack. I am not crictising, judging, or anything about you. I do not want to speak for the poster who you feel has attacked you, as that would be unfair. I just wanted to make it clear that this thread was opened humbly by me, recognising myself as an outsider who does not understand all your positions but wanted to help Amber as best she could. It is not about anything else.

So, yes, can we discuss Justabout's proposal?

Have no issue with a safe place (safe haven?) but...

Firstly, if such a topic is created then IMO it needs to be in the main part of mn and not in sn. Because there are presumably many people on mn who would like a place where they could feel safe to post, and it is wrong to suggest that only people with sn should be afforded this privilage. What about people with mental health issues, or people going through domestic violence who need somewhere to post where they will not be subject to judgements from others? The list is endless. So the board should be in the main part of mn or not at all IMO.

Secondly, the rules of posting in such a category need to be very particular. So no conflict should be allowed, no judgemental posts and no discussion of anyone else on mn. Safe place does not equal safe to slag off other posters in any way shape or form.

I am frankly apawled at some of the comments directed at mrst and others on the other thread. I don't care whether those comments were made in the name of support - it's not on.

Fio. Made me giggle.

I agree with Riven. This is just going to the extreme.

and what pictures are you posting fio?

what on earth is that dog? Fio you have made me laugh..

Oh there's a thread elsewhere on mumsnet riven where Amber was talking to people. Some offered support to her when she was upset. In some cases this included comments that perhaps would have been better said privately rather than somewhere where all (including those talked about) could read them.

yes, but if there is a non conflict section then it should be accessible to all. To suggest that only sn posters have a non conflict section is unfair, and could essentially be constrewed as discriminatory to everyone else, iyswim.

Oh should make clear the comments were not from Amber. Just various others.

Oh should make clear the comments were not from Amber. Just various others.

wannabe, it was a very large dog which had been shaved except for a very large very ginger mane...

extremely odd.

i have to say though, that this discussion really needs to be had with mn hq to be honest. it's not a democracy lol, and there may have been sound reasons along the way as to why the boards have developed as they have...

(wannabe, how do smilies work for you - i've always wondered? i know textspeak is a nightmare, but can you add in commonly occurring acronyms or smiley recognition? a sort of mn translator?)

when it comes up against a smily it says "graphic smile/grin/wink/blush/"insert emoticon of choice. Except for which it reads as "graphic hmm."

This is an improvement however as previous versions didn't read them at all.

so sn is going to be linked with mental health?(sorry been of on my fb farm so a bit lost)

fio - that's very funny - i assumed it was a very hairy dog that had been selectively clipped

i like the idea of a graphic hmm.