A request for opinions and advice regarding Amber's departure from an outsider, but concerned friend.

[Catitainahatita]

Hi.

I am one of Amber's friends from outside the SN board. We have been distressed and upset by her departure and are unsure of how to respond to it.

We know that Amber was trying to seek a solution with MNHQ for some of the problems that she has faced on the boards recently. We would like to continue this, but are unsure of how to proceed.

To be clear: We are aware that there are many, many issues here that we do not understand or know about. It is not our intention to try to do anything that would be detrimental to other users of the SN board.

For these reasons, we seek your opinions and advice. We do not wish to be presumptious or insensitive or disrespectful in anyway. We would just like to help our friend.

One final personal comment. I realise that my own participation in a recent thread here was rude and beligerant. I apologised there and do so again here. I hope this lapse of personal control can be forgotten if not forgiven.

My only motivation here is concern for Amber; although, I repeat, this does not mean that I am looking to help her at the cost of anyone else.

I really hope there is a solution that is amenable to all. Could you all give us some help on how this might be done?

Thank you very much.

OK I'm confused, I suggested a separate area yesterday and was told that was not what was wanted.

I don't think anyone has said they would object to a separate area - although there is some discussion about whether it should be in SN or elsewhere.

That's 3 of us then

Maybe thats the nature of compromise Mrs T, we skirt around the issues, and adjust, and work together towards a solution. Opinions aren't always fixed in stone

I have no problem with that suddenly becoming a solution. I was querying it because I was told on several occasions that was NOT what was wanted.

If it is then no problem.

I think there could be quiche issues if it is on SN.

Where ever it is I think it is not acceptable to slag off posters currently posting on SN, especially when those posters have not been remotely rude to anyone.

Could I just request that if you are going to ask for any changes that would affect the board as a whole, not just SN, you post a version of this thread in Site Stuff for people to think about and comment? I've made a few posts here but feel very very intrusive and have mostly sat on my hands. I'm really not clear what is wanted any more, but I do feel concerned about any knock-on effects for MN as a whole -- particularly since similar sorts of issues could come up in Mental Health, at least, and SN innovations might be cited as a precedent.

personally i would like it to be within SN...as at least then you know that there is some level of sensitivity there alraedy.

I am not saying that non-SN= Insensitive...just that if i post in SN i know many who can read between my lines. If it was 'mainstream' ...i can see me really getting out of my depth- as half the time i talk a load of waffle...but people familiar with SN seem to understand.

I understand your concerns Robespierre and agree with them.

Do you want me to ask her? I can see benefits in there being a conflict-free area for the whole board.

ROBESPIERRE..yes i agree...i have lurked on mental health and there is a big overlap... there's people on mental health that i have recomended read SN threads...as often their difficulties are 'undiagnosed' problems..which may be disscussed on SN .

Yes clique.

I think if you have an 'inner group' then you could end up with a group identity taking on other posters or at least people being slagged off on here (yes I am still pissed off after finding the posts earlier today).

This was partly why I (and others presumably) suggested using the already existing parents with disabilities section.

I take MrsF's point though.

I agree, conflict-free means no slagging off other MNers (unless they are trolls )

(i'd go with it being in Parents With Disabilities.... just NOT main board)

Personally I think the chicken keepers are a bit cliquey

another thing (kind of relavent) is that when you 'choose a topic'...it would be great to have other 'useful topics' flagged up... it would meant that more of us 'ventured out' to the 'maybe more relavent' areas...such as Mental Health....SEN (not just SN) and Mental health...

Well, if the consensus is a seperate place then wannabe's idea of moving the disabled parents topic nearer to SN might work, as Amber will be near to her friends on SN.

As an aside, I got the impression that amber's departure was more to do with MNHQ than it's posters. The people on SN have conversed with amber in depth over quite a long period of time. I'm also going to stick my neck out here as well and say that actually parents of children with SN and disabilities don't need to be told about discrimination or inclusion, we also live it and fight for it every day. Thats why this thread or one like it should be in site stuff.

As for the whole discussing SN posters, it really pisses me off and the sole reason I do not post about my deepest feelings often. Nobody would do that to posters on mental health. Very wrong.

Has anyone mentioned the possibility of a trial period? See how it works? That includes where it is put as well?

So that appears to be lots of Yays and no real Nays so far......

So does that mean democracy works? Oooh a feel a whole new thread coming on ..... elsewhere on MN!

BR

LOL bunnyrabbit!