A request for opinions and advice regarding Amber's departure from an outsider, but concerned friend.

[Catitainahatita]

Hi.

I am one of Amber's friends from outside the SN board. We have been distressed and upset by her departure and are unsure of how to respond to it.

We know that Amber was trying to seek a solution with MNHQ for some of the problems that she has faced on the boards recently. We would like to continue this, but are unsure of how to proceed.

To be clear: We are aware that there are many, many issues here that we do not understand or know about. It is not our intention to try to do anything that would be detrimental to other users of the SN board.

For these reasons, we seek your opinions and advice. We do not wish to be presumptious or insensitive or disrespectful in anyway. We would just like to help our friend.

One final personal comment. I realise that my own participation in a recent thread here was rude and beligerant. I apologised there and do so again here. I hope this lapse of personal control can be forgotten if not forgiven.

My only motivation here is concern for Amber; although, I repeat, this does not mean that I am looking to help her at the cost of anyone else.

I really hope there is a solution that is amenable to all. Could you all give us some help on how this might be done?

Thank you very much.

It sounds as though we need a kind of SN bike shed so we can meet up behind and ....
...chill

I agree. But there are obvious threads that get heated between mnetters. I'm not really suggesting if you think something is in bad taste, as this is one person's view at times.

Also if this was used, could be quite good for everyone. How many times have you said "ah I wish I'd followed that thread", or not known it was getting interesting. Just a different spin on it.

but then you'd have flashing heart chasers, as well as aibu chasers, and... a competition to see how many flashing heart threads you could pull in a day?

really? flashing hearts?
it would be 'if you can't cope with the responses why are you posting on a flashing hearts thread? f*ck off to netmums' wouldn't it?

There is nothing worse than something you post in good faith being taken the wrong way or causing another distress. So I agree - a symbol added would be a minefield! It might also invite aggressive comment. Sorry silly idea.( Magso tries to wake up adled brain)

It occurred to me that the poem that upset our valued friend Amber was posted as a question IIRC (the poem made me cry because it hit a raw nerve - but I did recognise it as written in a different time - a time I am old enough -just -to remember!) I left the debate at that point.

but wouldn't flashing hearts then present issues for people with epilepsy?

I can see your point.

oo, flames. little flickery ones?

but seriously, before this degenerates further, everyone would welcome amber back, but there is a strong element of 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' in my thinking.

if a tea room topic would be helpful in the main board, fine. if some sub-topics in sn would helpful, (off the top off my head, early years, education etc like scope?) then i have no particularly strong feelings either way.

but this flag/symbol malarkey would alter the entire culture of mn imo.

on the sn sub-topics note - would agree that division by disability/sn would a Bad Thing. sooooo much overlaps it would be pointless, and you may as well post on scope or whatever. by age or theme (eek, like skinuk 'communication'?) i don't have too much of a problem with. i always forget to check the other topics other than the general chat ones on these sites though, so you may find posters get a bit quiched lol.

the sn board is getting pretty big i don't think it needs chopping up, but i can see it might make it tidier lol.

DAVROS...yes..i am MRSF

boys are now 9,12 & 15 and ALL dx of AS
(what with DH & me ..i believe we almost cover the full spectrum now!)

MrsF, its so good to hear/see you. Bloody hell, you must have your hands full (still). Its quite the reunion with Fio, Jimjams in disguise, RnB popped up elsewhere the other day and no doubt others I haven't picked up on. Sorry to hijack.

Is it just for one person's taste though? Because I don't believe it is - not very least because I would welcome it too. And it is NOT a matter of "taste" as you say it, but about making a reasonable adjustment to enable her AND others to take a part in MN.

(Davros MrsF et al, how nice you have all found each other. I recognise all the names form years of lurking...)

I think it's worth noting bullett's point of view on this, and anyone else who thinks this would help them to contribute/get support.

We are not talking about changing what we have, but about enhancing/adding something which may make mumsnet more accessable to a group of people whom greatly enhance mumsnet IMHO.

If the consensus is not to disturb the status qou, then all well and good, but if there is anyway we can make things easier for MNers to get something from and give something to MN, and it's not detrimental to anyone else. then I see no problem with this.

BR
PS. I know my spelling is rubbish.. need to ask MNHQ for a spell checker

Xed most MaryBS.

And its NOT rearranging the whole board, just creating an extra space. Is that so hard that we even have to debate it?

post.. I really am good at typos...

Davros )

MARYBS... I would LOVE it too...

I get upset easily- and run a mile...i cannot every argue my case...

maybe the area could be called Fragile !!! As thats how i feel...

bunnyR !

Also as people have brought discrimination into it, it is discriminatory NOT to make reasonable adjustments for even ONE person who has a disability. This doesn't just apply to online boards, it applies everywhere. Which is why many buildings now have wheelchair ramps even if no-one visits who needs wheelchair access - just in case.