Mail on Sunday Magazine

[lottiejenkins]

I found this article today..........I thought it was very moving,,,, what a decision that lady made... dont think i could do it though!
www.mailonsunday.co.uk/pages/you/article.html?in_article_id=522925&in_page_id=1908

does she just want to be famous or something? I find this so bizarre

'Caring long term for a severely disabled child is a monumental task punctuated by much effort on the part of carers, a mountain of all sorts of bureaucracy and respite care which is extremely difficult to obtain. Small wonder therefore that a family unit can fracture under the strain.'

I agree with that, but this woman didn't do that. She didn't crack under the strain of caring. She just seemed unable to cope with the idea of having a disabled child.

yes she chose her marriage with beardy over her child.

chonky- can you link if you find it...

www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/03/2008_10_tue.shtml

not sure if this works or not, just gonna have a listen myself.

oops just tried to listen to it, it says, 'sorry we can't bring you the programme you requested'

not sure if it's my link, or just in general?

Really disturbed by this woman's attitude. No-one asks for a child with a disability you get what you are given that is life and you deal with it.

To leave the child alone at hospital and not go back to pick her up is beyond belief and then to get rid of her stuff as if she never existed. Then going on to talk about cutting the ties- its so sad. Why could they not have had someone like Tania as a respite carer?

The saddest thing is the story the way she tells it like its all worked out for everyone and everyone is happy and how she has done a perfectly normal thing that anyone would do in her situation. She didn't even give it a real try. It doesn't bare thinking about what would have happened if foster carers dint exist. Yet maybe they would still justify their decision with an article about why they had to. I know that I'm not in her position but I believe she just gave up on Imme.

I think people need to go and read the book. I got online friends that have read the article and the book and they all felt that the article made her come across as hard and uncaring. That the subeditor may of been prejudiced.

Talking of which have just had SS round talking about the importance of providing us with the support we need to keep us functioning as a family.

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?xml=/health/2004/05/19/hbaby19.xml

Can't test it, as still at work, but try this link...

does this work?

No mention of leaving her at the hospital in that one.

Also think it's quite irresponsible. I don't know droves of people with profoundly disabled children who suddenly decide they can't cope at 8 or 9 and beg social services to take them away. I know some people who find that the child needs a residential placement (which is very different from begging SS to take the child away) and I know many more who carry on caring for their child at home.

I only know one person who has begged for SS to take the child because she can't cope and that child is pretty high functioning (with very challenging behaviours).

No chonky- but it sounds as if the programme has been removed rather than any problem with the link.

It's there you need to listen to the current programe and fast forward it to 20 minutes. Just found it and listening to it now

colettemum3 i will not be reading the book and putting money into her purse. i read most things with a pich of salt. but you cannot change the fact that she gave her child away because the child was disabled..no other reason.

i know a lot of people who have done everything and tried everything and had to get help as their child gets older due to the sheer size of the problem. but most have not given up and just given the child away.
I accept the fact that a time will come when I will not be able to look after dd 24/7 and live in dread of the day. by then though she will be an adult.
my bf has a severley disabled child(walker but no dx) when I was totally new to sn I asked her why she kept her dd at home. she said to me that she was her dd's security.
have to say that has been something I have remembered and now feel in my case.
like you fio I can't listen/read anymore links about this (as I get to )

www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/
On the right is "listen" click on the listen now latest programme.
Which will open another box and you can forward it to 20 minutes.

I don't think i be buying the book either but athough most people may think she heartless. She is still in regular contact with Immie and does help pay something towards her keep that to me says something.
The amount of stories you hear about people killing their child or abandon their child and signed away parential responsiblity.

But at the end of the day, something still needs to be done in giving parents more support , more respite etc. If this article can highlight that, then at least it has hopefully achieved something.

I had to make a decision re my son when he was seven, i felt he needed to be in a total communication enviroment. I applied for my son to go to the Royal School for Deaf Children in Margate, initially we were turned down then there were funding issues, i got very angry and in the end i rang up my local councillor and told him the story and basically said "right i voted for you what are you going to do to help me?" and he went to the council offices and within a day and a half i had confirmation of a place to start ten days later.
this is an amazing book which i read which is the opposite of this ladies story
www.amazon.co.uk/Henriettas-Dream-Mothers-Search-Freddie/dp/034083157X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qi d=1204651895&sr=8-1
and this is the site linked to the book
www.henryspink.org/home.htm

I read about Henrietta Spink on IPSEA's website some years back. This woman is truly inspirational.

This was the person whom Wandsworth Council paid a visit to when she was trying to get her children statemented - they accused her of asking for a "Rolls Royce" service. The council both bungled and fudged her case so badly its untrue.