Mail on Sunday Magazine

[lottiejenkins]

I found this article today..........I thought it was very moving,,,, what a decision that lady made... dont think i could do it though!
www.mailonsunday.co.uk/pages/you/article.html?in_article_id=522925&in_page_id=1908

try here fio

you have to have realplayer to listen though

she sounded so detached, as if she was a narater not talking about her own life.

and she constantly referred to immy as "she" rarely used her name .

And when she talked about the foster carers she said "they are amazingly loving" as if she found that hard to understand. . and when she talked about Immy's bond with tania and the fact she recognized her she said that "the experts say so yes" she wouldn't acknowledge it herself.

Am still finding it hard to be sympathetic.

also hard to think how someone could bond with a newborn baby knowing that they'd given away her sibling .

I read this article and was quite horrified.
I just couldn't take to her at all. It was as if, a very difficult problem was given to her ,a dn she decided she din't like it, and wanted someone to take it away.
But had no qualms about having another child asap.
Now I want a second child. And I know that I could not cope with a disabled child. Dh and I have talked about this and thought about it. It is a risk to all of us. Before we even jump between the sheets
How did they know that that next child, wouldn't also be disabled. That is why , dh and I still haven't quite decided what to do re ttc child 2.
Am I am not saying that I , in a years time, if this did happen to me, would not consider giving my child to someone else to care for. But either she is a cold hearted bitch, or the Mail (no surprise there) as others have said, have painted her very badly, becasue it came across very poorly.

I mean, yeah, if you choose the wrong coloured car, just get rid, right. Then choose a new colour. Easy !!!!!!She did. First sign of trouble and she's off !

God the BBC website is weird. Just reinforced how many people see the severely/profoundly disabled as not quite human, as not as important as NT siblings.
But I knew that anyway. How can someone say the family is 'intact' when one sibling is living elsewhere. If she was NT living elsewhere they wouldn't say the family was intact .

Not the same thing but it reminds me of the family where the mother had accidentally started a fire in the home and the little girl was very badly burned and disfigured and she left because she couldn't deal with the guilt. Though that little girl has to deal with the fact that she is scarred all over her face and body and that her mother had left her.

Stary, i know the little girl you are talking about, she lives near me and got a pride of britain award the other year, her dad has looked after her brilliantly and is now engaged to another lady.

Hmm, just read the comments on the Radio 4 site.

You know, what I find most disturbing about this story is not that Julia gave up her child, but the vast number of people who will think she did the right thing.

I don't know what I think of her after listening yurt1... scarily detached or in denial for sure.

Hmm, just read the comments on the Radio 4 site.

You know, what I find most disturbing about this story is not that Julia gave up her child, but the vast number of people who will think she did the right thing.

I don't know what I think of her after listening yurt1... scarily detached or in denial for sure.

Thanks fio, im glad you think they are happy, my son it has to be said is the noisiest of the whole lot cant think where he gets it fromI never thought when i posted the original article that there would be such a huge response.

Agree about the 'right thing' HITC. But people give themselves away all the time re. their thoughts about ds1. And they don't even realise they're doing it.

I keeping thinking about this article. I still wonder if the complete lack of support from beardy tipped her over the edge.

what I keep thinking about is the actual meaning of the ultimatum. To me that would just make it clear that if I, or any other children became disabled because of an accident or illness, he would likely not stick around either. I couldn't stay with a man like that.

I actually knew someone once who said he couldn't be sure he could stay with a partner if she developed a serious debilitating illness or became severely disabled. The discussion happened off the back of that woman in the states who had been allowed to die by having her feeding tubes removed. he said something along the lines of that he couldn't be with someone who couldn't be with him in every sense of the word. I lost all respect for him after that.

This woman also has an article telling her story in the latest issue of Red magazine which I got today. I know she's got a book out telling her story which is why she's doing the publicity rounds. So have I missed something, or is she making money from her story too??
She can try and justify it all she likes with her appearances and articles. But my opinion, which is just as valid as hers, is that it was an ultimately selfish decision. She gave up a child cos it wasn't perfect. When my DD3 was born with an extra chromosome I won't deny that it crossed my mind that "I don't want to do this". But I loved her straight away. And I felt that I would accept her how she is, just as I accept her sisters with their imperfections. I wonder how Immie's sisters will view this as adults.

Imme just didn't fit in her picture picture. She is so shallow. If the woman feels one ounce of regret or questions what she did, that doesn't come across.
I think we all agree that the woman comes across as quite repugnant.

Yes I know what you mean. Bloody hell even Oxbridge graduates end up with disabled kids

Why's she writing forwards on books to do with disability? I find that a bit odd. I find this book a bit odd. It's the detachment. Sort of linking yourself to it without getting your hands dirty. But the whole thing about 'symbolically' still being a parent links in with that.

Obviously I write about disability now. For the moment I live it to. One day presumably I'll write about it without living it day to day, but I I don't see how she can write about it with any sense of understanding with only 5 months as the main carer- and most of that she wasn't even aware that her dd was definitely disabled (as soon as she was she got dumped).

Her story still doesn't add up to me (and I was pondering it at 2.30am when ds1 was being a git and even more at 6am when he was still being a git). I could understand her being given the ultimatum, leaving her dd then leaving beardy and pouring out her grief for her broken family in books. I could understand her doing what she did and it destroying her. But I can't understand her doing what she did, playing happy families with beardy, having another daughter and then writing the book. It's the combination that leaves me open mouthed.

I wonder whether she'll regret it as well. Although perhaps not- judging by the BBC website most people seem to think she did the right thing and that she couldn't possibly be expected to care for her daughter once she found out what she was going to be like. How depressing

It's beardy's "window of opportunity" for a supposed mercy killing that chills me. Like yurt, you do wonder how she could stay with him? Even though my situation isn't strictly comparable, this article just sticks in my mind.

Well they're idiots if so.

Brave to just not bother to turn up and pick up your child. Then chuck all her stuff out.

Really brave.