Mail on Sunday Magazine

[lottiejenkins]

I found this article today..........I thought it was very moving,,,, what a decision that lady made... dont think i could do it though!
www.mailonsunday.co.uk/pages/you/article.html?in_article_id=522925&in_page_id=1908

ooooh yes. our reviews are

there

i have reviewed it.

Ooops, my review has come up as a comment to a review rather than separate!

whay does mine have caboose neaxt to it??

Brilliant post Fio!
And Yurt you have put your finger on it about a reaction. We all have odd reactions at times of major crisis. Thats why major decisions should never be made at such times never mind something as far reaching as abandoning a child! Anouncing it to the world by publishing her account is bizarre.

Flippin' 'eck. Have a read of
this which I stumbled upon through links on Radio 4 page.
Head in the sand or what????

Oh dear God she is parading her story in the Guardian next = tomorrow.

Alongside there will be an article by Tania, which is also [[http://www.motherstory.co.uk/?cat=11 here], which really is very moving.

I still can't get my head around her profiting out of her daughters abandonment. I have actually come to the point were I think the profiteering pees me off more than the abandonment.

This on is even weirder: breaking point How dare she suggest she knows what that feeling is like?- How dare she suggest she knows what it is like to get up night after night for years on end. How dare she align herself with people who are struggling to keep their family together because they want their child to live with them. How dare she think she's the same as people who have had to let their child go because they have finally passed breaking point.

Oh she's just making me cross now.

Yurt, please stop, you are going to make yourself ill. You are needed to much to give your self high blood pressure. (sorry for presuming)

Fio,absolutely fantastic post,you should write a book,well done!
I am so relieved that so many people are coming out against Julia,at the same time I could relate strongly with Richards comments on the bbc board.She has to live with the disgrace of abandoning her baby,because she was not a perfect baby.
I cannot condemn her,I was there and cannot feel hate towards her.Perhaps she is really suffering.I am still convinced she would have done an excellent job of caring for her disabled child,but she was in shock and reacted.What has beardy to say?I wish he would come out and explain how he is feeling now.Does he,with hindsight,regret his reactions?In fairness to this couple they do make an effort to keep in touch with their daughter.I do know of an identical situation but in this case they abandoned the baby completely and had no further contact.The sad thing is I am convinced that the baby would have brought such balance into their artificial glossy lives.

Honestly when you read through her blog it just gets more and more infuriating.

And yes the profiteering p*es me off most of all.

I've replied to RICHARD (perhaps that's beardy- must be a family chum ) on the boards although my messages are being moderated.

that blog is surreal. it's as if the fact she only cared for immie for 5 months is a minor detail.

ha ha I only read 2 pages on the blog.... Just as well.....

yurt maybe you are right Richard is beardy or a family chum.

Time4me, I certainly don't hate her. She was in a very traumatic situation. She did what she thought best at the time.
I do condemn her for writing a book, with its spin that her actions were brave. I condemn the other members of the chattering classes for backing her up in this. These people have the power to present a false picture to the general public, whose lives have not been touched by special needs. And its down to people like us to redress the balance. To show there's another way.
And to expose the flaws in this story. To name some;
that she was at breaking point with a disabled child. She wasn't. She had a baby who was extremely difficult to manage. She had a partner who was a t**t. She had a fear of life with a child with a learning disability. Mental handicap is not glamarous.
Based on all this she made a frightened decison. And its my belief she's now trying to dress it up to be something else, some sort of noble brave decsion.

well her book now only has 1.7 out of 5 stars on amazon.

and I don't think all the reviews are from mn'ers as one is in the states.

yes that's it for me headgirl as well. And the way she did it - should not be being applauded. Even when its hard you don't just leave your child. What sort of message does that send out? Perhaps we should go back to leaving disabled babies on mountaintops to die?

I was thinking today about a book I read a few years ago called "Growing up severely autistic- they call me Gabriel' written by his mother. Gabriel is very profoundly autistic (I've read about him elsewhere as well). Really severe. HIs father died suddenly and his mother was left alone with him and his 2 siblings. Her second son was going to go away to university but went to one close at home so he could help out. Eventually Gabriel moved into residential care and his mother talked about her sadness at not being the one to choose his clothes, at having other people make decisions about him. She talked about the battles with social services (and her battle for a disabled facilities grant mirrors mine, except gabriel feel through a roof rather than put his head through the window a la ds1).

I found the book very hard reading (too close to home). But if people want to read about a brave mother dealing with severe disability. That's the book to read.

Gosh yes Tania's story is very moving. I'd like to read her book!

This bit in particular:

"I don?t think her wider family necessarily understand all that Imogen is capable of. There are things I see Imi do which I know her other family miss out on. I don?t know if they believe me when I tell them all that she has been doing. This makes me sad for them. But it doesn?t bother Imi. It doesn?t matter to her whether she last saw someone five minutes ago or five months ago; she has an excellent memory for people she knows, and she is pleased to see people whenever they turn up. Especially if they bring her clothes."

tania has a blog too

Now browsing this I'm in a world I understand....

Tania's blog is so heartbreaking (the death of her first foster child) and heartening.