Primary School Auties 10: Summer and beyond 2022

[LightTripper]

Thread 10.

Ooops, sorry, filled up the last thread without noticing - here we are at THREAD 10!! (How did that happen?)

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022

Sorry accidentally posted too soon.

But wow, can't imagine ds ever eating anything like that.

Open forest school sounds good. Ugh I know the YouTubers you mean, I am not a fan of the 'pranking' ones. Great he sat down to watch a movie.

Must have been something in the air last night. Ds worked himself up a lot at the transition to bedtime and took a good hour to calm down. I haven't seen him like that in a while.

Hello all, hope you don't mind me joining? Youngest DD has just started in Reception and is at the early stages of getting an autism assessment after her new pre-school flagged traits to us back in March. It's been quite a lonely experience so far so would be good to chat with those in similar positions!

liv I’m not sure I’ve ever seen ds like he was yesterday. Bless him. Honestly I wish I had never let him watch YouTube. If I could go back it’s one of the things I would change. It has benefited him in some ways and he loves it but it’s such a minefield. These YouTube channels are deemed ‘family friendly’ but they largely aren’t and why do they all have to SCREECH constantly? Kindly Keyin is acceptable IMO!

dimples I meant to comment on that - raw egg cake batter yes, on its own not so much. Good quality protein though! Ds used to eat scrambled eggs years ago. Sigh.

Welcome Cathster how is school going so far?

Agreed open. Ds just loves watching gaming walkthroughs so much and like you say he seems to get a lot out of it but I wish it didn't exist! I feel like it's too late to go back now. The screeching is super irritating!

Welcome cathster

Open oh I feel for you, the YouTube screeching channels are awful! My seven year old loves them, luckily DD2 is not so bothered by them and prefers TV shows at the mo.

School has been a rocky start! Every day is a challenge to get her into the classroom, she comes out at the end of the day "fine" and then melts down. Completely expected and normal for her as she is an expert masker but not easy!

The raw egg really turns my stomach but it is cheap, healthy and quick so I try to remember that.

YouTubers drive me mad. DS hardly watches any TV shows or films. He is currently watching Jilly and Addie which is slightly better than the screeching gamers. However, I worry that he will be frightened by it and not tell me. He really struggles to separate pretence and reality.

Welcome Cathster.

Oh God, ds went through a Jilly & Addie phase, I think we did manage to get him to stop watching those, thankfully and then I must have blocked them. He still likes to watch Halloween videos though, mainly Turbo Toy Time’s skatepark ones which are ok.

Cathster what support is school giving her?

Welcome @Cathster ! Gosh that takes me back. DD is autistic (now 8) and we had very tricky drop-offs for most of the Reception year I think. Or at least, they became much better but still "fragile" if something was not as expected. We found a combination of a very familiar routine (same TA taking her hand each morning, same set of goodbye rituals) and distraction (through the goodbye rituals - e.g. we'd always try to do as silly a wave as possible to each other as I left, which seemed helpful in stopping her get too overwhelmed with the transition). We also did a little heart drawn on each other's hands to rub if we felt lonely in the day - I can't remember what it's called now but it was nice and she seemed to like it. I did wonder about adding a transition object but worried about her losing it and being more upset!

Having said that, DS is NT and just going into Year 1 and he's still completely wrecked at the end of the day - super-emotional and all over the place in terms of communicating or even knowing what he wants or needs. So when you think about what our ND kids are going through on top of that it's really hardly surprising they have a hard time. Hopefully as she gets more settled she'll find it much easier.

DD and DS are all about either Minecraft or Pokemon on YouTube/tablets at the moment. Luckily they like the same things really though they still often sit next to each other watching completely different shows on basically the same topic (sometimes even with the same presenter). It makes my head explode but they seem immune to the cacophony!!

Thanks for the welcomes!

The school have been great so far, they want to give her a few weeks to settle in and be able to observe her before implementing any in-school strategies, but they have suggested a few things already - she has a comfort toy she's allowed to take in and we drop her in a little later than the other children to avoid the busy playground. She came home with a visual sheet yesterday of the transition between home and school too so hoping that will help.

@LightTripper that's good to know the drop offs became easier - I've found it's helped already going in a bit later. It's getting her ready and out the house in the first place that's the biggest challenge as she just tries to run and hide!

My two are the same in watching very similar videos on their iPads right next to each other... considering DD2 will screech at us if we dare to talk whilst she's watching her iPad, I don't understand how she's immune to another iPad blaring right next to her!

Yes going in later or earlier is definitely a smart move - we probably should have done that but I didn't think of it! Great that the school seems quite "on it" so far with accommodations and flexibility.

Have you been invited on Early Bird/Early Bird + yet? If not, it can be worth asking about Early Bird +. We had a long wait for it so the actual content was not THAT useful, but for Early Bird + somebody from the school is invited too (usually a 1to1 or class TA) and we found it really good to be able to talk properly to the TA and share ideas etc. Sadly for us it didn't happen until either end of Reception or early Year 1 (I forget which - I think the latter), and then her TA got moved to a different class (🙄) and then Covid hit... but still I think it had value for us and the school.

Ds did not have a good morning at school. I am waiting for the teacher to call to find out exactly what happened.

We are going swimming soon so hopefully that will be good for him from a regulation point of view.

Hi all! @danni0509 good news on the hours but mmph about supervision!
@openupmyeagereyes sorry school was a bit iffy today. Its all ups and downs isn't it? Dies ge have the day off on Mon?
Welcome @Cathster ! Glad mainstream is going OK for now. We were finally offered a Cygnet course a few years ago which I'd recommend doing and I did a PDA Society course which really helped me to understand DS' avoidance of absolutely all demands (and I saw it v strongly in myself too, it was an eye opener! E.g. ahhh so that's why I seem to deliberately sabotage opportunities that would be really good for me etc.)
We are pootling along, DS v happy and bemused about Monday. Had to stop watching the car on the news as it all got v macabre and we had questions about how long the body would be fresh! Umm...so might go to a forest instead!! Escape it all! DS also already counting down the weeks and days until Halloween. I'm just looking forward to half term!!
We also had our kitten castrated yesterday so he's in a right grump with everyone! Excitingly, I sent my first features piece to a magazine that I love reading, so fingers crossed that might go somewhere (you never know!) Just need to make enough at writing and proofreading to quit the day job...easier said than done!

Re youtube, yep, it sent DS really funny and he got dome very odd ideas...things stick in his brain and he's not good at telling the difference between fact and fiction. So I told him it's no linger compatible with android phones or Windows...not my fault, licensing issues!

Sorry to hear your DS did not have a good morning open, hope he's okay and the swimming helps.

I haven't heard of Early Bird or Cygnet, we have just been given a place on Passionate for Parenting with Autism Focus - Early Help Hub kept trying to put us on the generic parenting course so that took a good 6 months to get a place! I'll look into those though, thanks.

Good luck with the magazine susan, quitting the day job sounds a dream!

Dimples the raw egg 🤣 sounds like dh when he was into the gym and protein. Sounds similar to ds with regards to wearing the food, he has to eat in his underpants, he’s such a messy eater. I’m not kidding babies in high chairs make less mess.

open what happened today at school?

Hi to the new people, hi to everyone else. Hope every one is well.

Ds is stealing something every day from school at the minute, he’s coming home with toys in his undies, pockets, up his sleeves, I’m collecting them all and putting them in the big zip pocket at the front of his bag to return, then school aren’t taking them back so he has a backpack full of shitty little toys, this is just today’s, they were in his socks and down his underpants! 🤣🤣 if it continues then his school will have nothing left to play with by Xmas 😂

Then today he’s stole £3 from school, he had it in his hand in the taxi, he told the taxi he took it from X at lunch time, and showed her the money, then when he got out of the taxi he said he’d posted it down the seats of the car so taxi couldn’t retrieve it after looking for 15 minutes, so I have to send £3 in to school tomorrow to replace it. I have no idea if it is from who he said as ds makes up stories on a daily basis, but he’s got it from somewhere at school.

Hows he getting the opportunity more to the point?!

I’ve emailed school as I don’t know how they don’t notice any of this, unless he’s not being watched appropriately……

danni that looks very uncomfortable for underpants! Quite a haul. Do they know you’re sending it back? Why have kids (?) even got cash at school, are they able to buy things?

Ds got upset about something and hit one of the TA’s, then had a bit of a meltdown in reception when we were trying to leave. He’s a bit out of sorts today in general, swimming hasn’t helped though he did enjoy it. I’m looking forward to bedtime!

Oh Danni - he's very resourceful isn't he

Sorry DS had a bad day Open. Hope that he's sleeping peacefully now

Hi I hope people don't mind me posting. My little boy just started in an asd preschool last week. All is going well but I'm not used to having this much free. I think im just digesting everything thats happened over the last few years and all thats happened to get us to this point 🙃 😅

Welcome glittereyelash, enjoy your free time.

Ds had a good day today. A different child really 🤷🏻‍♀️

Glad your DS had a better day today open.

Enjoy the free time glitter, I've had the last 3 days off work whilst kids have been at school, it's been very strange!

DD actually willingly got dressed and ready for school this morning by some small miracle, and although she complained her legs were fired for the whole walk, she went into class without protest. We had the usual meltdown walking home from school. Yesterday's was about a stone, today's was about leaves!

Sounds like she's doing well and not anxious about going @Cathster ! And hopefully a long weekend and a 4 day week next week will be a bit less exhausting for her.

Welcome @glittereyelash ! It's so weird having free time. I'm expecting my work to calm down in 3 or 4 weeks and it's going to be so weird to be able to choose what to do rather than constantly hurling myself from one pressing task to another...

Cathster it’s not really about the stone or the leaves though, they’re just the last straw. It’s really about all the other stuff that’s happened during the day. Can you bring her a snack, take her to the park, anything else you can brainstorm to make the transition easier for her. Alongside, liaising with school to try and make the school day less stressful. It all takes time and a bit of trial and error.

Ds woke ridiculously early today (yesterday he managed 5:30 for dh, a rare event these days) but stayed in his bedroom for nearly an hour listening to Alexa, playing and reading Captain Underpants.

Open** Oh I know, it's the coke bottle effect and that's why there's always something that will trigger her at the end of the day.

We just get the "she's been fine today" from school, which is frustrating. They acknowledge we are getting the meltdowns at home but haven't really suggested anything else.

We've got a good routine when we get home, so she calms quickly, but it's the walk home that's the challenge. Thinking maybe a drink for the way home may help so I'll give that a shot.

Ds got star of the week yesterday, for helping his new friends settle in to their new class and being helpful to staff in showing the children around the school (he’s the only one in the class who was there previously, the others are all new starters)

Bless him.

Hope everyone is ok?

I know what class he’s in now too 🤣🤣🤣