Primary school auties thread 9 - spring / summer 2022.

[danni0509]

Thread 9.

Links to previous threads below.

For the parents / carers of children with additional needs, most of us have asd / adhd children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8

Scrap that, he’s awake. 15 minute nap. 😆

Oh dear danni! Ds still up here, he’s in our bed. He must be tired so hopefully he’ll go down soon… 🙏

danni I hope ds went to sleep properly.

Ds fell asleep in our bed. He slept until about 5:15 but was quite restless so disturbed me a bit and the cat started banging on the door to be let upstairs at 4am which she usually doesn’t do until she hears us awake.

Oh no Open you don’t need the cat getting you up?! Danni I agree the clocks change thing is confusing!

In a mess with this bloody adhd meds. I won’t bore you with loads of detail, I can hardly get my head round the stuff myself and how it works.

So in summary… tried the stimulant (medikinet), 10 mg sent him loopy, 5mg school said had made him a bit of a zombie but on reflection I didn’t feel was so bad. Worst thing though was loads of mouthing so packed that in on their advice and switched to a ‘softer’ non stimulant.

He should be on 25 mg of the non stimulant which according to reports takes 4 to 6 weeks to work ‘when at right dose.’ He was started on 10 mg to go ‘low and slow’ we are now in week 5, there’s no change to his hyperactivity. So on 2 occasions I’ve upped it a bit and on both occasions he’s gone totally mental.

So no idea what the answer is. I must say I find this whole area totally confusing. How can meds designed to calm you down send you hyper? Who takes a paracetamol for a headache and it makes the headache worse???

Totally confused.com….

Day 1 of these bloody juices. Currently on some lemon job…

It’s not quite a bacon sarnie…

carrie it’s how I feel with regards to the adhd meds. Minefield.

Must be tricky with the meds. I guess the brain is just so complex. I hope you can both get the right protocol soon.

Ds was too nervous to go into his classroom today, I don't blame him frankly. He's done a few small bits of work with me at home.

Definitely don't need the cat adding to the mix. She got banned from being upstairs because she started purring round my head at 2am!

I don’t blame him either Open. Hope he’s ok. Was it unprompted with the other child?

I do worry a bit that this will be par for the course at DSs SS!! Whilst he did have a spell of nipping the TA when she was getting him to do stuff he didn’t want to do and whilst he does stuff not understanding it hurts (chewing DDs hair or grabbing to get someone’s attention) he’s never hit anyone out of anger or outburst… yet…

Ha the cat!! 2mg melatonin perhaps? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don’t blame him for not wanting to go into the classroom after his headbutt. Bless him.

Ds isn’t innocent as he hits too but one of the kids scares him shitless. His teacher said ds shakes like a leaf when he sees the kid. (He hit ds before) ds won’t go in the classroom when he’s in there etc.

carrie ds was having a bit of a tantrum about something. I suppose this annoyed the other child, but still. I fully expect that the next time ds has a meltdown about screen time he'll be trying to headbutt us. The thing is, I can't even tell him that it won't happen again, or that he's safe because I can't guarantee that.

open ds seeing it at school has absolutely made him worse at home, his violence has gone through the roof since he started at this school. He never got hit at old school as firstly they are majority NT and know not to do it by this sort of age, and secondly he barely had any time with the other kids (and towards the end, no time at all) so never had chance to get hit in the first place.

Ds had a black eye done on the Thursday before he had covid. School said he fell into a child’s plastic tray, ds said x hit him in the eye with a plastic tray because he touched her. It was right on his cheek bone and bruised all the way up. The black eye was there for 10 days. Then couple of weeks ago he couldn’t move his fingers, I looked to see what was the problem and all his fingers were swollen and blue (they bruised heavily couple of days later) right across all 4 fingers. I said wtf happened! He said x had slammed his fingers in the door at school.

He’s black and blue some weeks!

He has a couple of scars on the top of his arms in the shape of little nails, I said ds what are these from? He said x nipping my arms.

He told me that on Friday X who is 16 chased him on the field and took his shoes off and threw them, I said why? He said because he didn’t like me making noises, I said why was a 16 year old on the field? Where was your teacher? He said x was allowed on the field as it was lunch time, and the teacher was trying to stop him hitting ds.

16 year old hits him, I’ll hit the fucking roof. That I can promise!

His teacher always says ds presses all the kids buttons tho, like that’s an acceptable excuse for ds getting battered.

It’s not, and I’m not happy. I hate him getting hurt, I don’t like him hurting others either. But black eyes and swollen bruised fingers and nip mark scars on his arm and being chased by 16 year olds is going a bit too far.

I know staff can’t keep on top of them all the time but you would think Danni if certain ones are prone to outbursts staff are on hand to try and stop it before anyone gets hurt!

Cross post Danni

Aren’t they supposed to be teaching kids strategies so that they don’t hit others? Isn’t that part of their role at a SS? Or have I got my rose tinted SS glasses on again there??

One of the teachers is always with ds so I think they do intervene. He’s had staff drag one child off him, I mentioned on here before, she had him pinned onto the floor, he gets hit all the time, but he thinks it’s hilarious! he’s getting a reaction so he’s not bothered if he’s getting hurt.

They wrote something in his ehcp about that, because despite him getting hurt he doesn’t know when to call it a day as all he wants is the reaction, never mind about the pain being inflicted upon him. Crazy child! But it was when they were explaining it to me they said he pushes buttons and instigates it, I got the feeling ds was being blamed.

I’m sure they do teach strategies but that it takes kids varying lengths of time to learn. Some kids are more impulsive than others.

This is the first incident. If there is another I will reassess. That’s if he goes back in of course.

Fingers crossed open. We break for Easter on Friday. Anyone else?

Yes, us too.

Yes Friday here too and both kids have half days.

Danni I would not be happy about ds coming home with black eyes and damaged fingers!

Ds has been in a few incident with other kids at ss but no more than I would say at mainstream. His behaviour definitely hasn't changed or got more aggressive.

Glad to hear that liv, gives me hope.

Oh dear, Open, poor DS.

Danni, you would think that they would be a bit better at protecting given that these seem like repeated behaviours.

DS does not have any physical altercations at school but is aggressive towards DD, his young cousins and the extended family's pets (we don't have any due to these behaviours). Eg at the weekend he kicked my Mum's little dog, pushed DD into the swimming pool (she was preparing to jump in) and shoved her over. DD is also pretty aggressive and I'm not sure how much she is copying DS or how much is just her.

We have another week until the end of term. I have signed DS up for a forest school holiday camp at his school the first day of our hols - I have not sent him to any holiday schemes before but I think 1 day at his school is probably manageable...