Primary school auties step into Christmas and the New Year - thread 8

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

How are you Liv, has today been ok? I did think about you, hope it’s been alright and the DC have kept you busy x

carrie presumably this is due to issues with FMS? Does OT say if he has lax ligaments too, or dyspraxia?

Just to say, things are not a Christmassy ‘ideal’ here either. Dh and I cannot watch Christmas films or TV for instance as ds will insist on watching YouTube or playing his game. And though we could watch TV separately in our family room or ds could play his Switch handheld, we wouldn’t then be together. I grew up watching Christmas TV (TPTP!) and films, playing monopoly and card games etc. so it’s very different to my own childhood Christmas but we still had a lovely day

Magrat hope you got some sleep after all that caffeine!

I think it’s more that he has NO imagination Open (which most toys require) and his OT says he just doesn’t see the point. Like, he doesn’t see the point in writing or drawing, has no interest in it. If a child just has no interest in something it’s v v hard trying to get them to do it/ learn to do it / try to do it.

What is he interested in? What does he like to play with?
V hard to get ds to write or draw too, still at almost 8!

Ds a bit more highly strung today. It poured here most of the morning so we haven't been out. Will try and get out in the garden this afternoon and for a walk tomorrow.

liv likewise, I hope yesterday was ok after losing your mum so recently

dimples I hope your gran passes peacefully

It's funny because DS has no real imagination for conceptual playing (like with toys) but he makes up these really complicated stories with all these crazy characters he invents. I read somewhere that we call both things 'imagination' but actually theyre quite different, the first type is more about social imagination but the other is more fantasy creation. Interesting isn't it.
Went to my BILs today with lots of family...DS so over excited, went OK, but glad to be home watching TV playing scrabble!

Thanks Carrie. It was a very busy day, finished off with dd vomiting everywhere! She seems a lot better now. Ds has been very disregulated today.

Open it's been pretty miserable here too, haven't made it out the house today. We did finally get ds in the bath though!!! Major win.

That sounds great magrat. Ds started playing with toys properly in the last year or so, although I'm not sure if he is inventing stories or repeating things he's seen, maybe a bit of both.

It's been so busy here I've not had a massive amount of time to think about my mum, which is weird. I have to start clearing out her house in the next week or so, which will be hard though.

I hope you are ok dimples.

Weather terrible here too. DS started with bad cold which may explain yesterday in part.

Honestly Open he plays with nothing, never has! He never has anything in his hand. His best day ever would be a walk in the woods, then a swim, then a large plate of food. Left on his own in the house his current favourite thing is standing next to the warm radiator watching me, or up to no good… opening the fridge, grabbing the microwave, bouncing on the gym ball, he’s just started trying to skate board down the corridor. I took my eye off him this morning and he dismantled part of the coffee machine…

Thoughts are with you @livpotter and I hope you're OK @dimples76.

The only thing DS likes to invent in imaginative play is various scenarios where someone is breaking the rules, then the police come, but what are the consequences? Drives me nuts!!

It’s weird I’ll say ‘push the car DS’. So he pushes it (once) then looks at me. I can tell it’s like he’s thinking why are you asking me to push a bit of plastic along the floor? How is that fun? What’s it about? Unlike the genuine pleasure he gets/ feels from swimming, running, climbing etc. That’s instant physical feedback.

His old nursery used to say they would give him something and he would drop it, but almost appear to not know he had dropped it, he would just move on. I see him do that now sometimes.

We have the dropping thing too @carriebradshawwithlessshoes

Magrat ds is exactly like that, invents stories that are really vivid / descriptive (annnddd utterly bonkers / insane / bordering on getting himself locked up lol!) but barely plays imaginatively with toys. Like he doesn’t know what to do. He crashes a few cars together and makes crashing type noises but not much more.

Yesterday overall was a good day with ds… today on the other hand. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

But yes ds lives in a complete fantasy world. He struggles to understand what’s real / make believe.

He sometimes stops and asks me if what we are doing at that moment in time is real life or a video game.

He also does things like tries to feed his teddies food and doesn’t understand why they don’t eat the food off the spoon. (Bless him!)

Gah, I lost a post earlier. Will try and redo it later.

Ds loving sausage rolls for everyone, but I am not allowed to sing along! He has taken a massive dislike to the smell of the chocolate chip pannetone that I bought, I think it must be a citrus issue as he really dislikes citrus smells. Massive drama every time we have some, thankfully it's almost finished.

Food at Xmas is interesting isn't it!
Thanks for your support on that other thread @openupmyeagereyes. I get so sad abd cross when I read stuff like that about 'cures'.

Whatever we’re doing it must be the opposite of a cure. Ds is more obviously autistic now than at 3!

Ds too!

No idea what thread your talking about but I get into a lot of arguments on threads on here regarding autism nearly always with people who don’t have autistic kids.

Everyone’s an expert danni!

Did ds eat any Christmas dinner?

Open I put 4 pigs in blankets, 2 potatoes and a load of carrots in his bowl, he ate the carrots which he does like carrots so I thought he would, but he was making sick noises at the other bits and wouldn't eat it, he did eat some trifle though and a mince pie which he hasn't eaten before.

Just meals he doesn't eat, tonight I did him a kids mini pizza which he sometimes eats (he didn't want it and threw it in my wash basket ) a raw carrot chopped up (he eats them raw all the time) some cucumber and a few breadsticks, then a banana and a mini pot of custard. He ate the rest but not the main bit which was the pizza. That's all his eaten for his tea and that will be it until tomoz when he will have a brunch bar for his breakfast.

He's really skinny, is your ds?

Oooo which thread was that? Not seen either. I’m not sure there can be a cure for autism as I don’t think it’s one thing, as discussed all our children present differently. So which aspect of all the things we chat about would you be seeking to ‘cure’?!!

I do think there’s certain things that are common which can be hopefully improved with specific therapies, such as speech delays with SALT or whatever but that’s a specific issue not ‘autism’ per se ….

It was an old thread someone had reignited about people having 'success' with ABA...I have issues with ABA as it is essentially dog training for vulnerable children. No your child isn't not autistic now, you've just trained them to stop self soothing behaviours like stimming etc because it makes things more 'normal' for you. Just really gets to me. I know aspie adults with huge trauma caused by it. I want to give my DS the tools to make life easier, as we all do on this thread, but I'd never want him to.not be his authentic self which we all agree with too I think. Anyway, @openupmyeagereyes gave me some support on there and it was much appreciated.

Well that’s not quite how Magrat put it on the thread

I do think it’s important to listen to autistic adults though. I saw a book recommendation on a thread like that called Raindrops on Roman I think, and read it out of interest. It was about a woman who devised a programme for her autistic son and spent hours every day running him through these ‘drills’. She basically kept him hidden away from her family until he was at the point where he presented as ‘normal’ and could greet her brother with a handshake and a polite greeting. It was such an uncomfortable read. I wonder what he will have to say about it all when he’s older.

I think these things are done with good intentions, if misguided. It’s just so contrary to the paradigm we seem to be heading towards which is against parents in general trying to mould their children into what they think is best or what they wish they had been or done, and not letting them be their authentic selves. It’s not just a ND issue.