Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Primary school auties step into Christmas and the New Year - thread 8

999 replies

openupmyeagereyes · 09/12/2021 13:45

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
danni0509 · 17/02/2022 14:51

Ds school are going to be fuming, CAMHS have changed ds appointment and its now not until may, (also not face to face now, it’s a telephone appointment). His school were hoping to drug him up good and proper in a couple more weeks. 🤣 (Asif!)

How’s half term going for everyone? What’s the weather forecast? It’s forecast 70mph wind here tomorrow.. ds hates the wind. Obviously I won’t be going out, but it howls in the house if really bad and we are surrounded by trees and the branches lash and make such a racket and it really unsettles him.

carrie ds school would love that! They want the kids quiet and subdued, I swear that’s what they strive for so they have less of a workload! I hope you get sorted, don’t not give him it though on their say so, also opposite for me, I won’t give more on their say so. Fuckers! They need to step back in line. Since when do schools think they have so much authority over your child. That’s what winds me up with ds school, since when have teachers been qualified enough to advise on potent medications etc.

They really don’t want your ds and that’s why you can’t do right for doing wrong. I got on with ds old school fine. They were lovely to me and ds, well apart from all the discrimination, but generally they cared about him, the staff were motherly and liked him is what I’m trying to say, but during year 2 they turned on me like I’d never seen. Phoning me daily, making me collect him left right and centre and being utter dickheads, could not believe how awful they were after 2 years of no real issues with them. (Apart from the discrimination as I say, that started the first day he started with the reduced hours etc)

Any idea about the new school for ds? I don’t remember you updating x

MagratLancre · 17/02/2022 15:05

Our half term is going OK so far thanks @danni0509. We've been to a couple of local crafting type things at museums (although DS thinks everything is a race at the mo so a crafting session doesn't last long!) Met up with a friend with a DS similar to mine, they got on OK! Spent yesterday in and managed some garden time. Trampoline paying for itself again!! Had some work done on the house today which has unsettles DS a bit. Nothing planned for tomorrow, we have 70 mph winds predicted too and I'm a bit worried! I went out with a friend on Tues night, which was very welcome and chilled me out!
I love spending time with DS and really look forward to half term but i do struggle to fill the time, we end up going out so much and I spend a fortune on lunches out, sweets, etc. We have also watched the number blocks/ alphablocks crossover eps a billion times already and done soooooo much maths argh!! Also read some interesting books and I'm trying to introduce some toys from Xmas that he's not bothered with yet.

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:08

Half term has not been too terrible here… I will be relieved when I have a few hours respite Monday though.

I took ds to Tesco with my sister and nephew this morning (he’s 10 months old) we parked at my sisters and walked (30 minutes) to get out for a bit longer, we went to the cafe afterwards and ds was lovely to him, he fed him a baby pouch, kissed him etc, he was ok in Tesco on the promise of a trifle. He went up and down in the lift. Was really nice. And we were out about 3 hours in total. Only the fourth time ds has seen my nephew and it went better than last time after ds tried to suffocate him with a cushion and tip him out of his push chair!

Then on the way back, all went to shit, main road, a dog was behind us on a lead, I had ds arm and he shit himself when he see the dog, started darting away but fell back onto some sticks on the floor and well that was it, he was trying to get into the road, run after the dog to hit it, kicking out at the pushchair, so difficult on a busy main road, my sister said all cars were staring, it was like I was wresting a crocodile to keep him off the road, It must’ve of looked like I was filling him in 😒😆 I had him by the scruff of his coat dragging him back off the road! You have to really manhandle him to keep him safe. It’s either that or his life! He was nearly in the middle of all that traffic!!

Stressful. But other than that, no issues 😂

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:10

We went to the library yesterday @MagratLancre I thought of you when I was there! We read some stories in the story corner.

carriebradshawwithlessshoes · 17/02/2022 15:14

Just spoken with them actually! The upshot was they said that they were concerned and adhd meds should not make a child less sociable etc. She said that this was a common story when younger children take adhd stimulant meds… whilst they are seen as the best and most effective she said they are often too heavy for very young kids or very light ones (DS is both!!). Her recommendation therefore was a non stimulant which is slower acting but apparently ‘softer’. So that’s what they want to try. She did say it is unfortunately trial and error…

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:15

I would like ds to try a non stimulant carrie. I’ve said before. I think it would help ds with his anxiety (he is very very anxious, and stimulants make that worse) it’s what I need to speak to CAMHS about, in may now!

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:17

Yes deffo trial and error! Ds child phycologist said it takes around 12 months to find a medication that you settle on.

MagratLancre · 17/02/2022 15:19

Sounds a stress @danni0509, DS has also taken his racing theme to when we're walking, and darted off a few times again towards roads. He insists he's old enough...argh! We have talked about how when he's 16 he can, but for now tell.mummy when you want to cross a road and we can cross together etc, but it's so hard as if I show too much that I'm worried he will act our more as my fussing makes him annoyed apparently! I can imagine with a random dog as well, and being tired, and after coping so well round tesco etc, it all just bubbling over. Sounds like you handled it really well! My DS is so big now and almost as tall as me, I find it hard when he darts off!
I'm going back to the library soon but I have to find all our books first...!

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:30

I have his arm / hand tight magrat, I could never let go when we are out, he deffo can’t be trusted, but he was trying to get away like fight and flight mode dragging me with him because I had hold of him. He was terrified. And he just does not realise, that the road is the last place you escape too, but obviously he just doesn’t understand the dangers associated with it, and why that’s not the best idea!

He then lost the plot and started kicking the pushchair and whacking me becuase I wouldn’t let him get onto the road into ‘his presumed idea of safety’ and that’s when I nearly tore his coat off his back with all my strength keeping him back off the road.

It’s so bloody stressful. It’s one of the reason we don’t tend to go out much. He’s too unpredictable with things like that.

Scary to think, he’s scared of a dog (or insert what ever other thing, sometimes his shadow!) so rather than let the dog come past him, he’d rather choose to be under a double decker bus.

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:32

He’s chilled now watching blippi make a cherry popsicle on the iPad, lol.

Blippi is what actually started his obsession off with crushing cars, who thought it was a good idea to smash a car up with lump hammer on a child’s programme !!

MagratLancre · 17/02/2022 15:35

Oh I know we saw that episode, and the one where he covers a car with ketchup, and had to have A Talk about why we don't fo that in real life!!

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:45

I told ds he only crushes the cars that don’t work anymore, he wanted to know how long until they don’t work anymore, so I told him cars last about 15 years, so he checks the numbers on the reg plates and try’s to work out how many more years left. He’s quite good at this now.

Except for those sneaky cars that last longer than 15 years (how dare the owners cause me more questioning!!) I told him those cars are collectibles 😆

We went to a Volkswagen garage a few weeks ago, to walk around all the cars so ds could work out how long each car had left. The man came out to see if we needed any help 😂 I think he thought we were planning on buying one, you know the normal thing you go walking around random car garages for!!

The random things you have to do!

danni0509 · 17/02/2022 15:48

My car is a 60 plate. He says all the time, mum you have 3 years remaining until I crush your car 🤣

openupmyeagereyes · 17/02/2022 17:35

danni that trip home sounds stressful but ds did great until then. Hopefully in three years he'll have forgotten about crushing your car!

carrie when can you start the new meds? I love private docs, everything is so fast. I've seen a few over the last couple of years for perimenopause issues and I love it. They email you over the weekend, it's all so convenient. I appreciate I am lucky to be able to afford it though.

We've had a quiet week, ds hasn't really wanted to do much. We went to the park and my mum's yesterday and to the toy shop today. I was hoping we could go to the zoo tomorrow but it looks like that's now weather dependent so we'll see. Seeing other grandparents this weekend.

Ds still obsessed with his game and YouTube, though he's done some more drawing and some other bits with me and we always read lots and listen to audio books and play in the garden.

Magrat I'm back to listening to Circe after a bit of a break. I'm over half way through now.

Light I meant to get back to you about Matt Haig. I haven't read any of his kids books but I downloaded the Midnight Library on Audible so I'll get to that at some point. I need to balance listening to podcasts with my audio books!

OP posts:
danni0509 · 17/02/2022 17:50

I’ve got the midnight library. I haven’t read much of it though.

openupmyeagereyes · 18/02/2022 11:34

According to my weather app, winds are 35mph here so far. Anyone got worse yet?

Ds still up at early o'clock, we had that one better night.

OP posts:
danni0509 · 18/02/2022 11:45

I just checked my weather app, It’s 28mph here open. Apparently 4 o clock we are getting the winds, as long as ds trampoline doesn’t blow off (it’s not tied down) then I’m ok.

We have been to home bargains this morning, I needed some cleaning spray and ds wanted a creme egg. I said I’d buy him one as long as he held my hand in the shop and was good (he was) then I took him for a half hour drive.

Nothing much planned for this afternoon.

Yesterday ds got all his books out and had me checking each page of each book! for the word BUT he wanted to record how many ‘buts’ were in each book.

You literally know you have an autistic child when they are the sort of activities they choose 🤣

carriebradshawwithlessshoes · 18/02/2022 11:47

Mild breeze in North Yorkshire!! I’m waiting!

carriebradshawwithlessshoes · 18/02/2022 11:50

Was thinking about a trip to shops but then thinking is that a bit rash 🤣🤣. #carriebradshawblownoutoflkbennett. It’s my last day of freedom before HT!! I do stupid stuff like that cos I never believe it will happen.

Hope everyone’s having a good one!

danni0509 · 18/02/2022 11:54

Oh don’t worry carrie i’ll think of you next week when I wave ds off into his taxi and do a roly poly back into the house 😂

39 weeks a year of school is ridiculous, it should be 59 weeks minimum!!

openupmyeagereyes · 18/02/2022 12:17

I keep looking and thinking it's not that bad and we should go out as planned. Probably best not to here though, we are on the borderline of the red zone I think. Some tall trees in our garden too. We had one come down a few years ago. luckily just across the garden so only some fences damaged.

Spare a thought for those of us who don't (yet) get to wave their dc off to school each day! Envy

OP posts:
danni0509 · 18/02/2022 12:26

open when you finally do get to wave ds off I’m coming to wave him off with you Grin it’s been a long time coming!

Hopefully not much longer for you now x

openupmyeagereyes · 19/02/2022 12:10

We were supposed to be going to the in-laws' today but ds has refused to go so dh has gone on his own.

I'm rather fed up tbh.

OP posts:
carriebradshawwithlessshoes · 19/02/2022 14:18

Because of this Open or HT generally? I don’t mean to down play but I’d avoid the Inlaws if I could…..🙄

dimples76 · 19/02/2022 14:32

Are you feeling trapped in the house, Open?

I received further evidence from the LA late yesterday afternoon ahead of our tribunal hearing next month. I feel rather bullied and it sickens me to think how much resources the LA is putting into stopping my son getting occupational therapy. I need to get back in touch with my anger to fight back but I just feel exhausted, the kids are being tricky and I only have until Tuesday to respond.

On the much brighter side DS has been unusually affectionate with me recently and keeps stroking me which is rather lovely.