I wish I had these worries...

[mm22bys]

I am sorry, I don't know if this is acceptable or not (and won't do it again if it isn't), but I am sure we all on here wish we just had these "worries"!

here

I think it is perfectly fine for you to feel that way, of course compared to your worries it is trivial. However also to that mum it is a worry. just have to respect others but still be able to air your grievances which I think we all like to do from time to time even if it isnt on a public forum.

The OP posted it in SN, how she felt. Perfectly valid and SN mums understand.

I understood and tbh it made me smile as I understood so well.

I wasn't saying it isn't valid to feel that way

it is

Yes thats true. I now know who I can and can't moan to! I have some wonderful understanding friends from before DD who I don't know what I would do without but yeah not many! Its as if you have to reassure people sometimes isnt it? Particularly in the case of family members. At times I feel like some of them just keep actually coming out with all the stuff I worry about but am too scared to voice, then argue with me when I try to reassure myself and them.

heh, I've had that although at first my mum did the denial thing. When I told her dd would never walk and talk she kept saying 'you're so negative'. I gave her leaflets explaining how CP just doesn't get better.
Gave up in the end

OOps have missed a bit whilst posting! I can totally understand OPs feelings. Actually though, strangely, I read the thread in question with interest cos my DD condition has a less severe form which can cause very fast growth. In the OP's (on the height thread) though it does not apply as this would be accompanied with poor weight gain. I worry about stuff that would seem trivial to some though, there is always someone worse off as certain relatives are fond of telling me!

I can't keep up! NMC yes sounds similar! We had a definate diagnosis from v early on but I still have to explain things. The other thing I am most definately not allowed to do is complain about the hospital/any professionals. Of course I know they are helping and that they are busy but there are only 2 kids at our hospital with her condition so I think I hae to be proactive! Some family members think I am unreasonable I am sure!

It sickens me that people can have so little understanding and empathy. How can people possily talk about 'it' when 'it' is a child?

And don't we all have these gut wrenching feelings of anger and frustration and hurt about something in our lives. Don't we all, at some time, say 'Dear God you think that is a problem?'

My sons sn are minor, they are not an issue for us in any real way, but I remember feeling just that way when a 'friend' spent hours moaning about how awful her new born was, when i had just had a MC that left me infertile for a year and needed surgery to put it right. She knew my situation, but was so wrapped up in herself she just chuntered on. It didn't make me feel good about myself, but I simply couldn't stop my feelings.

I don't know anyone who could.

When my father had cancer people used to say to him, 'But look at X, he is in a worse state' and my father used to think, 'yes, so, how does that me me feel any better about the crap I have to deal with?' And my dad was as compasionate a person that I have ever met

Its the depth and effect of the concern though, isn't it?

pale pink and cerese are both pink, but they are not the 'same' are they?

I think that it is really for us to understand that the situation just isn't the same.

I would never dream of telling an asian person what racisim is 'like' for them.

the same is true for the poeple on the SN board, I think. Life is just so vastly different.

the op has said sorry on another thread.
Maybe linking wasn't a good idea. And in her op she does ask if it is acceptable.
I think though for someone to come on the sn board and "shout " at her is uncalled for.

I think sometimes axiety, and worry and grief over whelp people. Those of us who are fortunate not to be overwhemd on a daily basis, but things that directly affect our children, need to take a step back, and have some understanding.

The SN board is a place for people to discuss things with those who best understand them.

This is why the SN board became an 'opt in' option.

themildmanneredjanitor i didn't mean you (hun)

live and let live,

everyone has things that are difficult for them to deal with, but their worries/fears are huge to them, thats ok surely.
i often smile and think to myself oh if only but i wouldn't say it to anyone. Why should my problems be seen as any more important than the next persons.
when you have a problem it feels huge and you really do think its the end of the road, time often shows us it is only a bend in the road but you didn't feel like it was at the time. the skilll is in
ignoring the post knowing the difference

TBH if the thread was in Sn I'd see point of OP, but its in health and so don't think its fair to finger point or link to thread. Poeple are taught to take the percentile charts into account, and frankly if we can answer threads about what shirt should I choose- mauve or aubergine then surely we can understand a woried Mummy?

Linking was a mistake (because the OP might see it), but I think the feelings are perfectly valid and acceptable. I don't read the OP as mocking someone else, I read it as her being upset by her situation.

I a=gree, but somtimes it all gets too much, and with all the best of intentions things can spill over.

I suppose you could say the same to me. I posted on the 'Name 5 things you dislike about your dh' I posted that the 5 things I dislike are all that he is dying. people on that thread could say that their issues are as important to them, as mine are to me. And I can't argue with them, I suppose because I don't know their lives. For all I know their dh farting is a real issue for them (and I'm not really being sarcastic here)

But at that particular point my worries and upsets overwhelmed me.

people were kids and understood, I think, the reason for my outburst.

We need to have the same kindness here , I think.

people were kind not people were kids!

I appreciate how frustrating it must be when you child has very serious problems to see someone fretting about what, to you, seems very minor. (At least, I don't, really, given that fortunately my ds doesn't have SN, but I can see the logic). But that's the human condition - people don't do a quick run down of the problems of every other human being before they start worrying about their own. Otherwise none of us would ever post, given that we are lucky enough to live in a developed country and don't have anything like the problems of a mother in Darfur, or Burma, or Iraq, or lots of other places.

i would agree. And I'm sure that the mothers on the SN board do this every day. Beacuse this sort of thread isn't a common thing. But sometimes things 'burd=st through' and we have to understand that that is a human response too.