Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

DD has had two massive meltdowns this evening. She's so tired and has got the first performance of the Nativity tomorrow and then another one on Thursday.

Thank you Little.

I hope your dd is ok and that the play goes well tomorrow.

I hope it goes well today Little, and that your DS had a better night Open.

All good here, but last week of term and I'm glad! DD is booked in for a couple of days of holiday club next week, but otherwise nothing much (and no more weekend plans until we go to my parents for Christmas), which she (and we!) really need. The weekend away was good but a lot of driving, and DD was definitely quite highly strung - lots of sensory seeking behaviour I suppose (squealing, funny voices, lying on the floor). Not distressed or unhappy so nothing bad really, but she was definitely a bit overwhelmed and I can tell she's super tired. She's running on pure adrenaline at the moment with her school Christmas party last Friday (which she loved) and nativity this week: I suspect we might have a bit of a crash at the weekend, but we've nothing planned so that's fine, we can just take it easy and let whatever needs to come out come out!

Sounds like a good idea to gave a quiet weekend planned light hope your DD enjoys the Nativity this week.

No Nativity for DD today, she woke up with a croaky voice and her tonsils are absolutely huge! Got GP booked for this afternoon as noticed some white spots too on tonsils. She's just eating an ice cream and watching Hey Duggee now.

Hope your DS is feeling better open?

Oh no, your poor dd Little. I hope she’s ok. Ds had tonsillitis over Christmas when he was two. That was when he dropped most of the foods he ate.

Light good to plan some downtime this weekend knowing dd might need it. Hopefully she can recharge before Christmas.

Ds is better today though a bit subdued. He’s tired and still not eating a great deal, it takes him a while for his appetite to get back to normal. He had a better night, woke a couple of times, but I didn’t sleep well at all. Each time I woke up it took me ages to fall asleep again. I’m hoping for better tonight. I’m still feeling poorly today but hopefully getting better. We’ve had a better day anyway as ds is much less highly strung than he has been the last couple of days.

Can you take some Nightnurse or something to help you sleep tonight open, if your DH us able to take the night shift that is. Not always possible!

little hope DD is better soon.

We had the nativity today. DS coped v well. He chewed on a bean bag for about 1/4 of it. He made everyone laugh - 'come on Mums and Dads, you're meant to be joining in' and interrupted the headteacher's speech to say that we should be clapping the teachers. He said afterwards that it was a lot of fun. Unfortunately I had a call in the afternoon asking me to pick him up early as he needed a bath/shower after a toileting accident.

Open hope that you get some sleep tonight and feel better soon.

dimples what a star your ds is. I’m glad he enjoyed it

Thanks for the sleepy wishes. Another early night for me. I’m definitely feeling better than yesterday so hopefully tomorrow will be the last of it (ds was poorly 3 days). Now waiting for it to strike dh...

That is so sweet Dimples! Glad he enjoyed it

Hope you get that well needed sleep open and you never know, your DH might be spared. We have a weird system in this house where DD and I usually get the same bugs and DH get separate ones, despite us living in each others pockets! Must be down to biology or microbiome or something.

DD a bit perkier this evening, GP wanted to hold off on antibiotics for now and see how next couple of days go. Fingers crossed it's just viral.

I hope dd is better today Little.

Another rubbish night here, ds is now getting a cold and he hates it when his nose is blocked in the night. He’s been awake since 2:50 and up (with dh) since 4.

He’s already saying he doesn’t want to go to school today. Sigh.

Oh no open that is just too early! This time of year is just awful for bug after bug.

In Sweden you can buy decongestant nasal spray for children over 2 which really helps with the blocked noses (although DD hates it if course!). We've run out of the one I brought back last summer now so am relying on burning olbas oil in DD's room (on a high shelf) to help with blocked nose. She can't sleep with a blocked nose either.

We used to use a saline spray but he stopped letting us. I might get some and try again.

He’s a right grump today. His new favourite phrase is: mummy/daddy let me speak (said in his best whiny voice)

Hope all the poorly children get better soon.

We break up end of next week here so still over a week to go. No hitting at school since the last incident a fortnight ago but plenty of accidents, I think we are going to have to involve the incontinence team now since ds is 6 next month. We go one step forwards 10 steps back. He hasn't worn a nappy in the day for nearly 9 months now and some weeks we are as bad as the first week.

Ds had no Xmas cards, then yesterday he got one from a teacher, I'm sure it will be a repeat of last year were he got completely left out (!) luckily he doesn't understand about cards etc but it's not the point.

Ds knows the days of the week if I say what day is it today ds he says Thursday then I say so what day was yesterday? he'll say Wednesday and then what day is it tomorrow ds? and he'll say Friday and so on. Took a lot of practising but I thought it was pretty clever!

Oh that's bad timing open! We use olbas oil drops or "snufflebabe" too which seems to help. I also find a humidifier can be quite helpful (I used it myself when I was pregnant and couldn't take the good drugs!) Do you think DS would be OK with that or would he not like the noise? The old fashioned alternative (what my Mum used to do!) is to wet a hand towel and hang it over the radiator to make the room more humid. Might be worth a try if he's bunged up? Also good for coughs.

Sorry to hear about DS's accidents danni though good there's been no more hitting. Incontinence team sounds a good call, though hopefully it might get better in the holidays? I know I am like a stuck record but I do think they get so so so tired at the end of term. That's hard with the cards - I would have thought parents would make their kids do all the class or none? I was a bit horrified that some of DD's class started to send cards after the weekend, but her nanny just blitzed it with her last night (I know I am a jammy sod) and managed to do everyone (small class sizes help). My job is to do her teachers tonight (which is more than it sounds as she wants to do the Head, Deputy Head who does their music/show, SENCO and office person - so with teacher and 2 TAs that comes to 7). That's totally doable in half an hour though, right? Right? We are not crafting, so I think it's doable.

We now have a couple of little bits scheduled in for this weekend but all close to home, and my big work deadline got postponed to February (!) so feeling a bit more relaxed now and looking forward to the weekend and catching up properly on sleep and some Christmin (that sounds a bit wrong?! I am not administering Christ ... but you know what I mean).

hello everyone,
How is everyone and dc's? Is all that were/are ill feeling any better?
How did all the nativities go?
Sorry i am so rubbish at keeping up.
Ds is getting worse, he manged 1 out of 3 nativities. He didn't manage to go into school at all yesterday after stood out in the rain for 15 minutes with him screaming deputy head told me to take him home he then spent the afternoon worry he was in trouble for not going to school saying things like hes selfish and ashamed of his behaviour but then melting down the next minute saying i just cant do it.
The head is trying to push us to move ds as her staff have done all they can that they can see his mask slipping and hes often very withdrawn. She says hes no longer the ds they all know and that they know hes telling everyone gp etc that its school and that fact we have another ds in school is perfectly fine proves no home issues and we have allowed everyone in like child well being and home start who all assessed us and reported back to school that home environment is fine ds told them too its school. So dh sent the head a email cc'ing the LA and sendiass into it asking why they told the la they can meet his need and he has no issues only attendance when they told us Monday they cant do anything for him. What does she honestly think a managed move to another mainstream school is going to achieve? Why should ds really have to move to get the needs meet that you clearly told the la you can meet?
We are in the situation where no one comes to meet ds anymore as he runs of from them and he tells everyone he hates all of them the school the kids due to it being to noisy to much people shouting he needs to move not sit at a desk all day and that since moving to the big play yard playtime are too much. These aren't things that are likely to be any different in another mainstream school as all the school round us are 2 form intake the only one that isn't is a church school that is full. We have been round them all.
We spent all off yesterday me and dh on the phone to LA trying to get a phone number to get a mediation certificate to appeal and they sent us from department to department till giving us a number that keeps going to voicemail. we finally got the number form another parent. There is a tribunal sendo ( which i have been informed doesn't exist) wanting to meet with us to 'rationalise' why ds doesn't need a EHCP.

Sorry about the accidents danni, hope things improve over the holidays. DD is still in nappies for no 2s despite all our efforts. DD's school isn't breaking up until next Friday, such a long term!

DD has got 2 cards, one form her teacher and one from the son of the PTA rep, who I would imagine made him write one for everyone. DD doesn't seem bothered by it though.

Hope your DD enjoys her last day tomorrow light, so sweet that she wants to do cards for Senco and office people too

Hope your have an ok day despite the lack of sleep open, did your DS stay at home today?

DD is still home today but might send her in tomorrow if she's better as it's the school panto (to watch) as well as Christmas jumper day so should be a 'fun' day.

Your such a good mum Harley just wanted to let you know that

Oh, and DD had her first party invite. It's from a little girl on our street and her mum has just invited all the girls in the class. I am a little bit worried about it but the mum knows about DD's ASD so will hopefully understand if we need to leave early.

I'm so sorry to hear the latest about your DS school Harley

They just go from bad to worse don't they Harley? On the positive side, the fact that they've said this to you will hopefully help get the EHCP in place. Maybe a move to another school where trust isn't broken could work if you have an EHCP and the right supports in place, and the right staff at the school? It's so frustrating when you know your DS can enjoy school with a bit of support in the right places. I hope SENDIASS or the LA can help get you to a solution.

Hope the kids are feeling a bit better littleswede and open.

Christmin is the perfect word light. You can totally get the cards done!

Harley I'm sorry your ds is having such a stressful time. The school and the LA are treating you so badly.

Danni that's brilliant about the days of the week. Sorry that he's been having accidents though

Ds didn't manage to do his nativity yesterday. I think he probably had a lovely time playing with Lego in the classroom. I did feel a bit sad about it but then again if he had been there I probably would've been worried about how he would behave.

Otherwise all ok here apart from me having a stinking cold and trying not to be a grump!

danni I’m sorry that toileting is still an issue and that ds hasn’t had any cards yet this year. I’ve only just written ds’ so there’s still time. I agree with Light, I send a card to everyone in ds’ class. I can’t be doing with leaving people out. Great that he’s learned the days of the week so well. You are so good at helping him to learn and you don’t give up, he’s lucky to have you

Light cards aren’t totally doable if you’re not crafting. I set up ds to make 6 but so far he’s refusing. I’ll end up having to do it myself like last year! Christmin sounds like it could end up in the OED - trademark (?) it now!