Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

I didn't vote for him either but I think (and hope) he is being guided by the experts on this one, which is somewhat reassuring.

Though, the experts are also having to base their advice on lots of assumptions, many of which will turn out to be wrong, which is less reassuring. And our NHS is underfunded at the best of times, which is also not reassuring.

Anyway, I am taking the advice to heart and working from home from tomorrow... wish me luck! Just downloading my last bits now....

danni I am a lot older than you!

Light I hope so too.

I used to see Boris a lot when he edited the Spectator and I worked in London. He used to be on HIGNFY a lot then too. Who’d have thought he’d end up as PM.

Totally agree there are no easy answers here.

Danni way older than you (43)

Hello everyone,
I hope your all well and your dcs are doing well.

We are doing good with the home educating.
We are still going thought hell with the whole school stuff.
We have been accused of fabricating illness. We had a well being worker coming last year. During her first visit she questioned me and dh on how we managed when only dh works and they she qiestion us on benfits we have if we have debt behind exact. All which she asked nothing we actually said. She discharged us from her services in august 2019 yet went into a meeting in novemeber 2019 and told everyone that we as parents are unable to parent as we have a diagnosis of autism. That the fact i have anxiety and even though i have cbt and meds and its medically proven i have massively improved she doesn't believe this is the case. Apparently we make ds appear worse for dla benefits.
During this meeting where we were discussed but not allowed and only found out last Tuesday (meeting was novemeber). They disccued ds needs and signed each off them off as no need. Things like he has fine and gross motor skill issues but as theres a couple others in the class the same then that means hes same as all year ones hench no need. They say that even though incontinence nurse scanned and proved he doesn't empty his bladder properly and that she believes he still has incontinence issues that shenonly says this as she didn't include school and that they believe that we give him his laxido wrong on purpose to ensure that he had accidents in school. I have been accused of holding him back because i continued to tell them to not touch him. Apprently he runs away from me at school and hides outside but has attachment issues from me. They say that ep and others won't get involved as he has no needs. They say he has no iep yet we have a pupil profile they gave us in October detailing all his needs and his support and specialst input that he needed to enusre he reached targets in reception class. They have changed the intermittent care policy before sending it to LA as evidence which means the one they sent we hadn't seen and hasn't been signed by us or the school. The changing side they have sent a black sheet with nothing on.
They have continued to tell us that hes making progress but upon doing a assessment which apparently took place on 6th march when we actually removed him on the 24th February. Then assement concluded that hes made no progress at all in every area a part from maths which hes made exactly the progress he should have a meeting age realted goals. Apparently this is parents fault because of his attendance and the fact that we didn't manage to read more than a couple of pages a night. The school also decided that instead of putting him down as absent they marked him down as educated else where. The school as soon as we deregistered sent elective home education a referal agree with us and also stating they now had no safe guarding issues. Ss told school they couldn't find any issues on the 7th February they had no issues and couldn't find any issues.
We have a younger son at the school who os doing excellent but apparently according to the well being women and school that doesn't me we can parent and that we are good its just that we are lucky hes a good child.

My grandma also passed last week.

We aren't closing due to coronavirus at the moment either our school are being nasty about attendance to be honest. They sent a mass text out this morning stating about unauthorized attendance if theres no symptoms in the family.

Hope you're all feeling ok today Lottie.

Open our school sent us this: https://www.tes.com/teaching-resource/child-friendly-explanation-of-coronavirus-by-manuela-molina-12267168
A nice child friendly explanation!

I also think there will be a lot of screen time. I imagine Disney plus will make an absolute killing!

Same here dimples. Ds is completely oblivious, dd is a bit confused. Do you think it will delay the adoption?

Glad you managed to get things you need from Morrison's danni.

Same here light. A lot of ds's class are out. Dd is at home with a tummy bug. Childcare is going to be a nightmare for everyone!

Glad the home educating is going well harley. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all the nonsense still! I'm sorry about your grandma too

Ds's school is still open but they have said you can keep kids off if you want. I'm torn because I'm desperate for the respite but DH would prefer to keep the kids at home. I really can't imagine they are going to learn much stuck at home with me!

At least we have nice weather!

Harley good work on the homeschooling but it must continue to be v stressful for you. Sorry for your loss.

Liv - I don't know if it will affect the adoption. I think probably not unless either DS and me or foster family develop symptoms in the next week and have to self isolate for 2 weeks. I have been tossing and turning all night. I know what you mean re school. I am working from home this week and I could keep DS off but that would mean lots of evening/night work for me and rather boring days for DS. He doesn't have any health conditions that put him at greater risk. That said last night I stood watching my beautiful boy sleeping and felt very torn.

Harley bless you, your getting a really rough ride with everything x

Harley I’m sorry for the loss of your grandma. When the schools close, at least you will not have to worry about them

liv I’m quite excited about Disney Plus. We ordered a Nintendo Switch for ds today. He’s going to need as much entertainment as possible and at least it’s not YouTube!

dimples hopefully the adoption will go ahead and you can stock up on baby supplies ok.

We are self isolating. I have a cough and have found nothing helpful on what is ‘persistent’ but will assume it warrants 14 days at home to be sure.

I managed to get a Tesco slot for two weeks time, we have plenty of food here in the meantime.

I had my first tears over it all today. Amazon delivery guy dropped our parcel (ds Easter present) on the doorstep and waited at the edge of our property for me to open the door. It’s so sad.

Is everyone set up to get the Gov.uk emails?

No: is that a corona thing?

WFH today. Not getting a huge amount done but seeing it as a settling in day so I think that's OK. DD's school is closed from tomorrow, so we need to start getting into a new routine. Luckily DS's nursery is still open for now, so that will cover the mornings so we can do most of DD's school work then or during DS's nap. I doubt we will get more than a few more days though ... anyway, in the scheme of things we are very lucky (can work from home, have enough space) - so need to count our blessings.

Yes, you can sign up for CV updates. They send several updates a day.

Dh set me up otherwise I would post a link.

I hope it all works out dimples. I know I felt the same this morning but I spoke to the head of early years this morning and she reassured me that I was doing the right thing sending ds in as I need the respite. Imagine they may close soon though.

Great minds open. Me and dh were just talking about getting a Nintendo switch! I'm sorry you are self isolating, I hope you aren't too badly affected!

Hope the new routine goes ok light.

I had a bit of a flappy day yesterday but have decided to make a concerted effort not to read any social media about it and limit myself to one news item a day and if that fails doing a bit of yoga!

Ds school sent 'home learning' packs home today.

Quite impressed with what they did for him, they also laminated everything as he's prone to ripping his work up.

I'll have to thank his 1-1 in the morning as she laminated everything, must of taken her ages!

Now just the task of getting him to do any of it!

Liv I'm sending ds in too, If I have to buy him his own hazmat suit and put a corona isolation pod in my boot and take it in to school to do his work in then that's what I'll do! 😂

Open what did you buy ds for Easter? I have got ds a few of those little trackmaster trains off amazon to go with his eggs, although if school closes I'm tempted to give the trains early to keep him occupied. So long as he's got chocolate eggs come Easter Day he likely won't give a shit so I'm not too fussed if I have to give them early. I ate one of his Easter eggs the other night

Light hope WFH goes well.

Sorry dimples just seen your post at 7.20 this morning, I hadn't been on in a while so I'm not up to date with the adoption, I'll have a read back now!

liv I hope today has been less flappy. We ordered ds an extra couple of games - minecraft (which he is desperate to play) and a Pokemon one. It comes with mariokart.

danni he wanted a PJ Masks cat-car. We have shed loads of PJ masks toys but strangely not one of those. He doesn’t eat chocolate so won’t appreciate an Easter egg.

I’m feeling ok. If it was any other time I’d just put it down to a regular cold and not worry but of course I’m second guessing every symptom... I’m a little chesty but not coughing lots yet, I’m sure it will come. As far as I know I don’t have any pre-existing conditions but I’m still a bit anxious. I will listen to Paul McKenna at bedtime.

So my adoption panel is going ahead tomorrow but online ..so mostly still on track. Having a nightmare tracking down the same formula as the foster carer has (went to 8 shops today when I should have been working and still no joy).

Went to get a cup of tea to try and relax and in the time I was out of the room DS had weed on the sofa and scribbled on the walls. Hopefully tomorrow will be better ..

Hope that you're on the mend soon Open.

I'm sure DS's school will be closed next week. Quite a lot of teachers (with asthma etc.) need to self isolate next week

Oh dimples how exciting. I trust it will all go well. And hopefully you can source some formula.

danni eating Easter eggs is something I would do. We have none yet this year though I did get 4 bars of whole nut in our weekend delivery. I am rationing it out to me and dh

I have actually lost a little weight I think - the Corona diet. I’m already trying to make sure everything lasts and that we don’t over eat. Well dh and I, ds can eat what he likes though we will need to get some bread for him next week.

Managed to get ds to do almost half an hour of work today. It’s a start. My plan is to use the Nintendo as the carrot. We’ll see how that goes...

DD's school is closed now. She seems OK about it. We've done a bit of a timetable for her and she was keen on that. Might do less per day but keep it up through the holidays as I think the routine suits her!

Luckily she was also OK about the new den!!! "Even better than the old den" apparently! I'll just go put on my Super-Mum cape right now (happens rarely enough!)

Probably did about 5 hours work yesterday - not too bad for day 1 but need to do better today - but also need to phone some rellies and our car insurer so must get on that too.

Good luck everybody (and sorry your school are still being shits @Harleyisme. I would say "unbelievable" but after all you've been through it is sadly very believable). Glad the home schooling is going well though, go DS!!

Based on what I've seen on the news at lunch today, U.K. schools are going to close but remain open for children of front line nhs staff.

I'm sure I forgot to previously mention to his 1-1 that I'm actually a paramedic and Dh is a dr 😆 😆

I'm sure you are already aware it's just my sense of humour.

I'm not wicked really. Ds drives me up the fucking wall on a daily basis but I do like him sometimes honest! 😂

I've just text my mum and told her she needs to come 3 times a week and watch him for a couple of hours downstairs so I can have a bath and lock myself in my bedroom to hyperventilate into a paper bag in peace.

she text back.... Of course

😆

Looks like all schools will be closed on Friday.

What’s the new den - did I miss something?

Hope today is more productive for you.

A bit more work done again here today though still some reading and spelling to do later.

See danni, the upside of being a youngster is that your mum doesn’t have to self isolate!

He just said children with an education health care plans can remain in school.

What to do? I feel scummy still sending him to be completely honest what is everyone doing?

Just wondering if I would be into trouble should I decide not to send him? Regarding attendance etc.

I'm happy to send him 😆 Dh is like you can't do that!

His 1-1 will love me when she realises she still has to go into school.