Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Undecided Danni. I know, not v helpful!

Thing is ds 1-1's actually have children at the school now they won't be allowed to attend so what goes on in these situations.

Shame school isn't open for me to phone and ask a few questions to make my desicion a bit easier.

I'm the same dimples don't know what to do for the best.

Is it clear that it’s all children with EHCP’s?

I don’t think we will be sending him in even if allowed and guaranteed 1:1 support.

Yes, all children with education and health care plans open also children with social workers which I imagine is a lot.

Ds needs 1-1, school obviously know this, so if they can't provide that because of staffing issues then they aren't fulfilling what the government has said, so god knows what they would do in that situation? but he can't attend without 1-1 it wouldn't be possible.

I'll know more in the morning I'm going to ask to see the head she's usually floating about in the office when I go in so I'll have a chat with her and see what she says x

Let us know what they say danni. Even if they could have him for a half day it would give you respite. Assuming you wanted him to go.

Will do open x

Our school have given us the opportunity to apply for a place for ds. We've decided not to as he would only have been at the school for another 10days anyway. Feels like a huge decision though!
I think ds will probably be thrilled not have to go back in but sometimes he can be a bit unpredictable, so may miss it more than we think!

Danni did your school do the same for you?

The new school have cancelled settling in as they have no idea what's going to happen there, completely understandable. They will be in touch about next term. Feel like This will be a very long haul! Although I'm hoping we can get ds addicted to minecraft

I sort of knew ds school wouldn't follow the rules.

So I think it's likely ds will be staying at home.

Basically spoke to head this morning, she looked a bit suprised I wanted to send ds in I said well he has an ehcp and he can still attend so I'm not wrong in asking? After all, it was the government specifically stating a child with an educational health care plan can still attend school.

(They know the score with his behaviour and me needing respite and him needing routine etc! So why it came as a surprise I may want him to go in I'll never know.)

His 1-1 looked a bit gutted when I mentioned I wanted ds to go in too, it's almost as though the colour drained from her face. She didn't even need to say anything.

Anyways..

Head said it's skeleton staff for those parents needing childcare, no education will take place, it's more fun & games and being looked after by a small handful of staff than educating (basically what ds gets on an ordinary school day then!) and she wasn't sure because ds needs 1-1 and she would have to speak to the LA and see what they suggest.

I'll save them the bloody bother and keep him home for the next year 🙈

Don't get me wrong, she didn't say no.

It was more the way i felt like I was being gently persuaded to keep him home if you see what I mean.

She said the school will only have children with parents working for the nhs so ds would be in contact with children who's parents could technically be coming into contact with the virus.

I mean if that's not persuading me to keep him at home then I don't know what is.

I have heard nothing from DS’s school. Don’t really blame them but I would like to know what the options are. I don’t know if I’ll be starting adoption leave next week. If I don’t I don’t know how much work I’ll get done as single parent with SN child or how much fun or learning DS will have with me working at home.

I am a planner - this kind of situation is not my forte. I have formulated several contingency plans and I am trying to work but it’s hard to concentrate as LA have said they’ll update me re the adoption this afternoon.

Good luck dimples 🥰 hope you get the update soon xxx

danni it certainly sounds like they are trying to discourage you but whether they can outright refuse...

dimples I hope you get some clarity soon on both the adoption and school situation. I can’t see why it wouldn’t go ahead.

We will apparently have home learning packs delivered tomorrow along with any other stuff they can find - p.e. kit etc. It will be interesting to see what’s in it.

It's difficult isn't it because yes, I'm sure there's a higher chance that the kids of essential workers will get it: but then some of what you read seems to suggest that 50-80% of us are going to get it in the next year anyway, and at least it will be much smaller groups than usual in the schools, so that will tend to go the other way.

Sorry I probably didn't explain the Den thing. DD had a little "den" under a desk we were basically storing in her room: but had to put it in OH's room so he can work from home. I warned DD in advance we would have to and that I would build her a new den, and she seemed OK with it but I wasn't really sure. Anyway, the new one is made with a big beach sheet tucked into her bookcase, which means she can stand up in it, and I've put a flowery blanket outside to be a garden, and apparently these two things make it the best den EVAH and I have won parenting, gold star me.

I'm sure this smugness will wear off very quickly once DS is out of nursery (particularly once our nanny gets it and/or has to self-isolate, or we do, and we're trying to do childcare by ourselves ... hey ho! I was wanting to just take on enough work to be able to do childcare too by next year so I guess I should see this as a bit of a trial run?!?! Though next year I'm hoping I'll get some term-time respite!

Hope everyone is still doing OK!

School just said ds can go in with full 1-1 and they will take him into reception as that is where they will be working from.

I said thanks, but I'll keep him home and they said there will be no fine the choice was optional.

So at least they offered and he would of had full support.

I did ask if they could send some sanity home in his book bag tomorrow though

Ah, the den sounds fab Light. Enjoy your gold star while you can, it may not last long with everyone cooped up at home.

danni why did you decide not to?

We’re ok. I popped just up the road to post Mother’s Day cards today.

Mainly because I felt bad open.

Because he would be going to school with hardly anyone there and then having to go into reception class with just him and a 1-1. I'm not even sure if he would have the same 1-1, they just said he would be provided with 1-1 care, all staff know him and what he's like, just not as well as his usuals, plus his 1-1's have young children so imagine it would mean they had to come in and 1 has a small child not at school age so that would cause her childcare issues)

Also far as I'm aware there aren't many children attending.

Then they mentioned eventually moving to one school in the area with all children from different schools going to there and I didn't want him having to go to an alien school with his 1-1.

And if he caught anything I would blame myself.

I've been thinking about it all night / day so made my decision based on that.

The routines are likely to be quite different, I’m not sure what autistic dc will make of it anyway.

It’s going to be a tough few months for everyone and the ramifications immense. Not only the immediate impact of CV on people, physically and emotionally, but all the economic fallout. Years of the clawback of austerity measures and then some obliterated in an instant.

Ds has spontaneously started to shake and nod his head for yes and no

Bless him open

what are your plans for time off regarding ds doing work? Do you have a plan set up? I've been jotting some ideas down of a routine today I'll finish it later and post it, just wondered what others were thinking?

Ha danni. Yes, I have set up a timetable but I think it’s probably far too ambitious. I think we might have to ramp up towards it gradually. Tues and Wed we did half an hour, today he’s resisted doing anything though I haven’t pushed hard enough. Tomorrow and next week I need to be more proactive.

I’m aiming to do mornings only with a couple of 30 minute breaks and story time. Each lesson will be 10-15 mins though we’ll have to work up to that probably. We will do phonics/reading, maths and writing/spelling daily plus gross and fine motor skills activities. Then once a week for various other things.

I’m interested in what the school will send and I need to check the NC for what they’re supposed to cover. I’ve got programmes for phonics, maths and writing plus Twinkl and loads of other workbooks. I’ve gone a bit mad over the last 8 months

The Nintendo Switch has been dispatched. He has already been told it’s only for after he’s done his school work 🤞

See. All that amazon shopping we have done has come in good use.

I'm planning to do an hour in the morning mix of (writing / spelling / maths) play time in the garden on the trampoline, then some football, I'll be the goal keeper (a sat down on my phone type goalie) then I'm going to have him doing some kind of YouTube PE / dance class on the tv 😂 then after lunch do 30 minutes of the work he's been sent home then one of his reading books from our home sets in the afternoon and then bed time 1 book from bug club on the iPad.

I know full well these are my intentions and he most likely won't pick a pen up apart from drawing pots of sugar that's all he wants to do. Draw pots of flaming sugar! Most random child.

Sugar by the way is pronounced by ds as, sue gar hahahaha.