Auties transition to Year 1 - thread 3

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in reception year at school, going into Year 1 in the autumn. All welcome (also parents with older or younger children who want to ask questions or share their wisdom!)

Welcome!

I'm grateful for the tuna and fish fingers in my list!

One of our issues with food us that DD wants to be fed, for various reasons. She can eat herself but tends to give up after only a few mouthfuls unless encouraged or helped. Food used to be very restricted too but she has quite a few things on her list at the moment. Luckily she likes jacket potatoes so she has that every single day at school. I don't think she eats much but enough to get through the day until I feed her again at home after school.

On a SALT course I did in the spring I met a lady whose DS only ate Weetabix and yogurt. That was it. Not completely unusual with ASD though. I used to take DD to McDonald's several times a week at one point when she was restricted to chicken nuggets. Until she choked on one at which point she nearly stopped eating!

Little ds is the same. We often end up having to feed him to finish a meal because he just couldn’t be bothered otherwise.

Map It’s a very short list! There are a couple of things he will eat occasionally but aren’t part of his regular repertoire.

His temperature has come down but poor thing has been sick three times this morning. Hopefully this means it’s just a bug and not scarlet fever.

Swede and open, that's interesting, we feed our DS too in the evenings when he's tired! So nice to hear we're not alone and this is happening in other homes too

MapLand I find it quite ridiculous but nice to know we’re not alone.

We quite often end up feeding too - especially at tea time if things are dragging on, or at breakfast if we need to get out (though she's generally better at breakfast now unless she's getting distracted with something).

It does feel a bit ridiculous but I do think they are genuinely knackered. We end up doing the same for DS sometimes (but he's only 2). I suspect when DS stops getting fed DD will be a bit more motivated to stop too....

Hope your Ds feels better soon open hopefully it's not scarlet fever.

Nice to know we are not alone with the feeding too. I've almost stopped caring what other people think but I'm still aware that people might look if we are feeding DD when out (not that we eat out much). She stims a lot in excitement (when eating at McDonalds for example) so it is probably quite obvious that she isn't NT anyway. Bless her.

@LittleSwede Unfortunately they have all mucked about and changed his timetable daily for the first 3 weeks of collage that hes shut down again and refusing to go.
How is your dd doing? did you ask for the time in the library/sensory room hopefully your dd is doing so much better.

@openupmyeagereyes ds wasn't in school Friday it really is all school not as school hes fine soon as hes at school he falls apart.
How is your ds doing? hes he felling any better hopefully it isn't scarlet fever.

@LightTriper he wasn't in Friday and away from school he just shuts it all away.
W
We are lucky with ds when it comes to feeding he has a very limited and restricted diet but as long as its on his list he will eat it he uses his fingers to eat though as he struggle with cutlery.

Taking Ds into school today was a massive mistake. We went to the library read a story as soon as the 8.45 bell went they weren't expected to down tools and just go to class. Ds couldn't handle this he got upset. he was hugging me as was reassuring him telling hes got this and can do it. The librarian got annoyed with me as i always bend down to talk to ds specially when he he is anxious as i was taught when dealing with my eldest that talking down to them can be very intimidating so i have always made it a point to be on there level. She kept saying get up and at least look like your going, she tried to get me to leave so they could grab hold of him and make him stay. Another women i don't know entered the library and asked him if he wanted to go to class with her he said no i want to go home. She then said would you like to try my breakfast club in a morning with friends he shouted no in her face i said no I want to stay at home. We got out of the library with the class ta following trying to say we are doing this in class we are doing that ds wouldn't engage just kept telling them no i am going home. We stepped out of the door to the reception area the staff blockaded so ds couldn't get though as the door closed ( it needs a pass to scan to open) ds screamed louder. I sat on a chair and said i am not leaving him like that. Liberian opened the door and said hes perfectly happy already and gone to class when we could hear ds still screaming on the corridor which i pointed out and walked out the door. dh spoke to the head who wouldn't let us check on ds at all even though it was possible to do so with out him seeing dh. Apparently ds told them he was upset from missing school yet before this when we was there he continued to tell them he wanted home. He took a poppy he made at kids club last night and apparently he had shown everyone and told them how he had done it and was then asked to explain to everyone how it could have been better why cant they have just bloody said well done ds that good.

Hmm, possibly because he’s tired in the evenings, less so in the morning. I think he just sates his initial hunger and would then just prefer to do something else, either playing in another room or we often read to him at the table and have to feed him at the same time. He’s perfectly capable of feeding himself (albeit that he’s a bit messy because he doesn’t pay much attention to what he’s doing) and does maybe 75% of the time. I really have no idea of the %

Harley that is such a shame. Is he able to do a little bit of work at home in his own time? The CGP books are quite good for independent GCSE study (can you tell I'm a teacher ) if he can face it. Also sorry your DS had such a bad day yesterday, I don't think the school is acting at all professionally around this. It's just adding to his tress isn't it.

DD reluctant again but not crying, I managed to get out of her that she doesn't like playing because the other's don't understand her. Got meeting set up on Friday afternoon with teacher and Senco. I have emailed and asked about lunchtime options so am hoping there is something she can do as an alternative to going outside. I won't drag her in crying again and am feeling regretful for doing so last week.

Also to add, DD is now having several meltdowns over the afternoon and evening, it starts as soon as we get in the door basically. I find that I have to 'rest' up in the afternoons after work to have the energy to deal with it. Feeling quite angry with the school for just 'throwing' her in the deep end without support and now she's all stressed out by it and taking it all out on me and DH (understandably as we are her safe people). I have started a 'log' with details of DD's school anxiety and meltdowns each day which I am going to print and put in my large (yet to be purchased) folder of evidence. A senior colleague of mine half jokingly said that the thickest folder gets the EHCP and support.

Swede I feel for you with the after school meltdowns. Good for you keeping a record, so useful to show staff / evidence trail etc. I've found with my DS that he has a "long burn" and can contain his stress at school/in public for several weeks before anything is visible at school. Of course he expresses it at home though.

Open how is your DS now?

Thanks Mapland, interesting about your DS containing his stress, I suspect this is what's happened with DD. School of course says she's fine.

Hope your DS is feeling better open?

Little sorry about dd’s meltdowns. Keeping a log is a great idea. We sent off a huge file for ds’ EHCP application. Easier for us though as ds is similar at home and school.

Map and Little thanks for asking. Ds has been perfectly fine today but not in school due to sickness policy. I’m hoping he’ll go back tomorrow with no problems but I won’t hold my breath...

His sleeping has been better this time thank goodness. He’s woken briefly in the night but then slept until 5:30/6am. I’m sure normal service will be resumed soon . He’s been off his melatonin for a few weeks now. It doesn’t seem to make any difference.

Hope your DS is feeling better and hopefully went in ok this morning open. Glad his sleep has been better, fingers crossed it continues.

It was a close call getting DD in today, she was unhappy and nearly crying on my lap in hallway before school and I was actually going to keep her off. Then she suddenly went into living room, positioned her Elsa Lego 'in the right place' came back to hallway and put her school shoes and coat on ready to go. We we're very nearly too late for registration but she made it. She complain that I hadn't asked the teacher about lunchtime though. I explained that there is a meeting tomorrow and she seemed ok with that. Bit miffed that I emailed Senco about DD and lunchtimes yesterday morning yet no reply. So frustrating as I feel DD will loose trust in me and the teachers soon. Sorry for coming in here moaning again, hope your DC's are all having a good day

Ds has not gone to school. He is very cross because I have hidden the iPad. Give me strength.

and for strength open!

So many parenting fails this morning

It's hard, not to mention impossible, to do everything 'right' all the time when dealing with stressed ASD children, especially in the mornings I find. More

I wish I had some cake! I might have to bake some.

Ds still refusing to go in. He’s been so disregulated this morning, all stemming from not being able to watch the iPad (which I had warned him would happen). He has been in a foul mood, hitting and acting up but currently calm.

I can’t see him going in and, frankly, I’m not sure I want him to in this mood. Poor dh has had a barrage of texts from me. Nothing he can do about it.

Arggghh that sounds tough Open! Sounds right not to send him in if he's struggling at home though. Is there anything else he likes to do that you could do with him? Something I sometimes set up for DD when she is a bit stressed out is just a sink of warm bubbly water with some bath toys ... very calming (I keep meaning to try it myself!) Maybe he'd like something like that to regulate and take his mind of things?

Things seem fairly good for us at the moment, though DD's best friend was off school yesterday and she said she didn't play with anybody, just played by herself... so I guess that's been a bit of a wake up how dependent she is on her (very outgoing) friend. It's funny as she happily goes to play dates with other kids... I think she is just so happy playing by herself that she doesn't see the need to involve others unless it's really in her comfort zone. Might have a chat with her about it at some point.

She's got her flu spray today, which she's always refused to do at school/nursery, so I'm interested to see how that goes... I think she might have forgotten that she's previously refused to have it at school (she always went to the nurse at our GP instead, so she has had it before). I've just kept it all very neutral and we'll see what happens!

I hope dd did ok with the flu spray this year Light. Ds refused his this year after taking it ok last year.

Ds has been calm this afternoon. We did 30 mins of work - 10 mins each of reading, writing and maths. This is the most I’ve done with him in one time at home so nice to know it is possible though he needs encouragement to stay focussed. He’s just done some spelling on the iPad too to earn some extra YouTube time.

He says he’s going to go to school tomorrow, we shall see. I have two appointments that I will need to cancel if he doesn’t. I will have to go and do the food shopping once dh gets in this evening which is a pain. It’s the last thing I want to be doing at that time really.

That is annoying. We do all of ours online and increasingly our nanny actually unloads it even so I am basically Marie Antoinette and living in luxury

DD did her flu spray!! She seemed surprised we were surprised, so I think she probably had forgotten it used to be an issue!

I’m sure you work hard for your luxury Light. I actually quite like doing the food shop plus I generally have the time, obviously. It’s a pain at times like this but I can get dh to get essentials on the way home if needed. I didn’t go tonight, couldn’t be bothered after a stressful day.

Well done to your dd

Nowadays a trip round the supermarket on my own is a night out for me. And I'm not even joking! well done open for getting through a tough day

Glad fly spray went well light and that you got DD to school swede.