Auties transition to Year 1 - thread 3

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in reception year at school, going into Year 1 in the autumn. All welcome (also parents with older or younger children who want to ask questions or share their wisdom!)

Welcome!

@Littleswede the ehcp and the money side heavily depends on schools budget and what they can afford if its impossible for the school to fund. The money side schools do have a legal stand to get the LA to fund the ehcp which is what should be happening anyway. This is where county and schools seem to spread there myths they say that school have to stump up £6000 per child before they can apply for a ehcp when in reality once a ehcp is granted school have to provide the first £6000 of the ehcp support. If the ehcp is less than £6000 it seems school dont want to apply for the ehcp as the school themselves have nothing to gain but if that child has a ehcp they legally have to provide that support where as with a sen support plan they don't legally have to provide the support and can litreally do as they please.

Oh Harley it is so depressing isn't it. That does make it clearer though so thank you.

@littleswede it is very depressing and as a parent it seems you need to also be a lawyer and know the law in side and out. Glad i helped you see it clearer.

That makes sense @Harley but it is bloody depressing and so short sighted: even beyond the value to you and DS of him being supported to get an excellent education, what is the cost to society of delaying that? Much much higher .... but it's some other future person's problem so the can just gets endlessly kicked down the road. Seems to be happening to all services with a longer term pay-off (CAMHS, physio, social care, all that good stuff).

Had Early Bird again today. Much better session today (though only 2 families showed up out of 7... TAs for another 2 were there) The other Mum who was there actually had some really good ideas about helping DD with airport security so we're going to think about that. And it is as always really good to talk with DD's class TA.

Good post on Faith Mummy today on autism and anxiety.

faithmummy.wordpress.com/2019/11/08/autism-and-anxiety-an-awful-combination/

Just read that open a lot of it resonates with DD and her anxiety. Thanks for sharing.

Argh, just lost the long message I was typing!

Glad the Early Birds course was better Light. DD coped quite well with airport security but that's mostly down to the sunflower lanyard (from special assistance desk) which gives access to priority lane. Staff are usually very helpful too but I guess it depends on the airport. In Lanzarote we got escorted past all the queues and DD got treated like a VIP by the friendly staff!

What a day here, just meltdown after meltdown. During the worst one DD bit my hand really hard. Pinched, hit and scratched me and hit DH a couple of times. She has lashed out in the past but never this bad. Poor girl must be so stressed.

We've tried to help her decompress with a warm bath with magnesium salts, lots of cuddles, some sensory things as well as letting her watch quite a bit of Peppa Pig and Sarah and Duck, both which seems to calm rather than stimulate her. Hoping she'll be in a better place tomorrow. She's been having massive meltdowns after school every day so it's probably been building up this week. Maybe a forest walk tomorrow, weather permitting!

We've been very lucky with staff too Little but DD has this thing about being looked at, like a performance anxiety, and it kicks in massively when we go through the security gate. They always want her to try on her own and at the moment she can't, she just freezes. They do let us carry her through in the end and she recovers fairly quickly, but I wish we could carry through without getting to meltdown first!

The lanyard is good, and at least means we don't have massive build up, but it doesn't really help with the gate itself. Think. We're going to try a social story next time and make a little book of steps for DD so she can see it's just one step, followed by something nice!

And sorry DD is so stressed out. Hope bath and forest do the trick this weekend! We've got a quiet day ahead I think.... Just park and library I think.

Little I hope your dd managed to regulate last night in the end and that she has a calmer day today. We’re going to go for a walk outside today too. Much needed as ds has been refusing to go out in the playground at school. He says because it’s cold but I wonder if something else is going on so will ask the TA.

Light glad EarlyBird was better. What was the content?

We had a wonderful night last night. We took ds to his first fireworks display and he loved it. He did so well because it was raining a little and we had to wait around. His little face during the fireworks brought tears to my eyes 😍

@LittleSwede i hope dd has a much better day today and is feeling much better. Hope the weathers ok so you get to go on your walk.

@lighttripper its is very short sighted. Nobody seems fussed by the future and the long term affect on the child. We learnt this the hard way with our eldest ds who has ASD ADHD and Anxiety. Hes 15 now not been in school properly for the last 18months as he simply can no longer cope hes been dragged though mainstream with a ehcp it wasn't till bad till his high school changed to an academy and even sacked his ta which was illegal as it was part of provision on his ehcp. When the LA transfered him from statement to ehcp they also removed all funding which ment the school could no longer afford his provision. I am determined to avoid this all happening with ds 5.

@openupmyeagereyes thats so lovely i am so glad that your ds had lovely night and loved the fireworks.

We have had a brilliant 3 days. Ds has only had to wee accidents. Hes even been trying to wipe his own bum and we haven't had to talk him though the routine so much. Hes not refusing to go out any longer and even been to some new places and been settled. Hes also no longer getting up at 5am and told me his nightmares have stopped. Hes giggling and smiley again. I have also had people say we can't believe how different hes been the last few days. Hes nearly back to himself.

Light that does sound a bit tricky. Hopefully the social story will help and if the staff let you carry her through before meltdown, not sure how flexible they are on this. Hope you had a nice day at the library and park.

So lovely that your DS enjoyed the fireworks so much open. DD was the same last Saturday and I too had a tear in my eye!

So glad to hear your DS is happier Harley.

DD has had a better day with a lovely forest walk and lots of fresh air. A bit highly strung and shouty again this afternoon but not quite like yesterday.

Harley sorry your eldest DS is has had a tough time with getting support. Is he getting some home tuition from the LA now? The whole 'support' system for SN is just a shambles.

@LittleSwede unfortunately not he has alternative pervision that originally was collage 3 days school 2 days. LA are being difficult and saying that no matter how much hes struggle he has high intelligence so has to sit all his gcse and has to be in a education setting full time he cant do collage 5 days as they don't do it and being between 2 enviroments is to much for him as is stusying for 11 gcses in 2 days. We have just switched him to college only with just English and maths gcses to see if he can handle that.

Harley The switch to just college sounds like a good idea, hopefully he can focus on English and Maths. LA sounds very inflexible, 11 GCSEs is a lot, even for an NT teenager without the added ASD and ADHD. The current GCSEs are a pain in the backside as well, all exam based and really not ideal for anyone whose learning preference isn't learn by rota.

DD went in without tears today but only after I had asked her why she didn't want to go (she said she doesn't want to play with anyone at lunchtime) and promised her that I will speak with her teacher to see what we can do. Already have one meeting set up for Friday re support plan and also hoping Senco will see me this week.

Would it be a resonable adjustment to ask if DD can play inside/read in library or in her sensory area or something instead of being outside with the other kids. can I ask for this as an option? Maybe this would warrant 1:1 support?

It does sound like it might be good to get some lunchtime support Little? Great that she can tell you what her worries are though and that the outdoors/decompression time did her good at the weekend.

I don't know how doable this is in a state school (and whether you could even pay for it as it's not expensive) but when DD was starting reception year until about Easter she had a nanny with SEN experience who came into school 1 lunchtime a week and helped her interact with the other children. She'd just scaffold her a bit (so e.g. if DD was playing at the water tray and another child came up she'd encourage them to help each other, draw DD's attention to what the other child was doing and vice versa, that kind of thing). Although it was only once a week I do think it helped DD build some confidence as she always found social stuff much easier with adults than with other children.

The other thing DD does that might help your DD is eat really slowly so she probably gets 15 minutes in the lunch hall with just the dinner ladies before she goes out to play: so it's a bit of decompression time but also give her a shorter play time that she has to sustain. She actually always says she likes play time now, but I think partly because she doesn't have too much of it!

Sorry your older DS is having a hard time too Harley. Sounds like a good strategy to try him with fewer subjects. Great that little DS had such a good weekend. Was he out of school on Friday? It's good that he's managing to switch off from it when he's not there.

So amazing about the fireworks open! Did he have ear defenders or is he OK with noise? Watching their little faces when they're caught up in something is such a joy!

The EarlyBird was something about problem behaviour I think? But essentially that means it was about anxiety (all the weeks I find useful are about anxiety, basically, I think that is the no 1 thing for DD and for me so I could happily talk about/think about anxiety until the end of time, pretty much!)

Does anybody do "Mindful Monsters"? It keeps coming up on my Facebook feed and I'm wondering if my two would like it!

We had a good weekend. Park and Library was perfect (though think we've lost a couple of library books - gaarghh!) The park was particularly nice. It was crazy busy but DD and DS played beautifully together and DD went on the big slide that she used to love when she was little and then got really anxious about more recently. It's one of those ones built into a hill, and the kids were all sliding down the artificial grass either side of it too, and DD was hauling herself up on the ropes they've installed. She was really going for it despite the chaos all around her and it was just fun and nice!

DD also played a little bit with a boy who was hiding in some bushes where DD was also making a "house". He was a bit resistant to her joining in at first and I wondered if he was ND too ... he seemed reassured once he clocked that she wasn't trying to get in his face either! It's funny, these days I am always spotting other kids I think are probably ND and it makes me feel so warm towards them ... it's like being part of a wider family that I really like. Of course, I could be completely wrong about them all!

Light we’ve got the mindful kids cards from Amazon. We haven’t used them yet but I’m hoping I can engage ds with them at some point.

Glad you had a good weekend and that dd had such fun at the park.

Ds didn’t use ear defenders, he was fine. There was an older child in front of us who wanted to leave once they started but I think it’s common for even NT children.

Harley I’m glad ds is happier. Why do you think it is? I can’t remember if he went to school on Friday. I’m sorry that your older ds is struggling too, it’s an absolute scandal the lack of support SN children get having been shoehorned into MS schools in the name of ‘inclusion’.

Little glad dd went in happily. Staying in is doable if they can give her 1:1 support, tricky if not I suppose. Are there any other nurture groups or clubs that run over lunch that might suit her?

Ds is off sick again today. He has a high temperature this time and lying around in a blanket feeling sorry for himself. Hopefully no more than a day or so off.

Light Sounds like a lovely time at the park. I think DD's teacher is planning on doing some scaffolding with DD and two peers (who she apparently plays with sometimes) but if they would allow for more of this that would be great. Sounds like it was really helpful for your DD. 15 minutes of play is probably enough, maybe I can suggest to DD to eat slower. Thing is she is so hyper anxious about everything now so I don't want her to have to think about yet another thing. She's become all obsessed with germs and is making me feed her as she worries about her hands being dirty. We are working on it by reassuring her and hopefully it is a passing phase.

Open Sorry your Ds is feeling unwell. Hopefully he feels better soon. If he likes chewable vitamins the Sambucol teddies are very high in Vitamin C which might help this time of year. They are a bit pricey but I've decided that it's worth it during the colder months. Not sure if it makes a difference but I think it's one of the highest doses you can get for children.

Will ask about lunchtime clubs and nurture groups, sounds like a nice alternative on days when she doesn't feel up to being sociable and playing with the other children.

Little he wouldn’t eat those, eating is a big issue here, he only eats about 10 things. He does take liquid vitamins and omega 3 but I can’t see him eating a sweet. I have vitamin c drops that I put in his cereal but I don’t remember every day, I must be more consistent.

Food an issue here too open, always has been. It changes at times too, fish fingers (which she lived on during the summer) are currently off the menu for example. It is just luck she decided she likes these teddies, she doesn't like any of the orange flavoured ones.

Apparently one of the children in ds’ class has scarlet fever. Really hoping it’s not that. I’ll need to phone the GP in the morning if he’s still off colour as it’s highly contagious.

Little our food issues started at 2, he wasn’t too bad before then. He has dropped foods and gained none in nearly 4 years.

Crikey open, just ten things is pretty difficult, do they tend to change or stay the same? What does your DS like? Mine likes weetabix, bagels, fish fingers, tuna sandwiches, bananas, tomatoes, cucumber, sometimes meatballs and macaroni cheese.