I know there is a starting secondary school thread somewhere but I cant find it and really need some flaps and honks!

[Ineedmorepatience]

Dd3's stress levels are going through the roof and I know why but cant do anything to help

We cut our holiday short this week because she was going downhill fast and didnt want to stay. I had planned to be away until Friday so she was occupied and not thinking about it.

She has melted down this morning over not being able to have a coloured door key, apparently our lock is too old And over not wanting me to have a cushion on the sofa!!

We need to make a new visual timetable for the mornings but not sure its a good idea, what do you all think?

Yes I agree polter I still feel like we are walking on eggshells and everything could crack at any moment.

Tbf the senco also acknowledges that it is very early days.

I think it is brilliant that your Ds has manged to crack the exit pass it is a massive leap forward. There is still talk of doing some role play with Dd3 to try to teach her when it would be appropriate to use an exit pass as is recommended in the EP and OT and Paed reports but so far nothing has come of it.

I think as with all schools there is an element of " Well she is "fine" at the moment so lets see what happens!!" Which of course leads into her having to fail before provision is put into place. But at least I feel that they would react quicker than the primaries did!

I said to Dp last night, I guess they react quicker because can you imagine if you didnt react to a hormonal autisitc teenager the size of an adult who was melting down!!! It could be carnage and may be they have learned that if they step in quickly they can actually prevent that from happening?!?

Maybe, who knows, just thinking out loud really

Fantastic polter it is brilliant!! You definitely made the right choice !!

Long may it continue 20 days done only 900 ish to go to the end of yr 11

Sorry its easy for me to say, I have done the whole secondary thing twice already!!

Oh, gee [this may be long!!]

The cracks are beginning to show
Yesterday Dd3 came home stressed because during her Sax lesson the trumpet teacher came into the room and asked her why she wasn't in her trumpet lesson This is obviously Dd3's take on what happened but she said the trumpet teacher was cross with her and the words "piss up" and "Brewery" sprang to mind!!

She wants to go to climbing club but doesnt know where it is eg. on site or off or whether she has to pay ! I emailed her form teacher today to ask her to point Dd3 in the right direction for the info she needs and said she is struggling this week!! No reply!

Senco emails to arrange a meeting and is crowing about what an amazing job they have done of transition just because Dd3 played in the school band at open evening and then went and showed a boy from primary who has Asd and his parents around the student support centre.

Today she comes home having not been able to find the trumpet teacher who told her to come back today and with maths homework that she cant do!!

She is shouty and very very needy and the maths homework was launched across the living room twice before I suggested she takes it to homework club tomorrow.

Her dad said he would take her swimming, she wanted to go, she didnt want to go, she wanted to go she didnt want to go. Her swimming costume was lost and her card to get into the pool until I get up to find them and suddenly they are found again!!

Aaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!! I am losing the will!!

Have a meeting with the senco tomorrow to find out if she is going to support us at tribunal or say that Dd3 doesnt need a statement/ehcp like the old one did [after having suggested that I put in a parental request.

Oh god is it nearly half term!! Ineedmore.

Thanks polter

No Dd3 doesnt say anything either, she just holds it in until she gets home

She was stressed before she even went this morning, at 7.30 she was rushing around saying she was going to be late and she couldnt find her best pen [one that rubs out!!]

Honeymoon period, well and truly over!!

to both of you. Homework is becoming an increasing problem here. I just think dd needs more detailed instructions for most subject (maths is actually the only one which causes no problem at all: 1 question= 1 answer!). Have you tried writing a social story for yours to explain when / how to ask for help when they need it?

I did try social stories a while ago and Dd3's response was "You can't make me look at that!!"

But I havent tried for a while so maybe we will revisit it!

Have you tried molly? If so what did you include and did it work?

Dd3 was able to tell the LA EP that she cant ask for help at school, she has to wait until she gets home so she can tell me

So far no interventions have been tried other than several adults at 3 schools telling her she needs to ask them if she needs help !!

Yes I have. My kids are not very enthusiastic about them and usually will just look at them quickly and disregard. But i leave the stories lying around and show them again now and then. The trick is to link the stories to the special interest somehow, (I use pictures and quotes form their favourite TV programs to illustrate them: a quote from dr who can be very powerful!)

Hmm, I just think that with Dd3 it is so ingrained now that she doesnt ask for help that it would take more than a social story to break the habit!!

The LA SALT's sugggested a clinical psych this time last year to see if they could come up with something but the paed was reluctant to refer her and now we are waiting for an appointment with a different paed because that one [who we did like] has now left

I will mention it again at school tomorrow and maybe they could try something in the social skills group or SALT group she is supposed to be going to.

Oh forgot to say, I have used them successfully!

Crossed post!

Good luck with meeting today Ineed. ds1 was ranty too last night - I think it's exhaustion catching up on all of them. Mind you he has a cold too which doesn't help - perhaps should have kept him off but then it is likely ds2 would school refuse if his brother wasn't going.

I agree one she is shattered and has had a cold! I cant believe we have 3 weeks to go to half term and she has a residential to squeeze in between now and then too. Luckily she goes the last 2 days before the holiday so she can collapse afterwards.

I am not holding out much hope that she wont need a couple of days off between now and then though!

Hey ho, off to prepare for yet another meeting and to hand deliver the "Child's views"sheet that the LA posted me in relation to our tribunal!! Luckily the LA SEN ream office is not far from home

That should have said "team"

Ok.... so senco was helpful and very sympathetic and is determined to meet Dd3's needs.
But doesnt feel that she has any evidence to support our appeal.

Dd3 has settled well, which we are pleased about. Some support has been put into place and more is available if she needs it.

She has asked me to email her about everything that Dd3 is struggling with so that the right support can be sorted before Dd3 goes into school refusal.

So we are no further forward really in terms of the tribual, I am not going to pull out yet and the next few weeks will be a testing time for all of us as the honeymoon period ends and reality kicks in, along with tiredness and lots of homework!

How has everyone elses day gone?

Yes I agree polter it might help others coming after us too. Most of us regulars on here seem to have children with similar difficulties. It would be good to come back next year and see how stressful it all was but actually how well all our Dc's have done in the early weeks!

I am getting really good vibes from the Sen team at Dd3's school and part of me would love to just sit back and let them get on with it. I cant do that though because history tells me that Dd3 will pretend to be coping and yet falling apart in front of my eyes!

So I will email them every time she has an issue, which is what they have asked me to do and see if they can put the right strategies in place to keep her in school and not distressed!

Your Ds is doing so brilliantly polter and the team around him sound great too.

Maybe one day we will be able to relax..... just a little bit!!

Yes we could drink / and eat for pleasure and not for stress relief!!