I know there is a starting secondary school thread somewhere but I cant find it and really need some flaps and honks!

[Ineedmorepatience]

Dd3's stress levels are going through the roof and I know why but cant do anything to help

We cut our holiday short this week because she was going downhill fast and didnt want to stay. I had planned to be away until Friday so she was occupied and not thinking about it.

She has melted down this morning over not being able to have a coloured door key, apparently our lock is too old And over not wanting me to have a cushion on the sofa!!

We need to make a new visual timetable for the mornings but not sure its a good idea, what do you all think?

Speaking of nightmare songs, did anyone listen to radio two this morning when Brian May and Roger Taylor unveiled those truly terrible new queen tracks, the one with Freddie And Michael Jackson is an absolute mess?

Is there a way to get him to associate it with something calming?

I know polter I really hate Alton Towers but despite being noise defensive and not really liking crowds Dd3 is actually a sensory seeker (well she is one of those mixed up spd people) and she loves being rattled, shaken and tipped upside down so of course she loves it!! It is slightly more bearable by not having to pay and by gettig an exit pass.

I think your Ds is doing brilliantly at keeping himself calm and removing himself from his stress. He deserves a pat on the back (if that is allowed) :-)

I think your DS has somehow unlocked the ability to chose to walk away from a situation. i can remember clearly when it happened to me, someone kicked a ball at the back of my head in the playground and i stood for a moment, because i realised i could decide either to turn around and get worked up or walk away, which is something i didn't do before.

Jason you last post is one of the most encouraging things I've read. That there is hope my DD might one day be able to choose.

polter I just had a thought about the dreaded song: my children have a habit of changing the words of songs to make it funny. Would your DS be able to do that (they actually were singing they version of the dreaded song last night: it goes: "I am walking in the air in my underwear at night".)

I was going to suggest playing it while he's asleep so he subliminally / subconsciously gets used to it, and then hide the word "snowman" around the house.... But molly has a better idea.

it's all stuff I would suggest!

you'd suggest hiding the word "snowman" around the house?

Wow polter! that sounds great! Out of interest what do you think has made a difference to your DS, what is different in secondary vs primary?

Fantastic Polter.

We have had a mixed week. ds1 has been quite stressed & had his first proper meltdown for months on Tuesday (poor fence bore the most of it). They are not seeing any of this at school but had a long conversation with his form teacher to discuss ways to improve things which hopefully will help. He managed to tell them yesterday of a problem he had in one of the lessons so that is a step in the right direction.

ds2 has managed to go into school all this week and even took cakes in today for Macmillan Coffee Thingy which is phenomenal for him as he usually has a huge barrier between what goes on at school and what goes on at home. We have his annual review on Monday which perhaps we called a bit hastily as a result of the taxi refusals but I think this highlighted that there are still problems with how school deals with certain situations that we can try and put right.

End of week three here and so far so good. I suspect they know I'm a bolshy so and so and I also think that Primary have told them that having me on side makes their lives easier as every suggestion I've made or question I have asked has been acted upon promptly.
Dd is enjoying it so far, she's with her best friends and they are very good at keeping her in the loop without it seeming like they are seeing her as less capable.
I think dd is probably challenging a few ideas on what is autism as she's about as far away from the stereotypes that are bandied about as you'd get. Not sure her assigned TA "gets" her but one of the others seems pretty knowledgeable and has even picked up on a few of dd's clues that she's anxious.
Homework is a bit of a pain, I did last night's poster because without a weekend dd isn't having any of it. So dd searched for a slogan and I drew it and coloured most of it (dd coloured a bit too) I couldn't see the point in negotiating tbh.
Dd has had various invites to SEN clubs but is having none of it which was expected tbh because the children with SEN are the children she finds most difficult to cope with.. She prefers her geeky, bookish friends and she hasn't set foot in Learning Support so far either.
It's definitely going far better than I thought it might anyway. Long may it continue.

Thanks polter, that's interesting. DS just started year5 and I can see that he is getting annoyed with school already. The timetable and various subject (with specialised teacher, I think would suit him better already but obviouly he is far from ready in other areas!

A good one for us too

Dd3 has definitely decided to allow more of her true self to be on show at school! She helped her out at open evening this week (playing in the band) and then I got chance to observe her in full monologue mode with a TA in the student support centre!! Ok so it wasnt a real school day but it was in school in uniform and with a schooly person which is massive for her!!
The senco definitely raised an eyebrow!! Not the same virtually mute child that was at the primary transition days.

polters list pretty much applies to Dd3 except that she doesnt have an exit pass and probably wouldnt use one if she did.

We have excellent email contact with the SEN team at the school and can also email any teacher about their subject area which has improved the homework stress.

All in all, so far so good