Quick thread - need advice - SALT at 3pm

[lougle]

DD2 had SALT assessment in June. result: General speech/language at/around average. Doesn't initiate conversation and didn't respond to non verbal cues, but school say she's ok, so it's not affecting her.
I complained by email, said concerns weren't with general language (I.e. she can name a girl if shown a picture, etc).

Now, SALT coming today to reassess and observe. She deals with SCD/ASD type stuff.

I've been invited to discuss her findings at 3pm (school finishes 3'30), so under 30 minutes to talk.

Can you lovelies think of all the areas I should highlight?

e.g. Mrs X, ELSA told DD2 she wouldn't see her today because she had a meeting. DD2 smiled with her tongue pushed behind her bottom lip, nodding as Mrs X was telling her. I know Mrs X would think she's fine with it. However, ar breakfast DD2 told me that she was only ok with going to school today because she has Mrs X this afternoon.

TIA

'I can't make cereal, I can only pour it out.' would be DD2's reply.

One of things I notice with ds when doing the language for thinking assessments, was if he could related to the scenario himself, he could answer much better.

The 2nd scenario I did with ds was the same as the first puppet show one, just the boy was called John and they go to the cinema to see a film about aliens. Ds hates puppets, he is scared of them, however he likes going to the cinema and has been to see a film about aliens and this was reflected in his answers.

For example previous he was not able to answer if they liked the puppet show or why and got quite angry when I asked.

With the film, alien scenario when asked 'do they like the film' he didn't put himself in their shoes, but them in his. His reply 'yes, he is a kid and kids like aliens, like me'. 'Why did they like it' he replied because it was a film about aliens, everyone likes aliens'

So I think sometimes, putting them into your shoes, can be misinterpreted as putting yourself into someone elses shoes.

Maybe this is what your dd does Lougle?

Ds woud have laughed and then echolalic 'make your own, make your own, make your own' woukd accompany him as he would find a random thing to put his cereal in, put something that may or not be cereal in his bowl, struggle with milk cap and pour milk all over the kitchen, then cover it all in icing sugar.

Ds would never ask me to make him some cereal come to think of it! so I never have the opportunity to tell him to make his own. He never asks for food and he wouldn't eat a thing, unless it was made and presented to him.

With DD2, in the cinema one, she was asked 'what's better, tv or cinema.' 'Why'.

Her answer was 'cinema - you don't have to press any buttons.'

DD3 came to me just now, crying. Again. I heard DD2 say 'are you ok' so that instantly told me she'd hurt DD3 and was trying to stop her coming to me.

I said 'why is it always DD3 coming to me because you've hurt her, DD2? It's never you that gets hurt is it??'

She said 'That's just because I get too refused. I get too refused.'

I said 'what's 'refused' DD2? What do you mean?'

It's like, it's like....it's like... when you want something but can't have it.... like actioning to hurt someone'

That is not 'normal' language in any sense.

My theory is that she restricts herself to safe topics when these people talk to her (teachers, SALT, OT, etc.) She gives short, safe answers. She asks questions to get the focus off her, which makes the adult feel that she's engaging with them, when actually she's just reducing the demand on herself.

Ds replied 'cinema you buy food' (thinking of popcorn which he likes)

Then when we came to 'John is hungry. what could he say 'can you pass the popcorn'

Next question was 'John doesn't have enough money to buy popcorn. what should he do' (this really confused ds as he has already assumed they had popcorn!) 'kids don't have money, its a bad question. He will have to starve. Do they have banks in cinemas or not. If they had banks, kids cant get money, this is a bad question, it doesnt make sense' (this was in a very panicky, quick tone and he wasn't actually asking me a question or waiting for a answer)

'Tell me how you buy a ticket' ds 'you go to the man and pay and check its not fake'! (we have obviously been going to some very dodgy cinemas! )

It is strange Lougle as pre-dx these kind of assessments are used to dx. However as soon as you get a dx, literal and inflexible thinking isn't considered a problem by SALT's. Its as if its only used in the dxing process.

So even if you got a dx, you cant expect SALT input. Im facing the same problem, trying to get SALT to understand how this impacts on ds daily in school.

Par for the course but devastating nonetheless.

I know that she is expensive but I really think you need Margo (Sharp) atm to do the assessments that are not being done. You need someone irl who also sees what you see.

I think the issue I have is that here, on SN, you all believe me. When I write down what DD2 says, I know it's bizarre.

It can't possibly be made up, because it isn't even English

Yet, when the profs read it I hear '...grammatical errors very common in this age group.' or '...she smiled at me.' '...she looked at me.'

All the while I'm thinking 'and???' IT.IS.NOT.NORMAL.

I probably do need Margo Sharp. I can't afford her and I definitely can't afford her to tell me what they've told me

DS reply was 'what are the ingredients' took a while to work out it was because I said "make your own"

See my DS reply and your DD2's lougle are very similar in thought process with similar literal thinking. I wonder if my Hants salt can assess your DD2? I suspect it's different Pcts but she was great.

Can you PM me a name, youare?

Ds just asked 'can I have a blackcurrant drink', I purposefully said can you make yourself a drink and he replied 'I cant, i dont have any blackcurrants'

I explained what I meant and he said 'oh, why do people use the wrong words. I went to see the speech lady in school and she said I was 'bright' and I thought she meant I was happy. She told me it meant intelligent, why didn't she just say that!

and I have been told off for not saying 'pour' yourself a glass of blackcurrant as asking someone to 'make' a drink, makes no sense and is a silly thing to say!

I stand corrected!

He's very smart, Claw.

You can tell him you used the correct word because the bottle has a concentrate in it, and until you add water, it isn't the blackcurrant drink. So you have to make it by adding water to the concentrate.

I just told him what you said Lougle and his reply 'no you are not making blackcurrant, its already been made in the bottle, im not putting it into the bottle'!

Ds was chosen to speak to the school inspectors last week, along with a couple of other kids from his school. I did think oh dear, why would they choose him!

Apparently the inspector asked ds 'what do you like about school' ds replied 'I don't like anything about school, I hate it, its full of bullies'

hahaha!

Claw you can tell him he's absolutely right.

Polter that's very patronising of him.

Earlier I was asking DD2 a question. I was looking straight at her, sat next to her, and said 'do you want cheese on this?'
She said 'Who? Me?'
I replied 'DD2! I'm looking right at you, asking of you want cheese. Who else could I be talking to??'
She looked at me as if I had 3 heads but wisely chose not to answer.

Despite what you see you seem to be given the brush off - a lot of is have been there (and were stuck there for several years).

When you have digested this and what it means you have to decide what your next step is - allow failure and document for expected additional problems with transition into KS2 or fight now.

Sorry the system is worse than you seemed to think it was. It is ironic that you should fear MBP - you can be so pro at times that I have even suspected you are an LA plant!

pro? Pro what?

The system isn't worse than I thought it was. At all. It is what it is. I've been fighting for a year to get DD2's needs recognised, including a change of school already.

DD2 is young, pretty, blonde, a girl and passive. It's always going to be an uphill struggle.

I've long held the view that the education system for SEN is based around 'does this child cause us a problem' rather than 'does the child have a problem' so I have not been surprised.

I'm not an LA plant

He did Polter, I can imagine a few coffee spitting he said what moments in the staff room

A rather quick witted response from miniPolter I have to say!

Not quite as good as his measurements invention though, I still laugh thinking about that!

Lougle - sorry if I made things worse I didn't mean to (but am inadequately socialised)

It is hard to explain. Sometimes people that have travelled a particular path are not entirely honest with people starting on the path (in case they run for the hills). We acquire what we will need on the way if we need to.

My boys were CS but would anybody that had a bad experience with birth want to share it with a first time pregnant woman?