Can we talk about MNSN, and the community/support/chat etc?

[silverfrog]

This thread may not be a good idea. I am severely sleep deprived (ds has decided yet again that sleep is for the weak, and I have had about 4 hours sleep since Sunday), and had the morning from hell getting dd2 off on a school trip - change of routine, needed ot wear tracksuit not uniform, different drop off/pick up - you all know the score. If you all think it is a bad idea, please feel free to report and have it deleted.

Anyway.

Can we have a thread where we try to sort out some of the perceived isues with MNSN?

I keep seeing, on the main boards, posts saying that MNSN is not suportive. That some faces don't fit. That it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Fine. I get that not everybody is the same, and may not want the same things form this board as me, or other posters. But it isn't really said here, and so we don't reallt get right of reply.

It's a bit like talking about us behind our backs.

I know there have ben disagreements and differences over the years. I have been part of some of them, but on the whole I thought we muddled through quite well - expcially given that we are all under a reasonable amount of stress most of the time, and that we all face fairly different challenges on a daily basis.

So - what do people want form MNSN? Is there anything we (as a community) can do to welcome people who feel left out? Anythign we can do to help posters who lurk rather than post?

I am rather hoping htis might be a moving forward discussion, rather than a re-hash of any he said/she said grievances. BUt as I said earlier, maybe this is entirely misguided. Sorry if it is.

HotheadPaisan, I wasn't asking you to justify or challenging you, at all. I was explaining that I don't have an issue with 'PDA' as a diagnosis, at all, but as is typical of diagnoses that are 'symptom collections', what is 'extreme demand-avoidance' to one parent is 'being a bit defiant' to another, so it's a slippery slope for parents to 'diagnose' their children.

DD1's carer has said that DD3 is 'extreme' and 'I need to do something about her because she could be my biggest issue'. Her preschool say she's absolutely delightful. Who's right? time will tell, I guess.

As a group of course we are overly dx focused because without a dx we know that nothing will happen in terms of support. Actually when you're getting down to talking about PDA vs ASD vs ADHD vs SCD it isn't that important IMO. It's just about having enough of a label to qualify for support

Hothead I didn't really want to get involved in the discussions earlier, but just wanted to say sorry things are so hard atm

I agree, fwiw, that what is important is not the 'label' but the difficulties, and I agree that the umbrella term 'ASD' will most likely be broken down in years to come. It's useful if having the right diagnosis can lead to specific strategies that are relevant to your child's specific difficulties. But in reality, as of course you know, even if you had an iron-cast diagnosis, the strategies that might work for some might not work for your child anyway, each child being different and all that.

Anyway, I'm waffling, it's late, but just mainly wanted to offer a shoulder if you need it

Agree Wilson, but I wouldn't tell someone else that their description or name for the collection of behaviours they see is vile and that I don't believe in it, that's just unnecessary.

No, indeed.

And also your post at 23:50 struck a chord. I am quite a shouty person and I recognise the 'rush' you describe. I can understand how that could become quite addictive too. Almost like an endorphin rush? Does that make sense? It's what I imagine people who purge feel like afterwards.