Can we talk about MNSN, and the community/support/chat etc?

[silverfrog]

This thread may not be a good idea. I am severely sleep deprived (ds has decided yet again that sleep is for the weak, and I have had about 4 hours sleep since Sunday), and had the morning from hell getting dd2 off on a school trip - change of routine, needed ot wear tracksuit not uniform, different drop off/pick up - you all know the score. If you all think it is a bad idea, please feel free to report and have it deleted.

Anyway.

Can we have a thread where we try to sort out some of the perceived isues with MNSN?

I keep seeing, on the main boards, posts saying that MNSN is not suportive. That some faces don't fit. That it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Fine. I get that not everybody is the same, and may not want the same things form this board as me, or other posters. But it isn't really said here, and so we don't reallt get right of reply.

It's a bit like talking about us behind our backs.

I know there have ben disagreements and differences over the years. I have been part of some of them, but on the whole I thought we muddled through quite well - expcially given that we are all under a reasonable amount of stress most of the time, and that we all face fairly different challenges on a daily basis.

So - what do people want form MNSN? Is there anything we (as a community) can do to welcome people who feel left out? Anythign we can do to help posters who lurk rather than post?

I am rather hoping htis might be a moving forward discussion, rather than a re-hash of any he said/she said grievances. BUt as I said earlier, maybe this is entirely misguided. Sorry if it is.

It is one of the strengths of these boards, that different variants and shades of conditions can be discussed, and PDA is relatively new as a dx in the scheme of things. Still a recognised term though.
In the same way that some have very strong views on diet or ABA or all the different possible approaches to helping our children manage and interact with the challenges that life throws at them. Some of the ideas may seem a bit woo to me, but that's when I stay silent because if it helps someone else, then it's all good.
DS will still consider himself an Aspie when that diagnosis is replaced by whatever the professionals have decided is the next label. ASC never quite caught on in the way that was expected either.

Look Hothead - if you want a battle please go elsewhere.

You believe in PDA - I don't.

I'm not alone. I know it's awfully bad form to quote Wiki but I think this sentence sums up my own views:

However it could be perceived that the label and training to diagnose it are being marketed by a single point of origin, whilst no corroborating scientific evidence of the condition's existence has been published from any other source.

Love the term 'marketed'.

TNB please put me out of my misery and tell me who you were 'twixt Goblinchild and TNB? IIRC you were someone else too and I remember quizzing you that time too . I know NCing shouldn't matter but for some reason I can't cope with it

She was a fallen carrot.

Umm...
All the names I've annoyed people under? Are you going to assemble a mob with pitchforks and torches?
I was WofflingOn for a bit, and FallenCaryatid and....um...

There's a new phrase now, a caring carrot.
Not quite sure if it applies to me, but it seems to be a rude name for a professional waffler.

Professionallyoffended!

I think the only danger with PDA is similar to that of ASD, in that some of the diagnostic indicators are actually normal features of childhood, which are extreme in presentation.

Therefore, sometimes parents can 'see' PDA in their children and consider their child 'PDA' when actually they are not.

My DD who is 3, is extremely demand-avoidant and can suddenly turn if I dare to either join in what she starts, or do something too soon, too late, too quickly, too slowly, too loudly, too quietly....it's very wearing.

I have no comparator - DD1 has SN, DD2 is ? something.....is this what NT looks like? I don't know.

I read about PDA and think 'goodness, that's DD3!' but it's very much more likely that it's DD3 being 3!

And, wet, Hothead's DS has a PDA DX and she's recommended lots of PDA type strategies to many posters who have found them very beneficial. It wasn't Hothead who said, 'bloody PDA this, and PDA that.'

I now realise I am coming across like a stalker

Ah yes, it was Wofflingon, I remember asking you about it at the time.

I will leave you alone now until the next time you nc

I'm maybe going to review my use of honking. I never thought if it as an exclusive code that would put posters off, because it's meaning is so supportive. But if you don't know it's meaning...

Ellen I was surprised that the honking thing would seem cliquey too, but yes now you put it like that, I can see how that could happen. Though tbh I always feel a bit awkward using it as it sounds like you're vomiting over someone.

Aah I had wondered where Fallencaryatid was!

bialy. And I used the wrong its twice in the same post. Good job this isn't pedants' corner!

I'm late to this, but just wanted to thank evryone who posts on MNSN.
I first found MNSN when I was googling a feature referred to in a very early report from her paed, which was copied to me in error. I was in shock; the first link on Google was disturbing. The second limk was to MNSN - I posted, and will never forget the kind responses.
I have great family & friends, who love DD. I have felt so alone though since her difficulties came to the fore. I was in denial in myself, but to a lesser extent than nearly everyone else round me.
MNSN was (and still is) such a help to me, especially when I couldn't talk to anyone else. I learned how things could be ok, not in the "everyhting will work out ok" sense that family said, but in the "here's what you can try to make things ok" approach from posters here.
So to everyone who posts, I hope I can convey how appreciated and significant your posts can be to a newbie reading the board. And to anyone who lurks/reads regularly and is worried about a DC, please think about posting. You are not alone.