Can we talk about MNSN, and the community/support/chat etc?

[silverfrog]

This thread may not be a good idea. I am severely sleep deprived (ds has decided yet again that sleep is for the weak, and I have had about 4 hours sleep since Sunday), and had the morning from hell getting dd2 off on a school trip - change of routine, needed ot wear tracksuit not uniform, different drop off/pick up - you all know the score. If you all think it is a bad idea, please feel free to report and have it deleted.

Anyway.

Can we have a thread where we try to sort out some of the perceived isues with MNSN?

I keep seeing, on the main boards, posts saying that MNSN is not suportive. That some faces don't fit. That it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Fine. I get that not everybody is the same, and may not want the same things form this board as me, or other posters. But it isn't really said here, and so we don't reallt get right of reply.

It's a bit like talking about us behind our backs.

I know there have ben disagreements and differences over the years. I have been part of some of them, but on the whole I thought we muddled through quite well - expcially given that we are all under a reasonable amount of stress most of the time, and that we all face fairly different challenges on a daily basis.

So - what do people want form MNSN? Is there anything we (as a community) can do to welcome people who feel left out? Anythign we can do to help posters who lurk rather than post?

I am rather hoping htis might be a moving forward discussion, rather than a re-hash of any he said/she said grievances. BUt as I said earlier, maybe this is entirely misguided. Sorry if it is.

Hothead, if you want to offload less publicly, you can always start a thread here and link to OTBT, like you did before? I would hate for you and your DP to be struggling with this alone when there are lots on MN who would be happy to hand hold at the very least.

Hothead - really feel for you, don't have any practical stuff for you, just a wee nudge to keep going, your ds is lucky he's got you

Well thats interesting Polter because for me it's because thats how my mum parented. So in a sense it's my auto response - but because obviously I've been working on my parenting for ages in regard to DS - i only go there now when I'm at the end of my tether. And it feels very comfortable, liberating. Like I'm in the place I'm meant to be in. (OBVIOUSLY while all the time my conscious self is going wtf, shut up!)

Does that even make sense? has been had. I self-observe that being out of control feels like being utterly in control, and I put that down to my parenting role model.

::more articulate::

I caught a bit of this thread when it started going a bit pear shaped around PDA, then ds woke up screaming, but I was at plenty's posts, and just wanted to say that's the kind of thing I read on the main board and thank god I don't see it on mnsn, but obviously I am wrong about that. Hothead, we had a thread going on OTBT once, maybe it would be good to start an offloading thread there.

I feel a bit sad about the honking thing, I have seen lots of newer posters ask (as I did once), what it's all about, and then join in, but I'd hate it to make the place seem like some sort of exclusive club.

Tbh, I don't think honking is any different to 'naice' or 'ODFOD', iyswim, iirc or any other evolving Internet forum in-words.

They make no sense until you ask or see it explained. That's just the way it is.

Yes, I guess. We'll just have to explain it a bit more often.

And I like ODFOD!

HotHead, I'll be back later, but your DS sounds exactly like mine at that age.

I don't have anything valuable to contribute to this discussion. I just wanted to say that I think this section is home to some of the most intelligent, articulate, caring and compassionate people I have ever known in my life, people who no matter what they are going through, are still there for others. I know that there are arguments and that's really sad for everyone involved, but I just really wanted to say that you're all lovely people and nobody is motivated, as far as i can see, by anything other than a genuine desire to reach out to others. To help, to be helped, both.

That's waffly. Point is, I think you're all ace.

Hecate that's a bit luffly!

silver in response to "Is there anything we (as a community) can do to welcome people who feel left out? Anything we can do to help posters who lurk rather than post?

I think you just need to re read the thread to see where it's going downhill for some and why the lurkers may not want to post. I also ask to take a fair look at the messages deleted and how some feel they don't fit due to being bullied or 'face not fitting'.

Some of it also shows how unsupportive the board can be and why some may question why someone says something or the actions of others.

Hope this makes sense x

I don't think it's bullying but I do think people can tend to be far more brusque on the keyboard than they would to someone's face. It's the same on Twitter and Facebook. A couple of extra words can make all the difference in he tone of a post - not fluffiness, just politeness

I too think it's sad I should feel this way about something that should be supportive. My posts are not the only negative posts around and I think it's easy to see why I feel slightly bullied.

Deviant, it's not easy to see why you feel bullied. I don't see it - although I didn't read the deleted posts. Can you articulate why you feel bullied?

It's the same people, doesn't matter what I say or how they think I say it or sometimes even what it's about, it's misinterpreted, used against me then they all join in backing each other, exactly what happened on this thread. Then they all praise each other for doing so. And now I feel Iv'e said too much and the same will happen again, however it is my opinion, we are all entitled to it.

My first post on this thread was met with hello until it all got turned around after each post wasn't read. Then went quickly downhill.