Can we talk about MNSN, and the community/support/chat etc?

[silverfrog]

This thread may not be a good idea. I am severely sleep deprived (ds has decided yet again that sleep is for the weak, and I have had about 4 hours sleep since Sunday), and had the morning from hell getting dd2 off on a school trip - change of routine, needed ot wear tracksuit not uniform, different drop off/pick up - you all know the score. If you all think it is a bad idea, please feel free to report and have it deleted.

Anyway.

Can we have a thread where we try to sort out some of the perceived isues with MNSN?

I keep seeing, on the main boards, posts saying that MNSN is not suportive. That some faces don't fit. That it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Fine. I get that not everybody is the same, and may not want the same things form this board as me, or other posters. But it isn't really said here, and so we don't reallt get right of reply.

It's a bit like talking about us behind our backs.

I know there have ben disagreements and differences over the years. I have been part of some of them, but on the whole I thought we muddled through quite well - expcially given that we are all under a reasonable amount of stress most of the time, and that we all face fairly different challenges on a daily basis.

So - what do people want form MNSN? Is there anything we (as a community) can do to welcome people who feel left out? Anythign we can do to help posters who lurk rather than post?

I am rather hoping htis might be a moving forward discussion, rather than a re-hash of any he said/she said grievances. BUt as I said earlier, maybe this is entirely misguided. Sorry if it is.

I haven't quite worked out what a caring carrot is yet, but I'm sure I will eventually.

I doubt the honking etc stops anyone posting, it?s more not understanding things that can appear to be an ?in joke? makes everything harder to understand, a sticky would do the job.

I really like the honking, but tbh have felt too uncomfortable to use it since this thread.

I am not going to stop honking because I am just a rebel at heart

In a war a soldier asks for back up

People that follow the church ask for prayers in time of need.

Some people ask for a supportive hug.

Some people ask for a kick up the backside.

I am neither a soldier or follow the church and dont fancy being mauled by hundreds of mothers lol so I like honks :) The kick up the backside is the second option

I thought the honking was a horn!

:)

I confess. I love the analogy of the geese. I don't find it easy to honk! I have to just type it and hit post

Annnd...while we're all being upfront. I feel uncomfortable with the 'caring carrots' thingy, because actually, most professionals do care and they are simply constrained by the system within which they must work. I don't feel that most people are out to fail our children. They often do, of course, but I don't think it's a deliberate or malicious act in general.

Of course there are exceptions, like devious LA reps, but in general...

What coff said

Wow can't believe this thread is nearly at 1000!

Nice to see that it's taken a turn into more, ahem, constructive conversation

Lougle I always took the caring carrot thing to refer to professionals who, while they might care, are so clueless/poorly trained/underresourced etc (you name it) the 'advice' offered is just banal and meaningless. Eg "have you tried singing nursery rhymes" as a 'strategy' for a child with (eg) SLI.

I also wish there was an alternative word to use to show solidarity/support other than 'honk' - it's just such an evocative sound of puking, to me.

surely not bialy I would have said that was either BARF, BURT OR HUEY

I havent read the whole of the thread again as it's moved so fast.
Lougle, I kinda agree with you about most professionals do actually care. Most have gone into their professions because of family background of some childhood experience of disability/illness. At least, thats been my experience.

But it is also my experience that, it is very very difficult to admit 'I dont know' in a professional capacity.
I can do it now, because I am old and dont care so much but as a young-un I dont think I could or would. And I may have offered carrots

I dont know if thats got my point across so well.
What I mean is that, as a professional, you come into work, competent because a series of exams and registration requirements mean that your competency has been tested and proved adequate.

Then this client arrives with something that isn't textbook....and what do you do? You offer what you know, some empathy and hope it's sufficient.
The people with the experience, additional training, years of doing the job are, frankly, more expensive to employ. They're off starting their own families. They got shifted to management.
Sometimes, you will get a Clinical Specialist who has years, additional training and who still has a heart- then you will get an excellent service.

Re: Honking. I don't always feel comfortable doing it, but if someone asks for honks, they jolly well get them :o

Though the word does normally conjure up images of honking all over the carpet!

Maryz, caring carrots came from zzzzz's experience of being told, in quite a lot of patronising detail, how to make carrot batons as this would cure her DS's issues regarding food (and perhaps all his 'issues') from a school 'professional.' It has come to mean any patronising yet useless advice offered up by any professional that doesn't seem to have any useful advice to give.

Yes some of the ?caring carrot? thing bothers me too, I'm not a frequent poster but I sometimes feel put off by the possibility that someone would think that in response to one of my posts. But we can?t know what people have already tried and we can only do our best.

So I think we shouldn?t accuse other people on MNSN of giving caring carrots, but only real-life professionals who should know better? Actually I don't think anyone has ever accused another Mumsnetter of giving a caring carrot!

No, exclusively reserved for RL less than professionals! Never used for helpful MN posters.