Child protection SS for those following my story

[claw4]

Social worker has requested a meeting with school, myself and any other professionals involved in ds's care, after school made a referral to social services on the basis of child protection issues to 'get my family some help'

Social worker has made no contact with me at all.

No doubt school are planning on getting everyone in the room to agree with them.

But this is a good sign, right?

'AND STAR WHY WERE UP AT 3AM!?'

I was giving birth Claw!

Congratulations Star!!

Thanks wassup, i think i need to seriously think about whether to take him out or not. It really didnt help me last time. I removed him from old school, in the process of SA and it was very much a case of lets wait and see how he gets on at new school.

I just phoned IPSEA, they cant advise on this

star Congrats!!

WOW youve given birth, like youve just popped to shops or something and back to normal

Are you and baby ok Star? Im soooo excited!

Just don't agree to send him anywhere else until the LA get their act together do a statement for him.

The school trotted out the 'needs to settle in after transfer' line and I have often wondered whether I caused delay but any delay that I have caused pales into insignificance to the years of delays casually caused by schools/LEAs. We have to tread a fine line between fighting to achieve our goals in the future whilst taking care of DS's needs in the present.

We were so far from getting a statement (we are still fighting 3 years later) that it was not an option to keep him at home.

Claw4 - I'm another survivor of this bullying tactic. If you do a search on my posts over the last 18 months you'll see that not only did I vindicate myself totally, but that my son is now happy, mentally healthy & making progress I'd never have DREAMED possible just 12 months ago when I was going through what you are now.

The LAST thing SS services will do is take a child with complex needs from a loving home into care. It's really important you understand this so I'm going to spell out why - (you need to be shaking with suppressed RAGE, not fear!).

1. A family court judge will ask as a FIRST step towards a care order - WTF haven't school followed the MEDICAL REC's?

No social work department is going to be stupid enough to make themselves legally culpable for what is essentially a failure in duty of care & neglect on the part of another agency (school). They are too busy dealing with REAL cases iykwim.

A family court judge has the power to impose real sanctions on agencies that ignore medical advice or abuse their powers to bully familes as is happening to you. Social workers know this, (teachers are ignorant of how CP law works) - noone is going to risk their OWN career!!!!!

Right now I've got the lecture out the way

You are allowed to go to the doctors and get your child signed off due to stress for the rest of term. In fact this action on the part of the school is grounds for an URGENT cahms referral as it's impacting on your child's well being via the distress caused to the family unit. You are also allowed to consider that your own relationship with the school has now irretrievably broken down, and to name a different school in part 4 of your statement.

Buggered if I'd be smiling and greeting the HT in the school playground at pick off and drop of time. Kill glare at 100 paces would be utilised.

I would also write and put a formal correction on my son's file as to you disengaging from the disabilities team in the past.

We all do our best Keepon x

In my daughters case I pointed out to the la that she was ill because they were failing in their duty as set out in law and it worked.

And I did what Boc said re getting her signed of my GP even wrote that her needs were not being met by school which directly impacted on my daughters health and ability to attend.

Thanks Boc, i think i was shaking due to supressed rage, ive had to remain an emotionless robot and it built up and up and up and last night i was just overwhelmed by it all.

What im worrying about is that if i do take ds out of his school, ss might step it up to a CP.

Ds was under CAMHS for year and half.

I have already clarified for school file that i wrote to them on xxx date stating 'i am happy to meet with the xxxx team to discuss this with them futher' and that SENCO then wrote on school file 'parent did not consent'

After this little trick too, school dont want me to meet with ss. They just want ss on their side, i assume to counteract CAMHS.

Alternatively SS might want to investigate why you are leaving your son in a school that is making him ill?? Seriously please go to the GP and get him signed off - that school are being complete bastards to you and your son!

Wassup, i think i just need time to think it all through, im still a bit shell shocked to be honest. I need to get it straight in my own head, deal with this first, before i make my next move.

No one seems able to help when it comes to SS, IPSEA cant offer any advice and i have just phoned a private solicitor and they are going to see if they have any solicitors who could deal with this. Once i know exactly where i stand, i will then feel more confident with moving forward iyswim.

This is all totally alien to me, it makes SA process and tribunals seem like a piece of piss in comparsion, i have no knowledge of this whatsoever and i dont feel confident.

I fully intend to have GP sign DS off for stress come September and transfer to secondary and insist that his needs are properly statemented and to name a different school. Doing that now is the right thing to do as we are further along the process but would not have worked three years' ago and would have appeared to be an over-reaction (even though it would not have been). I have built up 'reasonable but concerned' image that means my views are taken seriously rather than dismissed in advance.

Is it right for you and DS now claw?

I completely understand that Claw - I hate it that you are going through this and I hope you find your way through it soon.

claw It WILL be ok. They wont take your DS off you they have no reason to.

I cant stop you worrying but can tell you to keep a level head on things. Make yourself busy by creating a photocopied file of reports to present to said SW should she ever arise. Then if and when you meet wether it be at the school or at home you can merely hand it over to the SW as it is none of the schools business what you personally hand over to the SW. It will save you getting worked up (like I did when I was empty handed) in feeling that you need to explain your actions over an over. Just think in your head you are doing the right thing and you havent done anything wrong and say that all this is upsetting so to save the emotional outbursts and misunderstandings of what you are trying to say you have written it all down and compiled a file for them to look through in their own time :).Write to the GP/camhs that another poster suggested.

Keepingon, that is exactly how it would be views as an 'over-reaction' on my part, school will say a Tribunal decided that they are meeting ds's needs and that i am just not able to accept that.

I dont think i have been unreasonable at any time, although at previous school it could be said that i was defensive, but previous school instructed me not to contact them under any circumstances, at a time when ds had been admitted to hospital for his self injurious behaviour. He was being bullied something terrible. I was contacting them asking them to put some help in place for ds before he returned to school, as he didnt even have an IEP at the point. Staff had no SN training whatsoever etc, etc. They didnt even have a social skill group. So their understanding of complex needs was extremely limited. I removed him or rather he removed himself, he started to refuse school. Ds didnt have a dx at this point either.

So that school started the 'over anxious' mother. Ds then started at this school which came recommended as being very understanding of ASD, having a unit built there etc, etc. They told me they would support my request for a statement and gave ds 20 hours of TA support when he started. He had 5 hours of support at lunch time in lunch club, social skill group, group for motor skills, SALT with TA 1:1 3 times a week etc. And i thought brilliant, finally.

They decided his 'anxious behaviour and difficulties were only on paper' removed the 20 hours of TA support, ds began refusing lunch club. So he now gets social skill group and motor skills group.

I am back to being 'over anxious' mum again when i ask that ds receives the help recommended by experts.

Ds has never been free from injuries since he started school 2 and half years ago.

I think i need to wait until LA decide whether to agree to SA or not, in a few days time. Then decide what i need to do.

In some ways being falsely branded as the problem is harder to cope with. Unfortunately, once branded, everything that you do to clear your name will be considered to be further evidence that you are over-anxious. Being accused of being over-anxious naturally causes anxiety! I read a pertinent paper as a sociology undergrad on the 'social construction of paranoia'.

I know that they are not meeting DSs needs but you need to stop communicating with them - you will never convince them of the error of their thinking. Keep a record but stop trying to influence their behaviour through communication with the school. They will do what they will do regardless of what you say. Meeting DS's needs in future is linked to a good statement and will not involve that school or those people and so their opinion is irrelevant. Decide that they are idiots and choose to ignore them as much as possible. From one 'heart-sink' mother to another, you know how much teachers hate it when parents initiate contact!

Keepon, you are right, without a statement i will never find the 'right' school. Every school will be exactly the same as the one before.

How do i go about taking ds out of school?

Im not going to make and rash decisions right now as this has effected me more than i first thought, i like to put on a brave front, but im actually feeling drained right now. I think it would be wise to give myself a day at least to recover.

claw

PM me your email address if you want to.

If I can I will send you the attachment I received yesterday about elective home education.

I have currently pulled ds out of his infants for various reasons and I am dealing with transition from home to juniors. I was only emailed it yesterday after a meet.

The protocol so far is for me to write to the school informing them that I wish to de-register ds from their school and will be electively home schooling till his transition to the Juniors.

You could do the same but end it with electively home schooling till he needs are met via a statement of needs? or maybe someone else can finish the letter for you x

To take child out of school.

1. Go to GP without child and explain the situation.

1. Don't leave GP's office without an offiicial letter (photocopy it!) to put on school's file to say that DS is currently too ill to attend. This totally protects you from SS (and puts the ball in the school's court to explain their lack of appropriate support to SS ).

Once you are no longer having to deal with school stress on a daily basis you'll start to be able to think clearly again & see that what I said in my previous post makes total sense.

This whole thing is designed to make you too emotionally distressed to be able to go through with a Tribunal . Nothing more, nothing less.

What to do about SS, they are saying them attending any meetings is not compulsory, its my choice but 'they are there for the child'. So if i refuse meetings, i will look unreasonsable.

But they have also told me if they do attend meetings it will be to try and gather more evidence to make it a CP issue (they are not there to judge apparently)

I have the criteria and guidance for the assessment they are talking about early assessment of need, as its published. And sitting in meetings between the 'accused' and the person making the allegations, is not the criteria. I feel like i have vultures sitting on my shoulder.

The criteria is for the assessment that they are recommending, according to their publication

1. Child is idenified to have additionals needs by agency.
2. discuss concerns with child and family and gain consent for assessment.
3. complete assessment with child and family
4. multi-agency meeting to agree action and outcome

It IS a CP issue!!

The school environment is making your child so ill he cannot access a basic education & is self-harming. It really is that fucking simple.

Get up to date medical evidence to document this simple fact via GP. Get SS to come to your home so they can see for themselves you are a perfectly "normal" family. At the home visit give them the medical evidence.

As a parent you are following due process to address the route cause of his issues - the lack of educational support. What more can YOU do?

You can remove him from the damaging environment (with the support of your GP) and work with Cahms to help your child recover from the damage this school has caused; until such a time as the LA are forced to pull their fingers outta their arses & do their jobs when forced to by the Tribunal process.

Been there got T-shirt.

I chose elective home schooling due to the fact I wanted no contact from the infants school and was moving on so to speak. Also its such a short space of time.

However de registering removes the schools responsibilty of providing work for your DS for home... and on thinking on it will remove them of their responsibility of meeting your DS needs which is not what you want.

I also removed him beginning of last year due to his treatment and no statement in place. It did rush the proffessionals forward and get things moving but I had made sure I had enough evidence to deter the EWO etc.

The GP route sounds a better option tbh x