Child protection SS for those following my story

[claw4]

Social worker has requested a meeting with school, myself and any other professionals involved in ds's care, after school made a referral to social services on the basis of child protection issues to 'get my family some help'

Social worker has made no contact with me at all.

No doubt school are planning on getting everyone in the room to agree with them.

But this is a good sign, right?

Hey Claw, i'm exhausted just thinking about your situation, honestly. But keep reflecting and balancing and above all keep focused on the long term outcome and you'll get through this.

Also, keep a perspective on life. You and your Ds deserve to have quality time together too.

I realised today that I conceived, had a full-term pregnancy, and gave birth all since I first appealed to tribunal, for a hearing still to come! What if DH and I had decided to wait until DS was sorted first?

The truth is, Ds will never be sorted in a system so stacked against him (hope AE doesn't mind me giving her situation as an example) so waiting for that magic day will just give us a life of regrets.

All you can do is deal with the current crap with the aim of improving things/dealing with it the best you can and then moving on, remembering that your Ds' biggest strength is you, not just fighting the outside world but in your relationship with him. Don't ever let the bastards interfere with that.

Star, waiting for decision today, is to give me time to think and prepare.

I think i have all the evidence i need to remove ds from school, but this is a big step for both ds and i and i need to make damn sure my case is bullet proof.

claw keep focused on the bigger picture - getting a good statement. You have to find a way of living in the meantime. Is it possible to speak directly to DS? Eg my DS got in trouble because he was drawing a scooter (current obsession) during a science lesson - the teacher was angry and threw his drawing in the bin. DS thought free drawing was allowed because the other DC were drawing a diagram of a flower. I just put a jokey note it his home/school book 'bizarre though it may sound ...' and let it go. Of course it is wrong that he is punished and this causes increased anxiety and impacts on self-esteem but my energies need to be directed to helping him to find a way to live now and making the future better.

btw CAMHS will place greater weight on their own observations and assessments as they will consider themselves to be more expert than anyone at the school. Remember CAMHS have not supported the school in the past and are not likely to do so without creating a different paper-trail that documents their independent expert opinion.

It will help your case that the anxiety is secondary to school if it fluctuates in line with school attendence or particular school events and you can demonstrate this - even if it is a parental report to an expert that is then recorded.

Glad you had a relaxed night claw :). I dread my computer breaking down, glad you got it sorted and are back.

Hope you hear about SA today.

I'm not sure it matters. Claw is going to Hawaii regardless of whether it is by plane or boat.

Okay, really stupid analogy, but you know what I mean.

Thanks everyone, i phoned yesterday and was told the panel didnt sit until later in the afternoon and that they couldnt tell me the decision until it had been signed. So still none the wiser.

Phoned again today, decision is waiting to be signed and apparently they cannot tell me decision until its signed.

I have question, do you think school are being obstructive or really just not understanding.

Example is that 3 experts have recommended that ds needs the input of an OT, even school requested the input of OT, but this input is not available without the resources of a statement.

It makes no sense that school are requesting the OT input which cannot be achieved without a statement, not backing my request and accusing me of being responsible for d?s anxieties because I have applied for a statement to ensure ds gets the OT input that school have requested.

Should i bother pointing this kind of thing out to school, or just not bother?

I think it depends whether you think that this will lead them to change their behaviour - ie is there any chance they will rethink / behave more logically? Is there any value in terms of future "amunition" to have it on record that they are perverse/ deluded ?

If not, you might be better off designating an old cushion as the person /persons who is being dumb and give the cushion a good slap in the face /kicking. My vegetable patch has several people "buried" in it -motivates me to get digging - the idea of giving them a good going over with me spade :)

I wrote to CAMHS instead, giving that as one example and stating that in the meantime ds's self injurious behaviour is escalating and he is in need of medical intervention and i am being forced to consider removing him school until they have the direction of a statement.

School and SS can go take a running jump! I like the idea of cushions, although i tend to use bleach in moment of stress and give the house a good scrub, i could give the HT and SENCO a good scrub with bleach, i suppose

I have booked an appointment with my GP for next week to get him written off of school for this term.

If you have decided to take DS out of school make sure that you document reduction in self-harming. Sorry to bang on about this but ime the best way to end debate is to create a paper-trail of objective data and refuse to engage in debate that you can't win. Before I learnt not to do it (even though I desperately wanted the school to see me as a good mum rather than either mad or bad) I wrote many a letter - of increasing length - to the Senco/HT, LEA and had endless meetings and achieved sweet FA and spent many an hour thinking about it or talking about it with DH. Its quite simple really - for many of us - that particular school can't or won't meet DS's needs - maybe only an exceptional MS school with exceptional staff can for some DC, maybe SS is needed - so don't waste energy trying to make the school good-enough.

Hope you hear good news today. Fingers crossed.

Keepon, another thing i can document is that ds isnt able to eat in school, although he eats at home. CAMHS have stated that he restricts his food intake as a defence against feeling overwhelmed.

I also have it documented that during ds's ASD dx, i was observed through a 2 way mirror interacting with ds for at the end of the dx process. ASD specialist has written in his report that ds's previous anxious behaviours were clearly reduced when interacting with me and that i was 'adept' at dealing with ds. School have even written on school file (they were at dx too) that mum is calm and quiet! CAMHS have written that ds has a safe and caring relationship with his family.

Im not worried how school view me, i just want them to see what i see, i keep expecting them to have a light bulb moment if i explain it well enough. I can see im wasting my time.

I wrote to CAMHS as they supported my request for a statement last time, so i very much want to keep them on side. They might even support me removing him from school, if i keep them in the loop.

I phoned about SA today, apparently decision hasnt been signed and they cannot inform me of decision until it is.

School just phoned me, apparently SW has asked her to phone and explain what a early assessment of need meeting is.

I let her explain and then told her i was not agreeing to this, as far as i was concerned it was a seperate issue and if SW wanted to discuss schools allegations with me, i would be happy for her to contact me.

What now?

Sit, wait & have a lawyers telephone number in your back pocket.

Stay, strong as you WILL come out the other side of this OK.

I have taken bits of what everyone has said on this thead and drafted a letter to ss manager. What do you think?

School made allegations against me and referred to child protection.

The issue of whether d?s anxiety is caused by home or school has already been resolved by CAMHS. School are attempting to resurrect it by referring me to social services.

CAMHS have written comprehensive reports and made recommendations. School have failed to follow these recommendations.

I am confused as to why social services would put me in a conflicting situation with a school who have just referred me to child protection.

Given school and I clearly have different perspectives and I have tried to work with school over a significant period of time, I don?t see how further meetings with school will help.

As a parent I am following the correct prodecure to address the root cause of ds?s issues, lack of educational support and I have applied to the local authority for this purpose ie a statement. If they do not agree with me, it will then be for a SENDIST tribunal to decide.

School?s allegations against me are a separate issue and I would be happy to discuss these allegations with social services.

Claw, I don't believe the school. I don't believe the SW asked her to phone you. This is all instigated by them.

If you are going to write to the SW make sure you mentioned that you are confused as to why they would ask the HT to phone you instead of doing so themselves. It should raise a red flag with them.

Letter sounds fine btw. Positive and unapologetic!

Thanks Star, i will add that, im going to hang onto sending letter to ss, until i get LA decision. Im guessing they will be refusing my SA request, if they dont, both LA and school are going to look a bit silly.

Referring me to ss, then agreeing that it is likely that ds does need specialist provision and a statement.

Should i also add that given my SA request could potentially result in tribunal and SENCO being a witness for the LA, its not in ds's best interest? I havent worded that right, but you know what i mean?

I would leave your letter as it is claw as its good and to the point.

I also find it hard to believe that a SW would get the school HT to phone you when the SW could quite easily have advised you themselves. Its all very strange.

The inability of school to follow the advice given and documented by cahms, has over a period of time seriously impacted your son's health. He is unable to access the curriculum as a result. The situation is so serious that you are currently taking advice on legal action via the educational Tribunal process to force the school to implement their duty of care to towards your child's education and emotional well being.

The SW would phone you themselves. I personally don't believe that the HT was asked to do it on the SW's behalf - someone's pants are on fire

Well done - keep it as a draft pending LEA decision and any contact originating from SS.

That's how I weaned myself of the complustive letter writing and almost obsessive desire to articluate the argument in such a perfect way that nobody could possibly disagree. (I'm not suggesting that you do/did this - just me)

Why are SS not following their own guidelines with regards to the assessment?

When i spoke to SW previously, she told me they had advised school to arrange an early needs assessment. This is not in their guidelines at all.

Step one discuss concerns with family and gain consent for ENA

Step two register assessment

Step three comple assessment with family

Step four get responses from all professionals involved

Step five meeting with professionals to discuss aims and outcomes.

Why ss advising school to go straight to step 5?