Child protection SS for those following my story

[claw4]

Social worker has requested a meeting with school, myself and any other professionals involved in ds's care, after school made a referral to social services on the basis of child protection issues to 'get my family some help'

Social worker has made no contact with me at all.

No doubt school are planning on getting everyone in the room to agree with them.

But this is a good sign, right?

Thats good.
Sounds like they are still backing / trusting you
They have enough children to deal with they are not going to want to be dragged into CP meetings etc for a child who does not need it
Hope school get told very firmly by SS not to waste everyones time and money

I was going to write to camhs.

Telling them his self injury has become serious and extensive and he is now unable to attend school and attach a copy of GP letter.

I was also going to tell them i find IEP target totally inappropriate for a child who suffers with high anxiety and low self esteem. That his self injury escalated shortly after the writing of this IEP and what SALT reported.

Finish with I am concerned about ds?s mental health, this could be remedied with the appropriate understanding and support in school, which is why I have applied for the direction of a statement.

Does that sound ok?

Absolutely claw!

Thanks guys, 4 letters typed, printed and ready to go. Just need to post them.

Ds is waiting patiently for his 'home school' to begin, bless, we will have to have a 'home school' trip to the post box later!

In my opinion, maybe you should ask yourself why you want to write to CAMHS again? It helps to have (some) experts on your side and to take care of that relationship. Perhaps it would be better to follow their advice and go back to your supportive GP and ask for a referral back to CAMHS rather than writing to them again about a case that they have already told you is closed (and how to reopen it)? Perhaps only write if and when you have a specific request? See things from their viewpoint - how can they reply any differently from their original letter?

Whilst waiting for an appointment you can then document the reduction in anxiety and self-harm when DS is out of school. You can then, at CAMHS appointment, express your concerns that there would be an increase if DS was to return to a school environment that did not adequately support his needs.

You then have 1. CAMHS report of school based anxiety, 2. Increased anxiety and self-harming, 3. GP sign off for stress, 4. GP re-referral to CAMHS, 5. Evidence of reduction in stress out of school, 6. CAMHS support.

At the end of the day you want CAMHS continued support - ask yourself how best to achieve it.

(Hope above doesn't sound to harsh but I've never really learned to keep unwelcome opinions to myself - ask DH )

I appreciate your opinion Keepon.

I suppose that i am trying to keep CAMHS onside and in the 'loop' seen as SS will obviously want to liase with CAMHS and SS are obviously liasing with school. I feel im being totally excluded and i feel very uncomfortable about leaving school, CAMHS and SS to liase, without any input from me whatsoever.

Maybe i could reply to their letter, telling them of the above and finishing with I am concerned about ds?s mental health, this could be remedied with the appropriate understanding and support in school, which is why I have applied for the direction of a statement. However, i will also follow your advice and ask GP for a referral?

Their exact wording was 'if you were concerned about his mental health, you can ask gp to approach CAMHS for a re-assessment of his needs. For now, i am enclosing a copy of report when ds was discharged this might be of some assisstance'

I think that is a good idea Claw. Go back to the GP who has been supportive and get them to urgently refer and then you have someone external and objective doing this because of their concerns. You have someone supporting you.

All that CAMHS and the school could do is talk about you behind your back - they have only (biased) opinion rather than objective evidence.

Regardless of how much of a bitch-fest may or may not take place, objective evidence (which you will supply) always trumps unsubstantiated opinion.

Besides which you do not want to inadvertently give the school ammunition by persisting in trying to enter into a dialogue with CAMHS. Couldn't you bring them up to speed at appointment - your opinion will carry greater weight if presented at the same time as objective evidence of reduction.

Keepon, I see what you are saying, maybe i am being a bit defensive and trying a bit too hard.

By the time ds got his last referral so much had gone on, the more i tried to bring CAMHS up to date, the more defensive i looked. Excepting CAMHS to look through pages and pages of saved up evidence, made me look resentful.

I have tried to go about it, as i am happy for my gp to refer back for re-assement, in the meantime seen as you will liasing with SS, here is a copy to keep you up to date type of thing.

I have only written them one letter previously stating that SS were involved etc and might want to liase with them.

I have no need to write to them again, as i will be going to gp for referral.

Maybe i am coming across as desperate, but is that such bad thing? I am desperate, im desperate for someone to understand ds and support ds and what i am saying.

Letter from Camhs translates as ta for the info but sadly we can't do anything with it till GP sends us paperwork to reopen case.

Trip to dr sounds like a nice educational homeschool outing!

Maria, yes it does doesnt it. I will be making another appointment with GP or i might just drop off a copy of the letter and ask him to make the referal.

They did say they would be happy to liase with ss and copied them into their letter too. Seen as SS havent even spoken to me and seem to taking what school is saying as gospel, rightly or wrongly i felt i had to have some input. One thing i have learnt along the way is to trust no one, even if they do appear to be on side.

I would go in if you can. Nothing like displaying the patient!

Maria, ds has been off of school for a week now and already his sores are starting to clear up.

Even ds has noticed "mum why are my cuts going a different colour" (from red and inflamed to pink)

Me "because they are getting better. Why do you think that is"

Ds "i havent been scratching as much"

He was even singing along to the radio in the car, smiling and letting me join in yesterday. Usually he cannot tolerate noise and the radio has to go off, he pulls his cap down over his face and sits in silence and will get very agitated if you even speak to him.

He is more socialable, he has been spending more time downstairs, instead of in his room

You could just deal with it via GP

I would not get into the IEP stuff just say you were very concerned about his mental health while in school & injuries had been increasing since the support was removed - but as you consider that is school related anxiety, you do expect that to improve now he is home

you could point out the injuries are improving already

Be good for the GP to be able to note he has scratches which are beginning to heal over

However even if his mental health does improve he will need CAMHS support to get him back into education, so you think a referral will be needed to support that process / get to the bottom of what is causing the anxiety / self harm and their involvement will be needed if your appeal for statutory assessment is successful

I don't think you need to worry about SS too much, if they were concerned they would have knocked on your door already. They will have to do something to formally close the case but I can't see them wasting precious resources on you. I think they will be annoyed with the school for dragging them into it and giving them paperwork they don't need.

If need be just take him to the GP every few weeks to get it recorded he is improving at home.

That way the GP can write a letter when you get an appointment through for CAMHS documenting that your DS self injury was bad in June but has improved throughout the summer.

I think what Keepon is saying is if you stick to facts and not opinion (including yours) that the evidence will speak for itself

CAMHS can't take a view until they have reopened the case and then its going to be based on their assessment of how your DS presents, not on your opinions as to what school has done wrong or his IEPs. And given the school are saying its all in your head I would wait for CAMHS to ask you questions.

Hopefully as your DS improves then that will be all the evidence you need.

Keep taking the photos / keep a diary e.g. on self injury

Claw, transcript and date those conversations. They won't be given loads of weight but they can help. There is after all an interest in the 'chikd's views'.

Thanks Agnes and Star, i do keep a record. Im just so happy, i could cry, that after 2 and half years ds might actually be free of any injuries.

I will remain focused though, thanks for the advice.

Claw. I pleased. It is amazing how so many things change when the child is out of an environment which is toxic.

I watched my son play a giggly, enthusiastic role in sports day yesterday. Last year, he lay, ignored, fully clothed, on a school bench, not taking part.

I may moan about the TA or provision not being in place but this school has made a massive difference to his sense of well-being and confidence.

Every child deserves that.

Claw you are doing great! :) I am really pleased to see that your DS is settling down and his sores are healing. Just shows how happy he is at home with you and how much stress he was under at that school.

Good on you and good on you for staying level headed on all this. You are a force to be reckoned with

It is good to keep camhs in the loop even though you need to go via GP for another referral re MH you are still keeping them up to date in the meantime so he will still be fresh in their minds when his appointment comes through x

Thanks very much guys, at the moment im so chuffed with ds i had forgotten what my ds was like before he started school 2 and half years ago. Im starting to see the 'real' him again. Today we even played 'offices', a pretend game, instead of him asking to be left alone and for me to shut the door while he lined things up in his room!

I got so frustrated reading his IEP targets and that the TA who has been doing 'anxiety management' once a week with ds for half hour for a few months, has now become an expert in dxing the root of his anxiety, based on 'when asked what his worries were in school, he replied 'i hardly have any' therefore its home based. A year and half's worth of Camhs therapy down the drain!

I can ask ds 'what do you worry about at home' and he would reply 'nothing'. He would say the same about school if i asked him.

Seems they are waiting for him to say i use my body to channel my confusion because i am a passive little soul, who desperately wants to be approved of, i cant fully understand instructions or language and im always last to do everything, because i wait and watch what others are doing, so that i can comply and i cannot express myself clearly, i struggle with social interactions etc, etc

He can express what his worries about to me as and when it has happened, but if i were ask him right this second, what do you worry about in school he would reply 'nothing'

Great claw. Keep that post as a reminder and baseline.

I think removing a child from school and society's norm is actually a very brave thing to do, not to mention hard emotionally as we are conditioned to see the need to do it as some kind of failure either of our kinds or ourselves.

But the truth is YOU are the one with the ultimate power over your child's well-being and happiness, not to mention education. And removal from school is often a positive thing, especially when you have tried to make it work.

I've removed Ds from 2 placements and refused to put him into another entirely. I was wobbly doing each of them but the RELIEF for us all once the decision was made was huge!

GP will be really pleased the scratches are finally healing! Think of the number of sick lines they'll have dished out, and at last, one that cured the patient