Child protection SS for those following my story

[claw4]

Social worker has requested a meeting with school, myself and any other professionals involved in ds's care, after school made a referral to social services on the basis of child protection issues to 'get my family some help'

Social worker has made no contact with me at all.

No doubt school are planning on getting everyone in the room to agree with them.

But this is a good sign, right?

I'm quite frankly not bloody surprised Claw!

You're not fucking superhuman!

Btw, they're not going to take him off you. That is not what is going on here.

claw I know this feels crap - it feels bad to document behaviour rather than try whatever to help but it results from an absolute disbelief from the school of any problem and where they view you, increasingly, as completely irrational. When I was reported to SS I heard nothing from the school all day and then at pick up time I was invited into the classroom and my kids were whisked away - both DS at the school and DS2 who was 3 at the time. I felt utterly powerless.

But what you have to remember is that you are NOT irrational and this is NOT a child protection issue. Only the school believe this and they are wrong. Meet with SS in an undefensive way. They will see that you are right. You are not the only mother who has been reported to SS for educational issues and this really pisses SS off who are very busy dealing with real child protection issues. You have nothing to hide or fear. Try to turn it into a positive - you are pleased that they are getting involved - what resources can they offer? The involvement of SS was good (in the end) because it resolved once and for all that the problem was not at home/the parents. It wasn't just me saying it - it was the conclusion of SS following investigation.

claw - just to be clear - only the school whisked my kids away and they gave them back when they had informed me of their dirty deed - I always wondered if this was in case I went 'beserk'.

There is no way that SS will have any interest in taking DS away. It is just the school playing on your deepest fears.

Justabout aww bless you and thank, im a bit at being inspirational to anyone

Star thats the problem i try to be superhuman, well more like an emotionless robot, i bottle it all up, then last night i just felt overwhelmed by all. But back to business as usual today.

Keepon, thanks so much for your wise words and to everyone else on the this thread, ive never had any dealings with ss and i was going about it all the wrong way, thanks for helping me to understand and see things clearly.

I am forever grateful, that you have all been here for me, when ive needed help and support more than ever.

AND STAR WHY WERE UP AT 3AM!?

It's worth leaving a message for Camhs and GP telling them school has ref to CP, you're not clear of reasons so far. You had consented to referral to children with disability team, was re-routed, not told why.

Run next bit past lawyer but common sense would say you:
Are happy for GP and Camhs to share any necessary info with SS of whichever brand, when they feel it's in his best interests. Prefer to be informed whenever possible.

However, not giving blanket consent for direct info sharing between NHS and school/ LEA as you are formally challenging them re his education provision and disregarding camhs advice.

I think Camhs are going to be p off that they were ignored. I think they will give SW a rocket for listening to school not NHS.

And keepon is right. CP have more than enough real work to do!

Just phoned SS is has not even been allocated to a SW.

So i asked who requested the xxxxx multiagency meeting. I was told ds does not met the threshold for CP, so the xxxx multiagency meeting is what they advice.

So i asked what is the purpose of SW attending the meeting, she said to determine if ds did met the threshold. I said surely a better way of establishing whether he met the threshold was for me to meet with a SW and discuss the allegations. I was told they cannot met with me as ds doesnt met the threshold!

WTF?

She also said she understands that ds suffers with anxiety, i said yes. She then said and where does he get that from you! I replied no i do not suffer with anxiety or any related disorder. She then started to tell me about how anxiety is genetic! I told her ds's anxiety was school related and i would happily send her copies of the CAMHS reports.

She then tells me the SW isnt there to judge anyone!!

Have you filled in a CAF form? The school had several attempts to force/trick us to do this. It may look as if it is an assessment of your child's needs but it is really about sharing information between various government agencies (not just the NHS and the LEA/school) but social care and housing and the criminal justice system.

If your contact with these agencies is limited or non-existent it is not necessary to fill in a CAF form. To my mind a CAF form provides ammunition to the school that any problem is likely to be non-educational but related to economic/social/psychological deprivation of some sort.

They suggested a CAF last time i applied for SA. I told them i thought a better way of establishing ds needs was through SA etc, etc. I will be steering well clear of a CAF.

I need to follow this up in writing, what to write? Her explainations made no sense.

Ok what you have here is a school that are sending referrals to SS in spite. SS are aware that often schools say "child protection" when clearly it isn't, it's a child in need.
I would be very careful tbh.
Ss have already seen the referral does not meet the guidelines for CP which is very good but they now have to decide if they are even able to offer anything under child in need. They may well, gather evidence and decide that you don't meet those guidelines either and just close the case. SS do NOT act on every referral given and often gather evidence and close cases with advice given to the referer to a better more suited service.
I would be pulling my kid out of that school quick smart if it was me!

The school did this to me about 2 years ago before my daughters needs were diagnosed. The school invited the head teacher of my daughters previous school, social workers and other professionals. The other professionals couldn't make it and neither could I. I even said that I didn't give my permission but they went ahead anyway. I got the minutes which was basically a bitching session and another of my children was going through diagnosis was discussed and the minutes actually said that I was making up symptoms because I liked the attention from professionals.

The headteacher from my daughters previous school were my boys attend still came up to me and couldn't of been more apologetic about the minutes. So I asked her to put it in writing that she didn't agree with the minutes and that they were not a true representation of her thoughts or of what she actually said.

SS came round, my daughter had not been at school for several months and we were awaiting the final diagnosis and a statement. I put a record together of emails, reports, appointments meetings, evrything which supported our case.
I also recorded the meeting which was about us agreeing to get our daughter back into school as soon as possible. I held firm and said that once her needs were written in the statement with the provision required then and only then would we look into returning her to school, that the LA had the responsibilty to meet her needs. They insisted on seeing my daughter. My 3 year old meanwhile who now has a dx of ADHD went up to one of them and started hitting them randomly which of course we did stop as soon as we got hold of him - karma and all that!! My daughter was going through severe anxiety she was shaking just because strangers were in our home so getting her downstairs was tricky as you could imaginge but I got her half way down so they could see her and then she shot back up.

I was asked questions that could she use the toilet, feed herself, bathe herself.....really dubiuos (implying abuse), questions in regard to how her father felt about her - why was she refusing to talk (daughter has Selective Mutism amongst other things)

Anyway I gave them the file and left. A report came saying no further action a few weeks later but with some inaccuracies on it which I challenged such as the SS workers saying that I was anxious about getting my daughter to see them. I had the recording and sent them a copy along with my own minutes - just for the record.

It was stressful, I couldn't eat and sleep but what kept me going was knowing I was right and that this would get sorted out and that the head of that school was wrong as was the SS to treat us a family that way.

You can do it - I did! Stay strong and look after yourself xxx

Lisad, thanks maybe that is what i need to be asking them, if ds doesnt meet the CP criteria, what happens now, will the file be closed.

The criteria for the certain assessment they are recommending is on their website and it clearly states the guidelines, which they are not following, if they are going to recommend it.

I dont want to piss off SS, but i need closure on this once and for all.

DS stayed in that school for another 18 months (misplaced pride - we are not going way) before transferring to another school on appeal after a hospital dr wrote referring to the development of a strong school phobia. With hindsight we should have got him out sooner - the relationship with the school is irrevocably broken - think about how stressed you feel on school grounds/seeing teachers and remember that he is there for all day, each day.
In my experience animosity to us as parents leaked out in their attitude to him. Get your DS out and start frest somewhere else. It won't make you look irrational whereas keeping him at a school that can't/won't meet his needs just may. Any new HT can't be worse!

Wassup, sorry to hear you had to go through this as well, i cant eat or sleep either. I felt a moment of relief when she said not a CP case, but my heart has sunk again, as i know this is not the end of it, just the beginning.

Keepon, this is ds's 2nd school, by moving him again, at least before i get a statement, would only add fuel to what school are saying.

In fairness to school, if there is any fairness to be granted to this school. Last school had exactly the same problem, ds's needs are complex and they just dont understand them.

Ive heard 'he only has difficulties on paper' referring to expert assessments, so many times, i could scream. How the bloody hell does that work, he either has the difficult or he doesnt. He 'only has difficulties on paper' just means you dont see or understand the difficult, but its still bloody there!

Claw It was my daughters 2nd school but it was making her too ill. I had to take her out as her needs were not being met which helped to get a statement at the end of the day.

Don't take him of the school books though, just point out that presently he is to anxious to attend because his needs are not being adequately met which is the LA and schools responsibility to put right.

The referral to SS happened about 18 months into DS's second school. We didn't move him because we thought it would be the same in any school, that it would add fuel to what the school were saying and because we didn't want to put an anxious child through yet another transfer. DS also had complex needs and this is compounded by him hiding much of his behaviour in school. If the issues were clear-cut and obvious you would not be experiencing this.

The new HT/SENCO at the school to which he tranferred was wonderful. Don't get me wrong, DS's needs have still not been met but the transfer halted the development of school phobia and more importantly transformed DS's day to day experience. Fighting to have needs met in a complex case can take years - it is important that day to day experience does not exacerbate already existing problems.

The new HT shared our point of view and was supportive and thoughtful. Unfortunately he retired and has been replaced by an absolute bastard. The point is DS's needs have not reduced or changed but in his 3 primary schools we have had one very competent bastard, one human being and one completely incompetent bastard.