Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Stupid things others say

128 replies

lisad123 · 11/02/2012 23:30

Had one of the mums at the school the other day tell me I should let dd2 sit in her SN buggy because it makes her look more disabled! Shock

At SN soft play event tonight and a little boy was pinching other kids and telling them to shut up (he has autism). Another parent complained to his mum and told her she should warn other parents that his not normal!!

What horrible stupid things have people said to you?

OP posts:
Toni27 · 13/02/2012 17:45

this is the best thread ive read on here so far! So true, get so fed up with other parents saying ooh well i did this and that with my child. Yes well done, i didnt try any of that at all..........yeh right! And arent you such a good mummy and a perfect teacher and i must not be as good as you! F-off!
The best one is the mummy at toddlers who asks me every week how my son is doing, then proceeds to tell me all the things that her (younger)son can do way better than mine! And then always adds, "well i know i probably shouldnt be pushing him to do this much so young but he just picks everything up so easily....." oh yes well done, smug cow.

davidsotherhalf · 13/02/2012 20:53

called in ofsted....called parents meeting in school hall.... asked what other parents thought, and any problems, (this was only tip of iceburg) anyone remember the bullying that hit all national papers and news about 7yrs ago(my ds).....boy tied to tree n whipped? boy taken out of school lesson and locked in outbuilding after being tied up? bike wheel put on boys head while they held him down at school and they jumped on the wheel so the bolt part went into his head and fractured his skull?.......well i got ht and deputy head sacked.....well they went to the meeting and that was last we saw of them.

boredandrestless · 14/02/2012 09:07

davids that really is horrendous - I hope that was the end of their career's in education! Is your DS ok in school these days? Mine has been bullied but not to this level, I can only imagine how distressing it was for the whole family.

boredandrestless · 14/02/2012 09:08

glad my trouser tip helped someone Idonotlikefun.

keeping wow I wish I had someone who could do DS's trousers! It's so tricky isn't it to get a good fit!

blueemerald · 14/02/2012 13:33

I've posted this before but my mother still has the letter from the Head of my brother's special school (specialising in HFA, Asperger's and ESBD) stating that it was "unheard of" for a student to get extra time or a laptop etc in pubic exams. It was extremely upsetting when we first received it but we soon realised that putting this is writing was the greatest gift that Head teacher could have ever given us.

osospecial · 14/02/2012 13:38

LOL @ willowthecat page2 'all the books say you must never talk within 10miles of a baby'
As I am naturally quite shy+quiet people always assume its my fault dd cannot talk, they just assume I don't speak to her enough (I actually talk a lot at home+im always talking to dd)
I've had all those comments - 'I used to talk to dd from the minute she was born', Really?? I just gave birth to my dd+put her in the corner+forgot about her! Argghh

RinkyDinkyDoo · 14/02/2012 21:03

"Are you sure he's autistic, he looks so normal?"
"Oh he's just shy" when he doesn't respond/look at/ to them
"Oh autistic childen are so loving"- mmm, should be autistic children can make you feel so alone and inadequite/hopeless as a mother
"Just give him a smack and he'll do as you say"
"He's so clever" when he's delayed echolaling and just repeating shite that he has no idea what he's saying as his speech and language is at least 3 years behind his actual age
Yes arse off all you stupid/interferring bystanders

nenevomito · 14/02/2012 21:18

Oh Rinky - the echolalia! DS does the same thing.

RinkyDinkyDoo · 14/02/2012 21:22

The best is when he was saying bonjour, bon appertite and avoir(sp) in tescos. The girl on the till was asking how we were getting on now he was dx (she's known him since he was tiny).The guy in the line said "There's nothing wrong with his language, he can bloody speak french. lol

RinkyDinkyDoo · 14/02/2012 21:27

Should say that it was because of Delphine Donkey coming to stay on Peppa Pig.lol

nenevomito · 14/02/2012 21:31

Grin Grin

whojamaflip · 14/02/2012 21:58

Most of mine are from my Mil who just won't accept that ds2 has problems (epilepsy, asd, pos development delay) nuggets include....

"you cause all his problems cos your life is too busy"

"he needs a good smack to stop this behaviour"

"he'll talk when hes ready - he's just taking it all in" Hmm

"Have you considerd talking to the doctor about your possible Munchausens Shock"

But the best yet is from his godmum who was complaining cos she had ended up with the "broken" nephew! Shock Angry

mommapiggy · 14/02/2012 22:28

Oh this thread is saving my sanity!

Although......I'm suprised the following hasn't featured more....

'But Albert Einstein didn't talk until he was 7'

(where 7 actually means any random age that people wish to quote)

prozacpopsie · 15/02/2012 19:06

Brilliant thread.

Just shouted at my mum (not her fault, and I apologised) as I'm fed up with people trying to dissuade us that my son has Aspergers.

Yes, I've lived with my son for five years but you clearly know better...

Fuckwits...

GoingForGoalWeight · 15/02/2012 22:33

Mother to child in supermarket "What's wrng with him?". Mother replies "I don't know", whilst smirking. Child repeats "What's WRONG with him?". Mother replies (laughing) "I don't know he is a spaz ain't he?". Que more laughing.

People just do not give a fuck. Angry

I've heard so many vile remarks, filthy looks over the years to my face and within earshot, i say nothing. I let it go.

I do not want a criminal record, it'll jeoperdise any hope for my working future.

They're ignoran,t unfeeling cunts. Grin

Original poster
lisad123 · 15/02/2012 22:42

Physchologist This week! Telling me how wonderful children with Asd and how so many have wonderful memories for facts like remembering places and dates ect. I piped up with "yes wonderful information about number plates is very useful Grin"

"I would never have said they were autistic" is a common one. Good job their pead knows more then Angry

Autistic children at always very clever Confused

OP posts:
GoingForGoalWeight · 15/02/2012 22:42

((david)) x

LollipopViolet · 15/02/2012 23:03

Oooh I've had some good (well, bad) ones in my tim.

You'll all remember Nasty Bus Driver With an Axe to Grind

Then while at my Christmas job and struggling to reach speed targets "Well, we can't make allowances just because of your sight" Erm, yes you can, and I'm pretty sure you HAVE to... Hmm

Same guy, at same job "You want your keyboard just in the bottom of your peripheral vision so you don't have to keep moving your head to read the screen and type" Erm, I have limited peripheral vision and you knew this...

Again, same idiot (how did I not walk out of that job...?) "How would you feel if you were waiting on a Christmas present to arrive and you didn't get it in time because someone couldn't be bothered to read your writing?" AHEM! It's not a case of I couldn't be bothered, you moron, I actually physically cannot read it without giving myself a headache!

Fortunately, he was just a training mentor, my actual manager was fine and set me a lower speed target, told me to focus on accuracy and was generally easy going because I'd been upfront about my sight.

Countless MN threads saying if you don't drive you're a burden, selfish etc etc. They pop up often enough and I always feel I have to say my piece "I WANT to drive, but read my lips: I. Am. Not. Allowed. Due. To. Disability."

Have had a few "Oh, well you look perfectly normal to me" comments, but that's genuine surprise when I mention the not driving thing (I don't use any aids in terms of mobility - no cane/guide dog, nothing so I do look "normal" as they put it).

stephanielittl7 · 16/02/2012 11:43

hi all have never been so amazed at the stupid things people will say!!! my own personal 2 favourites are from grandmother youve got to think he will get better!! (my son has fragile x no cure) if only that were possible!!! and coming a close second hes not disabled hes not in a wheelchair!! this was said by total stranger in street after son had meltdown!!!

theDudesmummy · 16/02/2012 12:13

Yes the bit about the talking to a baby, I could have hit this friend when, in the middle of a dinner party, she asked me if I had "tried talking to him", and then proceeded to tell me how SHE had talked to her children all the time when they were little, how you have to use simple words etc etc. My DH had to calm me down after that one.

boredandrestless · 16/02/2012 13:00

Going - I've had someone on the bus loudly ask me what is 'wrong' with my ds.

Well for a start he's not deaf Hmm, and he really could do without people thinking he is 'wrong' FFS. Angry

zzzzz · 16/02/2012 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RinkyDinkyDoo · 16/02/2012 13:09

I was in the changing rooms at the swimming baths yesterday, struggling one handed with DS as can't let go of his hand (he's a runner :o ),trying to get bag out of locker, carrying float etc Older lady offered to get my bag out of the locker, I thanked her and explained why I couldn't let go of his hand, "Oh" she says, "You'll grow up really clever then won't you. All those autistic kids are dead clever".
As she'd been helpful, i didn't get into the coversation of complex learning difficulties.

willowthecat · 16/02/2012 13:13

Rinky - A Health Professional told me the same thing 'Autistic children are all extremely clever' not like her then.

PurplePidjin · 16/02/2012 14:19

bored, that's my favourite question in relation to DN