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Cup and the Teaset face 2012- and this year, Beatrice means business!

1000 replies

cupofteaplease · 06/01/2012 17:02

Hi. Chances are if you've opened this thread, you may have followed us from here I thought the new year needed a new thread (also the old one was nearly full!)

The basics: Beatrice has central arthrogryposis and extensive cortical dysplasia. She is 16 weeks old and weighs 8lb 1oz. She is on continuous oxygen at 0.2 litres. She is fed Infatrini with Duocal mixed in via NG tube. She is undergoing ponsetti treatment for her talipes, she also has splints for her hands and is now in a pavlik harness full time for her shallow hip sockets. She is coping very well with all of her treatments. Smile Her community children's nurse describes her as 'defying all the odds'.

The positives: If you have a 4 month old NT baby, the following will probably seem pretty poor progress, but for Beatrice who was stiff and non responsive at bith, she has made great gains. Smile Bea seems very alert in this last week and is becoming more vocal too! She happily shouts at me when something isn't going her way- a vast improvement as she couldn't even cry when born. She moves her arms in all directions now and manages to lift her legs, even with the cast and harness. When she is under her play gym with lights, she moves her arms and legs in appreciation. She also mouths when she is hungry. Her breathing pattern seems much more regular since being on oxygen. She not only recognises my voice and turns to find me, but she can also distinguish other people talking and will move her head in different directions to find who is talking. We assume her eyesight is very poor, although we know she can see shadows and bright lights when it is dark. She adores the cinema and has been twice now!

The downers: Her weight gain is painfully slow- on average 2oz per week. She has fallen off the growth charts completely. She is still sick a couple of times a day. She is having a barium meal and swallow study on Monday to see if there is anything going on. Her sats are irregular and heartrate is very high, so weaning her off oxygen (which she started when she had pneumonia before Christmas) hasn't started yet.

Support: Beatrice was finally awarded DLA at the highest rate today, and we have been told to apply for a blue badge as parking in tight spaces with her oxygen is somewhat problematic Hmm. Next week, our lovely physiotherapist who has been administering the weekly plaster casts is going to start coming to our house to do some massage and play and encourage her arm movements even more. The referral to Helen House Hospice is still being processed. After Bea's casts have come off permanently (just 2 more to go!!) I plan on taking her swimming at the hydrotherapy pool in the special school where my SIL works as a SLT.

At the end of January we have a review with our 'lovely' paediatric consultant, Dr Scrooge. We havent managed to shake her off yet!

Thanks for following us here- I'll add some more pictures in a minute. Smile

OP posts:
Hellenbach · 15/02/2012 18:48

Sorry to hear you are back in hospital, hopefully it won't be for too long.
Of course you are entitled to feel hacked off and bitter. I do on a regular basis! Wink
Hang in there, thinking of you both x

ValEdictory · 15/02/2012 18:48

Oh, well, Cup we're not going to ignore you and Bea, so I'm afraid you're stuck with us. Grin The great joy of MN is that it's a place to rant and whine if you need to, among friends.

So sorry to hear you're back in the hopsital - oncology isn't much fun (and I say that as a cancer survivor). Can you spot someone who isn't too busy and make yourself known? No doubt they will be along at some point.

Be kind to yourself - you've had to be so brave and positive, you are allowed your "off" days moments.

Have they told you what to expect next?

DazR · 15/02/2012 18:53

Another lurker here seizing an opportunity to remind you that you are truly AWESOME. No-one who has read your story would call you Scary Cup.

I think your feelings towards the person expecting a baby girl are perfectly normal - and equally I am sure they understand your situation. When I was pregnant with my DD1 my neighbour miscarried and I felt very guilty having my baby - even hated hanging my baby clothes on the line to dry incase it upset her.

Hope Bea is just having another temporary blip and that she is soon home with her sisters enjoying the remainder of the half term holiday.

Sending you all hugs and best wishes xx

Lilithmoon · 15/02/2012 19:01

Postive thoughts from us today. You and your family are amazing.

mycatsaysach · 15/02/2012 19:04

another one who you're stuck with here Smile

sending good wishes and a big hug - hospitals can be v v lonely places xx

bigbluebus · 15/02/2012 19:16

Sorry to hear Bea is back in hospital. Hopefully you won't be there for too long. Maybe they will move you to your usual ward if they get a spare bed.

Glad to see you have been getting out and about recently and hope you get there again soon.

Don't beat yourself up about your thoughts re your friend having a baby girl - you are only human. I remember after my DD was born, I just wanted someone else from the antenatal or aquanatal group to have a child with poblems too! It was only so I could have something in common with someone instead of all the clucky mums with their perfect newborns that I had nothing in common with. You are not scary!

youarekidding · 15/02/2012 19:17

cup I hate to inform you you are about as scary as a big fluffy cushion Grin

This is YOUR thread, a place to rant and put down your thoughts. And it's totally understandable you feel the way you do.

Sorry Bea is back in hospital. I hope someone comes along soon to introduce themselves and help you. Are in in a children's ward?

BB3 · 15/02/2012 19:20

We'll keep you company cup!

Hope Bea's sickness is just a temporary blip and you're back out drinking hot chocolate soon to get those calories up Wink

Don't feel bad for feeling bitter, i think it's perfectly normal and they won't be expecting anything from you. Xx

Love and hugs to you both x

DutchOma · 15/02/2012 19:37

In a funny way I was quite pleased the thread had gone a bit quiet, no news is good news and all that. But equally I am pleased to see some news of you here, even if it is not such good news. You must know where to come when you need a bit of support, just sorry that I can be of such little practical help.
I have not stopped praying for you and Bea and all the family.

cupofteaplease · 15/02/2012 19:42

Thanks guys, right it all moves a bit quickly in here! Already been seen by nurse, SHO and registrar. They've said she is clinically well, so we're just going to keep her in over night to rehydrate her with dioralyte on the pump, then send her home in the morning. (Our NHS area doesn't support overnight pump feeding at home).

Thanks for not abandoning me. Smile

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByaBear · 15/02/2012 19:43

Sorry to hear you are back in hospital with Smiling Bea.

And also sorry, but you are not going to scare us away madam! Another one here quite pleased that the thread had gone quiet.

Keep on fighting, the pair of you, and much love and hugs from the Bears.

CMOTDibbler · 15/02/2012 19:47

So sorry that Bea is back in hospital, and that you are feeling lonely.

You aren't a bitch in any way - those sort of feelings are very natural. And tbh, if she did a general announcement, I think it is very insensitive when its bound to be a difficult area for you

youarekidding · 15/02/2012 19:50

Doesn't support overnight feeding? Do you have a pump? or are you bolus feeding? (sorry I'm sure you've said)

ValEdictory · 15/02/2012 19:59

That's good you've seen the doctors and got a treatment plan. So you're staying in overnight with Bea? Keep chatting with us if you want to.

KateUnrulyBush · 15/02/2012 20:55

Hi Cup, just catching up. So you're in for the night? I hope they are a nice team and you can make yourself comfortable.

Don't be hard on yourself for not immediately jumping for joy on behalf of your friend btw. You should meet my inner bitch. Seriously, she is an absolute MONSTER!

BB3 · 15/02/2012 20:59

Glad it's just an overnight stay x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 15/02/2012 21:13

Cup, I'm not in your position and I still feel deep resentment when other people have babies! DP doesn't want any more and I'm broody fit to bust! You aren't scary, I think you are an amazing woman. And you have an amazing daughter. X

annalovesmrbates · 15/02/2012 21:17

You'll have to try much harder than that to scare us off! Hope you have a good night and go home tomorrow.

LittlePebble · 15/02/2012 21:19

No abandonment here either - everything you're feeling is perfectly normal!

Hope you get some nice doctors, a comfy bed and Bea smiling at you xxx

Thumbwitch · 15/02/2012 22:08

As if we would abandon you! We know you're human and not some kind of saint - of course you're going to have down days and bitter bitchy days - that would be normal. I think most of us can put our hands up to that when someone else has it go smoothly for them and we're having troubles, of whatever kind.

Sorry to hear that Bea has lost the weight - hope that the dioralyte helps and she manages to keep some food down and pick up again.

Have you got a photo of her smiling yet? Can't wait to see :)

Hope you have a quiet uneventful night xx

saffronwblue · 15/02/2012 22:22

Clinically well sounds good! cup you are not scary cup, you are human cup. This is your thread- please don't feel you have to edit your thoughts here. It is a rollercoaster, you will have your up times and down times and no-one here will judge you. I actually judge myself in comparison to you!

neverputasockinatoaster · 15/02/2012 22:27

Sending positive thoughts your way.

Sorry to hear that you are back in hospital and hope you are out tomorrow ready to enjoy the rest of the half term with your girls.

NorksAreMessy · 15/02/2012 22:45

Sorry cup you can't get rid of us that easily :)
You have to admit to eating your own bogies, having a poster of Bernard Manning or enjoying live Internet porn before we would even give you the side-eye.

Your feelings are your feelings, they are not something to apologise for or be upset over, they are a reality.
How you appear and what you DO are what is important, and at the moment what you DO is be an incredible mum to three lovely girls.

In fact, after all the loving kindness you have shown, a bit of bitchiness is quite refreshing, or we might start to think you are a saint:o

beatofthedrum · 15/02/2012 22:45

So glad to hear you're getting home in the morning. Hope little Bea has a good night xx

pixiestix · 16/02/2012 00:17

I'm so sorry you are back in hospital. I've just seen your post about Bea's smile - it made my heart leap and my eyes fill with tears. Beautiful, precious Bea.

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